


As Though I Deserve to Be Trapped Here

by ML_Quinn



Series: It's Not Easy To Know [1]
Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017), The Worst Witch - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, Confinement, Eventual Hicsqueak, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Series 1/Series 2/Series 3, Slow Burn, Spoilers through Series 3, Trauma, pre-canon backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 53,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24235477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ML_Quinn/pseuds/ML_Quinn
Summary: Hecate Hardbroom has built her entire life around Cackle’s Academy and she truly thought she was okay with that. But when a certain witch with a renowned proclivity for pink robes and making her smile files back into her life Hecate is forced to reconcile what could have been with what has to be.(A canon compliant account of Hecate’s relationship with Pippa through the first three series of The Worst Witch.)
Relationships: Hardbroom/Pentangle (Worst Witch)
Series: It's Not Easy To Know [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873015
Comments: 70
Kudos: 181





	1. Prologue - I am Tired of Feeling That I Should Be Grateful To Be Trapped Here

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Deals with Hecate's Confinement & Trauma/PTSD

It had been a hell of a week. Though if she were pushed to think about it Hecate would admit every week in recent memory had been a hell of a week. Ever since Mildred Hubble, a presumably ordinary girl with unexplained magical powers, had crash landed at Cackle’s Academy alongside Maud Spellbody Hecate had felt a sense of unease settle at the bottom of her stomach.

Deep down Hecate knew that Mildred was not an ordinary girl. That she was not the result of a young witch’s terrible judgement with magic and disregard of The Code. More and more girls with non-magical parents had been showing magical abilities in recent years - something Hecate attributed to the increase in witches and wizards sleeping around more and a general lack of respect for traditional witching family lines - and Mildred clearly hadn’t known she had powers until she was explicitly told she had them. Mildred Hubble was simply a witch that grew up with an ordinary mother. Without a father in the picture it was entirely plausible that a playboy wizard was the source of her untraced magical powers.

But even the most well-reasoned and factual explanations didn’t assuage the complex feelings she had every time Mildred Hubble crossed her path. The dread in her stomach every time Mildred put herself and others in danger. The twinge of familiarity each time Maud stuck up for Mildred: _“She just needs a chance to learn The Code! It’s not fair!”_ The overwhelming compulsion to get Mildred away from Cackle’s before she does something she cannot fix because she simply cannot understand the amount of power she’s been given. And of course, the envy that swells somewhere deep down, somewhere Hecate cannot explain, each time Mildred manages to fix her mistakes or learns to control her increasingly unpredictable magic. The chances Mildred is given that she never would have been if she’d been from a respectable witching family. The chances that Hecate was never given.

But this week had been particularly exhausting. On top of all of the anxieties she felt about keeping Mildred safe under such abnormal circumstances as being selected to represent the academy in the Spelling Bee, she had been forced to face an even deeper anxiety. 

_Pippa_. 

Despite her best efforts Hecate continued to find herself distracted by thoughts of the Headmistress of Pentangle’s Academy. Pippa Pentangle had been here, at Cackle’s Academy, for the first time since she’d graduated over twenty years ago. Pippa had been here, and for the first time in years she had spoken to her best (or perhaps more accurately _only_ ) friend. 

She knew she should be grading the second year’s essays on the differential uses of feather of raven and feather of crow, and at one point she had been - her grading quill still levitating in front of her waiting for direction on how to mark the paper before her as evidence of the endeavor, but she’d gotten distracted.

At some point she had pushed aside the stack of essays in favor of two items: a small but well-worn hardbound journal filled with Hecate’s sprawling handwriting from when she was younger, opened to a page with a photograph of Hecate and Pippa their final year at Cackle’s, and a recent copy of _Witch Weekly_ boasting the headline “Miss Pentangle’s Academy of Modern Magic: A Sought After Education for Magical Children From All Backgrounds”. 

Hecate sighed as she looked back and forth between the two photographs. Pippa had always been popular so it was no surprise that her school was the same. Her bubbly personality and seemingly effortless kindness had meant that every other witch at school had wanted to be her friend. But somehow when Pippa Pentangle transferred to Cackle’s Academy in her fourth year she had picked Hecate Hardbroom to be her friend.

Of course, Pippa was friendly with almost everyone, but when she wanted to talk to someone about something that had been bothering her or to just sit quietly with someone so she didn’t feel alone she would knock on Hecate’s door first.

Hecate hadn’t understood it then, and she certainly didn’t understand it now. Pippa Pentangle was, and it seemed always would be, entirely out of her comfort zone. Hecate didn’t know how they could ever be friends again, as Pippa had boldly suggested early this morning before her departure, when everything in this article about Pippa suggested that nearly her entire life, be it social, professional, or personal, was out of Hecate’s reach. 

Eventually her focus was broken by the sound of a knock on her office door. She quickly vanished the journal and the magazine to their place in a drawer in her quarters before sliding the last essay she’d been working on closer and speaking. “Enter.” she ground out through clenched teeth, sighing internally as she gazed at the stack of essays she had somehow managed to ignore for the last several hours. 

The door opened to reveal Ada, looking reasonably concerned to see her Deputy still hard at work at such a late hour. “You missed dinner.” 

“Yes.” Hecate replied shortly.

Ada sighed before fully entering the office and closing the door behind her. “You must eat something Hecate.”

Hecate looked up at her, eyes sharp and accusatory. “I can manage just fine Ada. I will eat before bed. You certainly know I can manage myself by now.”

Ada rolled her eyes good naturedly before summoning a tea set from her quarters. “Tea and some biscuits.” she stated firmly before moving to prepare the tea. “That’s all I ask.” She said motioning for Hecate to join her by the fireplace. 

Hecate lowered her quill carefully onto her desk before nodding briefly in acceptance. She knew that this request, like most requests made of her these days, was not really up for debate. 

Slowly she rounded her desk to sit where Ada had indicated. She felt her magic surge with the stress of being so exposed. Behind her desk, she could hide. Not literally of course, but it acted as a shield that would prevent Ada from noticing her all too rigid body language as she tried to control the increasingly uncontrollable anxiety that had been building throughout the week.

Ada rambled on as she finished preparing the tea, two sugars and milk for herself, with only a splash of milk for Hecate (and only because it is the evening). Hecate found herself entirely unaware of what had been said until she heard Ada move into uncharted conversational territory “I am sorry you and Miss Pentangle didn’t seem to get along this week.”

Hecate shook her head, assuming she must have misheard. “I beg your pardon?” 

“I must admit that I had thought you would be happier to see Miss Pentangle. I recall my mother telling me that she was always kind to you in school.” Ada stated, a questioning tone in her voice as she moved to hand Hecate her tea. 

Hecate grimaced at her choice of words. She knew she had never been seen as a witch with friends, only a witch that had kindnesses shown to her. Kindnesses that many believed she did not deserve. “Ada please. I would rather not discuss this.” she replied softly, taking the tea cup from Ada’s outstretched hand.

Ada looked at her Deputy Head with a newfound sense of determination. “Hecate you’ve never been one to avoid a discussion. Not with me anyway.” she probed.

Hecate’s jaw clenched as she tried to calm the anxiety that had been building since Pippa’s arrival the week before. “I am just tired.” She feigned admittance before realizing by Ada’s unmoved expression that it would not suffice. Sighing, Hecate tried again, this time with at least an attempt at sincerity. “I just find events that bring visitors to the castle overwhelming.” She admitted quietly. “There is so much pressure to make the most of that time that I often find myself unable to enjoy it at all.”

Ada nodded at the floor, obviously avoiding meeting her eyes. “I can imagine how that would be difficult.” she sighed after an extended moment of silence. “I’m sorry Hecate.” 

Hecate bit down on her lip to stop her response. She didn’t know whether she was about to laugh, cry, or scream but she knew anything but an acknowledgement of the sentiment would be inappropriate given her situation. “As am I.”

She sat quietly while she finished her tea. Ada, as always, found ways to fill the silence, though more than ever this time Hecate knew she would not remember the topics discussed. Her mind was far too focused on keeping her magic under control until she was able to burn off some of the energy that continued to build. 

The moment she sensed the opportunity to escape the conversation she found herself mumbling a half-baked “thank you” and something about “needing to make evening rounds” before clenching her fist in front of her and transferring into her chambers. 

She could still feel her magic anxiously buzzing around her so she twisted her hand again. Once, twice, and again - transferring back and forth from her rooms to the furthest edge of Cackle’s grounds until the energy around her felt manageable.

It was then that she noticed a bright pink envelope that had been slipped under her door on the floor of her chambers. Trembling, she summoned the envelope into her shaking hands, cringing slightly as she slid her nail against the seam to reveal an all too familiar handwriting. 

> _Hecate,_
> 
> _It was lovely to visit Cackle’s again after all these years. I must admit that it was also lovely to see you again. I’ve found myself quite surprised that you have stayed at Cackle’s after all these years but it was always the place you called home. I’m glad that you’ve been able to truly make it one._
> 
> _Frankly, I find myself regretting not visiting our Alma Mater up until now given the wonderful students and faculty there. My memories of Cackle’s truly don’t capture the extraordinary magical traditions and community that the school represents and I found myself quite awestruck by the familiarity and mystery the place holds all at once. I hope to make my visits more frequent in the future. Perhaps we could schedule a regular time to meet for tea (and I would hope for a game of chess)?_
> 
> _I also wanted to invite you to present at a series of traditional witching workshops we will be holding over the summer holiday at Pentangle’s. I know that the modern magic education we do at Pentangle’s is unfamiliar to you, but it is materially rooted in the same concepts that are taught as a part of a traditional magic education. During the summer we host a workshop series to provide pupils from non-traditional backgrounds a chance to catch up on the traditional concepts they would not have learned at home. Miss Youngblood (from Darkwood Witching College) usually hosts our Potions sessions but will be on maternity leave this year._
> 
> _Of course I thought of you before now, I just didn’t know how to ask… given that we weren’t speaking and all. Anyway, let me know what you think, I very much hope that you’ll consider my invitation._
> 
> _Pippa_
> 
> _P.S. I hope you can forgive me for offering Mildred a scholarship. I just wanted her to see that not everyone feels the same way about witches from non-traditional backgrounds. I realize now I’ve crossed a line. I’m sorry._

Just as she finished reading the letter she realized her fingertips had become quite hot, slightly singeing the delicate pink parchment in her hand before she dropped it to the floor, keenly aware that it would burst into flames if she held onto it any longer (and that it was far too precious to destroy so frivolously).

Her mind raced as she tried to think of what she should say. How could one letter hold so many impossible questions. It only took a moment for her to remember that it didn’t matter what she wanted to say. She could never and would never be able to visit Pentangle’s and ultimately Pippa’s life now revolved around her school. She felt the tears she had held back for the better part of the week start to fall as she slammed her fist against the cold stone wall.

“Fuck.”


	2. As a Frog in the Pond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S1:E12 "Out of Bounds"

Hecate had learned to live with the unease she’d felt about Agatha’s sudden reappearance since selection day. The possibility that Agatha would somehow convince Ada to let her help with the school again seemed all too probable. So Hecate spoke cautiously in Ada’s presence. Suggesting ways that Ada could mend her relationship with her sister without revisiting past mistakes. Advising carefully about what she felt would benefit the girls, without letting on too much about which girl she was really trying to protect. But everything changed when Ada confided in her about what Mildred had found on her birth scroll. Agatha Cackle, born thirteen minutes before her twin sister Ada was protected by The Code in her quest for power at Cackle’s. If Agatha were to take her rightful place as Headmistress of Cackle’s Academy Hecate would be forced to face a reality that she thought she’d managed to avoid many years ago.

The years Ada and Agatha ran the academy together that were well-known to have been disastrous for the school were also personally disastrous for Hecate’s peace of mind. Agatha had made it clear from the beginning that she had no sympathy for Hecate. She could remember clearly when Agatha cornered her in the potions lab the night she’d arrived, grabbing her wrist to prevent her from transferring away. “My sister and mother have a soft spot for you but I don’t. You replaced Mrs. Moonfall when she retired by default because you were here but we would be better off with a potions mistress that has real accreditation and that hasn’t turned students to stone. I plan to see to it that we get one.”

Hecate knew that Agatha had never been told the whole story of Hecate’s confinement, and at that point Ada didn’t know it either. Alma Cackle had shared only the necessary information with her daughters upon her retirement. An incident during her third year had left one of Hecate’s classmates irreparably turned to stone (necessary to explain Indigo Moon in the woods nearby) and that the mishap had garnered the attention of the Grand Wizard who had declared that Hecate would be confined to Cackle’s Academy as punishment (necessary to explain Hecate’s inability to leave the grounds).

But it didn’t matter that Agatha didn’t know exactly what had transpired while Hecate was at Cackle’s, as Co-Headmistress of Cackle’s Academy she had power over Hecate. The power to decide if she would be allowed to remain at Cackle’s or if her confinement would be transferred to the Great Wizard for relocation.

Confinement was (at least historically) a relatively common punishment for wayward witches and wizards. Young wizards who got into scrapes with their classmates or siblings far too frequently often found themselves confined to their rooms for a day or two. Teenage witches who were caught sneaking out of the house at all hours over breaks from school would suddenly find they were unable to leave their homes at all after dark. And of course, adult witches and wizards who violated The Code would find themselves confined for much longer periods of time. Generally this would be done at their own home or the home of a close family or coven member- after all The Code does dictate caring and taking responsibility for our own. However, when that is not an option (or when the violation was deemed too severe) they are sent to places like Flamewood Institute, institutions designed to limit the burden their confinement places on the rest of society while maintaining the punishment they were given.

Agatha of course was liberal with her reminders of this potential outcome throughout her tenure. From quietly whispered taunts in the faculty lounge, “As soon as Ada realizes that my vision for Cackle’s is what’s truly best you’ll be shipped off to Flamewood first thing.” to direct questioning of Hecate’s place there in her annual teaching evaluation, “The students don’t even like her Ada. Why are we keeping her here?” Agatha had made it clear that in her eyes Hecate was a burden that was not wanted at Cackle’s Academy.

So Hecate had kept her head down. Speaking only when called on, and acting only when requested to throughout Agatha’s time at the castle. But after a few years, and a few reprimands from the Great Wizard about her own behavior as a Headmistress, Agatha had lost interest in the school and left Ada, the eldest Cackle sister to her own devices as the rightful and sole Headmistresses of Cackle’s Academy.

Except Ada Cackle is not the eldest Cackle sister, Agatha is. And somehow Mildred Hubble, _Mildred Hubble of all people_ , had managed to dig this information up after over sixty years. And to top it all off Agatha had managed to get out of the entrapment spells at Darkwood Cottage putting herself in a position of power over Hecate for the first time in nearly twenty years.

When Ada had told her she was leaving to check on her sister Hecate all but spat out “At least let me come with you.” hearing the words come out of her mouth before she could truly consider them 

Ada met her eyes carefully, knowing they couldn’t really discuss this, not in the hall where the students could overhear. “No, Hecate. I need you here… in case anything happens.”

When Ada returned with the news that Agatha had escaped Hecate insisted on putting up the wards herself. Cackle’s Academy was the only place Hecate could be safe and she would only be safe there if Agatha didn’t find out that she had a legitimate claim to the school. If they would be relying on protective spells for this she would be the one to hold them.

As she flew around the perimeter Hecate tried to ignore the knots building up in her stomach and the thoughts that plagued her mind between each casting of protective spells. 

_She’ll destroy the school._

_The girls are in danger._

_I’m in danger._

She managed to hold herself together as she told the first years about the wards. Explaining to a room of scared eleven year olds why their earlier classes had been cancelled and why they were required to stay inside the castle. Taking the time to try to ease the distress of the girls who seemed most upset and providing mirror tokens to those who she’d been unable to calm herself. Frankly she thought was handling everything quite admirably given the circumstances. And she really was, up until she saw Maud running through the corridor with a distinctly familiar looking frog in her hands.

With a twist of her hand at her side she transferred directly in the young witch’s path, giving her a few paces to stop to avoid a collision she had no interest in being a part of. “Miss Spellbody,” she drawled carefully, pausing to examine her pupil’s response. “I trust that in addition to running in the hallways you would not also be complicit in the re-entrapment of Mr. Rowan Webb in amphibian form.”

Maud looked up at her nervously before choking out, “No of course not HB.” “Miss Cackle offered to help with my… spell science project.”

With a glare of disapproval and a firm reminder to “Refrain from sprinting through the corridor.” before stepping aside and watching Maud continue, at a slightly slower pace, towards Miss Cackle’s office.

It was then that Hecate realized her heart was racing. 

The thought of Algernon being forced into his amphibian form once again had quickly brought to the surface the emotions she’d been ignoring for the better part of the day. With a twist of her hand she transferred to her quarters, feeling the tears fall as soon as her feet landed on the familiar rug in her living room. She slowly sunk to the floor, pulling her legs up tightly in front of her chest as she tried to take deep breaths, tears soaking her dress. The thoughts she’d been avoiding suddenly flooding her mind.

_Why do I care so much about what happens to this place? How can I care so much about a school that’s only still my home because I can’t leave? If Agatha takes the school, which she fundamentally has a right to do, I will lose everything._

Thinking back to the start of her panic attack she finally realizes why seeing Maud with the frog that was truly a spitting image of Algernon had forced all of this back to the surface. 

_How many damn people has this castle been a prison to?_

It striked her as strange how quickly Algernon had seemed to move on after they’d found him. Given the number of years of his life he had spent trapped as a frog in the pond at Cackle’s, in many ways a confinement much worse than her own, she would have expected a . But he had Gwen, and Gwen surely was there to discuss those thoughts and feelings with him. She supposed that it was possible that love could help one to manage even the most tumultuous past, but that was something Hecate had given up on long ago. 

It’s difficult to imagine finding love of any sort when you’ve spent your entire life in the same place. You don’t meet new people very often staying in one place, not unless they come to you. And frankly it was rarely appropriate for Hecate to consider any sort of relationship other than a professional or professorial one with most of Cackle’s visitors. But then of course there was Pippa. Suddenly crashing - elegantly landing - back to Cackle’s Academy - and therefore Hecate - after nearly twenty years. 

_Oh shit - Pippa._ She cursed internally, remembering that she was scheduled to call her this afternoon. Or more precisely, twenty minutes ago, given the time the watch around her neck displayed.

* * *

Having pulled herself somewhat back together Hecate sat down at her mirror, now nearly forty minutes late for her call with Pippa.

“Hecate!” Pippa smiled brightly when she answered the call. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d call - you’ve never been late before.”

Hecate cringed. “I was helping a student with a spell science project and lost track of time.” she said, ashamed at how easy the lie was. 

Pippa accepted her explanation easily and moved on to the set of questions Hecate thought she must prepare before each they had. “How did Cackle’s fare the mists of time? We only had them for an hour or so but I heard that Cackle’s was under for nearly a whole day!” 

Hecate grimaced. “It was… eventful.” She admitted before meeting Pippa’s concerned eyes and quickly adding. “But everyone is fine. So there’s no need for concern.” 

Pippa nodded with a mischievous grin. “I can only assume Mildred Hubble was involved.” 

“Of course.” Hecate replied, a grin of her own slipping through for a brief moment.

They chatted amicably for a while. Pippa asking Hecate questions about Cackle’s and her life. Hecate responding, while politely avoiding topics that she didn’t feel comfortable discussing. It wasn’t until she heard Pippa say, “Hecate you seem distracted. Is everything alright? We can always just talk next week...” that she’d realized her mood had become so transparent.

She shook her head immediately in response, not wanting to give Pippa a reason to worry. “Sorry - just administrative matters. But I would like to talk with you.” This wasn’t a lie. After all, if Agatha found out about her status and made her claim to be Headmistress of Cackle’s this may be the last mirror call she made.

Pippa nodded in understanding. “This time of year there is a seemingly endless pile of paperwork to handle.” She sympathized before changing the topic. “I read the article you recommended on the medicinal applications of frogspawn... ”

Hecate quickly found herself resenting making the call at all. Instead of the familiar comfort she’d been finding in her weekly calls with Pippa, her bright smile was an unwelcome intruder into her increasingly dark and helpless world. She tried to nod along and provide appropriate responses to Pippa’s stories about her research and the mischief Pentngle’s students had gotten up to since they last spoke but she knew she was doing a poor job of it.

Eventually Pippa sighed. “Look, this is clearly a one-sided conversation. Maybe we should pick this up next week. I want to talk with you, not at you.”

Hecate was trying to figure out how to respond when her maglet chimed. “Sorry… I have to...” She apologized briefly while summoning it from her desk and opening the message.

_Agatha’s in my office. I’m going there now. - Ada Cackle_

Immediately forgetting her ongoing call with Pippa, Hecate cast a few quick spells to secure her belongings in her quarters - missing Pippa’s earnest questioning, “Hecate? What’s wrong? Hecate?” - and transferred out of the room. 

“Hecate!” Pippa’s voice called angrily into the empty room before muttering something about “having the decency to say goodbye” and hanging up the call herself.

* * *

By the time Hecate had transferred to Ada’s office last night the damage had been done. Esmerelda Hallow had given her magic to Agatha and there was no sign of Ada - though Hecate swore she could still feel her magic, angrily reverberating throughout her office.

“Hecate Hardbroom it’s good to see you my dear.” Agatha had drawled at her sudden appearance. “My sister sends her regards but has decided that as the eldest Cackle daughter it was not her place to stand in the way of The Code.”

Hecate bowed slightly, raising her hand to her forehead in formal greeting. “Well met, Headmistress.”

Agatha nodded in approval. “Glad to see you’ve learned your place, Hecate. You will now escort these girls to their rooms for the night and I will see you all at the assembly first thing in the morning.”

Hecate didn’t speak but motioned for Esmerelda and Ethel to follow her into the hall. Ethel smiled smugly the entire way to her room, slamming the door behind herself with a satisfied smirk on her face. Esmerelda looked up at Hecate with apologetic eyes but didn’t say anything until they got to her room.

“Miss Hardbroom I’m so sorry. I thought…” Esmerelda started before Hecate shook her head and motioned for her to go into her room.

“I know Esmerelda. You would never intentionally hurt Miss Cackle or the school.” Hecate affirmed quickly before closing the door behind them and lowering her voice. “Esmerelda I need you to listen to me. Without your magic you are in more danger than the rest of the students. You can’t protect yourself if something goes wrong so you need to keep your head down and stay out of trouble. Do you understand?”

Esmerelda nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I understand.”

“I’ll see you in the morning.” Hecate reassured her quietly before transferring out of Esmerelda’s room down to the first year corridor to do her final bed checks.

Somehow she wasn’t surprised to find that not all of her form students were safely in bed. Of course Mildred Hubble would be missing at a time like this. Cursing internally she transferred directly in front of Maud Spellbody’s door.

She knocked gently as she opened the door. “Miss Spellbody?” She questioned quietly.

Maud jumped at the sound of her teacher’s voice. “Miss Hardbroom!” she squeaked, pulling her covers up around her as a shield. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”

“It’s okay Maud. You’re not in trouble but I do need to ask you some questions.” Hecate quieted her quickly, closing the door behind herself. Maud nodded but didn’t reply so she continued. “Is Mildred Hubble off of school grounds?”

Maud looked at her with some uncertainty before noting the concern in her teachers eyes and sighing. “Yes. She tried to go to Darkwood Cottage but I think she must’ve gotten lost or something because she didn’t come back.”

Hecate sighed before casting a discovery spell to find that Mildred was in fact at Darkwood Cottage, a place she could not go to get her. She sat down at the end of Maud’s bed in silence for a few minutes before speaking again. “Maud I need you to trust me and do exactly as I say.”

* * *

Hecate and Maud had been standing together by the entrance gates to the castle grounds for nearly an hour when Hecate spoke. “Mildred is coming. Are you sure you can do this?” She asked, looking down at her student while trying to hide the fear in her eyes.

Maud nodded before rounding the corner to wait for the knock that would soon come from her best friend on the other side. She cringed when she heard Mildred’s fist pound nervously against the gate and paused before opening the door, trying hard to hide her reluctance to see Mildred in the first place. 

“Maud!” Mildred exclaimed, relieved to see her friend rather than her form mistress had opened the gate. 

Maud swallowed the guilt rising in her throat before speaking “Mildred.”

Misidentifying Maud’s strange behavior as disappointment in her Mildred began to apologize “I’m sorry you were right. Please don’t be mad at me.”

It took all of the bravery Maud had to do what she’d been asked to do next. “Miss Hardbroom!” she called out in a sing-song voice, signaling to her teacher that it was in fact Mildred and that the plan would work.

“Maud!” Mildred exclaims angrily backing away in horror as her teacher transfers into view just behind her friend.

Hecate internalized the guilt she felt at Mildred’s horrified face and questioned directly. “Did you leave school grounds without permission?” 

When Mildred didn’t respond Maud spoke for her. “She did, Miss Hardbroom.”

Mildred glared at Maud in confusion before trying to defend herself “I know, but-”

“You know the penalty.” Hecate stopped her, raising her hand to prepare to transfer Mildred home to her flat. “I shall transfer you home immediately.”

Mildred’s eyes widened as she tried to figure out how to be allowed to stay. “I’m sorry I was wrong! Maud-”

Maud reached to grab her friend’s outstretched hand only to see that Mildred was already gone. Sniffling quietly to keep the tears at bay she turned to look at her teacher sadly. 

“You did the right thing Maud.” Hecate reassured her waiting carefully for Maud to acknowledge she understood. When Maud dejectedly responded with a quiet “I know.” She placed her hand gently on her pupils shoulder and lowered her voice. “Mildred was expelled the moment she stepped off school grounds so she was not a pupil at Cackle’s while Agatha was Headmistress. As an underage witch without an educational affiliation she is not bound by the same rules of The Code as the rest of us. She is our best chance at helping Miss Cackle.” 

Maud nodded, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes. “I hurt her though.” She protested quietly.

Hecate stopped, making direct eye contact with her student before reciting an all too familiar reminder. “You did the right thing to keep her safe even though it was hard for her. That is often what it takes to be a true friend.”


	3. As Oil on a Canvas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S1:E13 "The Worst Headmistress"

Hecate was exhausted. It had been almost two weeks since Agatha had taken over the school and just getting through each day was taking a toll. She’d tried to bury herself in helping students revise for their term exams but there’s only so much studying you can convince students to do while they recover from the same event that keeps you awake every night.

She’d tried to sleep, but she’d had nightmares. The visceral, all-encompassing kind of nightmares that felt all too real that she hadn’t had since Agatha had left the school the first time. For the first week she’d tried a dreamless sleeping drought, but the nightmares came anyway. One night the terrifying feeling of the restrictions Agatha placed on casting magic returned, and her fear of casting persisted for days after. The next she was forced to remember the hours she spent trapped in the painting with Ada, watching helplessly as Agatha destroyed the school around them. Then again, reliving the moments where she desperately tried to explain to The Great Wizard that working with Agatha to trap him was far beyond her control and that she was so, so, sorry.

And so since she can’t sleep, and she can’t think, and she can’t rest, she works. Powered by wide awake potion she spends the time between classes collecting, organizing, and labeling ingredients to replace the ones that were compromised by Agatha’s annihilation spell and the nights replenishing the potions stock in the infirmary. It was a routine that allowed for disruption, something that was absolutely necessary with a castle full of students that are either trying to process the near destruction of their school or are panicked about their impending exams. So when Hecate heard the door to her classroom open as she prepared for her afternoon revision session with the fourth years she expected yet another distressed student to manage.

But the last thing she expected was for Pippa Pentangle to come storming into her classroom, windswept hair and a rant falling off her tongue that had been forming before she had even decided to fly here. “Hecate Hardbroom would you care to explain what is going on here? Like maybe why you hung up on me so abruptly when we last talked? Why you’ve clearly been completely ignoring my calls ever since,” she said pointedly, angrily gesturing at the mirror across the room that clearly displayed her name with the text _6 Missed Calls_ underneath “but more importantly why in hell you _expelled_ Mildred Hubble?”

Hecate looked up at her, eyes wide as saucers as she tried to process exactly what was happening. “I’m sorry… Mildred?” She stammered anxiously, trying to come up with a response that would dissipate even an ounce of the anger she could feel radiating from her friend’s magic. 

“You expelled her and I’d like to know why. But Mildred’s not answering at home, and you’re not answering here so I don’t really know what I’m supposed to think here.” Pippa replied her voice increasingly exasperated.

Hecate snapped. “Of course she didn’t bloody answer at home Mildred Hubble is here, and she’s fine, so just stay out of it. Please.” Her voice breaking on her desperate plea. 

It was then that Pippa noticed the tell-tale shaking in Hecate’s eyes, the sign she knew that told her Hecate was on the verge of breaking. She clearly remembers how they would shake when she received yet another letter from her father detailing the ways in which she had failed the Hardbroom name or when Mrs. Cackle critiqued her behavior a bit stronger than strictly necessary with reminders to  _ remember her place here _ that Pippa never remembered receiving herself. So she adjusted her approach accordingly. “Hiccup? What’s going on?” she asked again, gently this time.

“Not here.” Hecate managed to ground out, looking anxiously at the clock on the wall. “Not now. Students will be here soon.”

Pippa nodded, knowing that she couldn’t push her, not like this. “Okay. Is there somewhere I can wait? The faculty lounge?“

Hecate shook her head quickly, partly not wanting anyone else to know Pippa was here but more importantly wanting to make sure Pippa didn’t have the opportunity to talk to anyone else about what happened. “My quarters, you can wait there.”

* * *

So Pippa waited. Quietly holed up in Hecate’s quarters for the rest of the day and a good portion of the evening. At first she just sat in a chair in her living room. It felt the least imposing to just sit. But eventually she began to walk around, looking at the belongings of a woman she was trying to get to know again. She wasn’t snooping really, just trying to get a sense of who Hecate Hardbroom was now. What parts of her had changed (her clear priority for academic writing over the poetry they had poured over as teenagers) and what parts remained the same (the only sugar she came across in her rooms were some ginger biscuits).

Eventually she settled back into the chair, this time with a recent copy of  _ Potion’s Quarterly _ to read while she waited. Hours later, when Hecate finally transferred into her rooms with a small bowl in hand, Pippa tried to hide her surprise that Hecate had actually shown up at all with a small smile.

“I brought you some soup.” Hecate said awkwardly, her words stilted as she stood still, seemingly stuck where she had apparated. When Pippa didn’t say anything she tried elaborating, “From dinner.”

Pippa had to bite down to prevent the smirk she felt from reaching her face. “Yes, of course. Thank you.” she acknowledged, getting up to take the bowl from Hecate’s ever so slightly shaking hands. When Hecate continued to stand there, making no indication that she planned to move, Pippa finally asked, “Can we sit?”

Hecate didn’t respond, but moved to sit across from where Pippa had been seated when she arrived.

Pippa quietly ate the soup she’d been brought and waited until she had finished to speak again. “I take it that I’m missing some information here.” Pippa breached the subject again. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have come here but I didn’t know what else to do. If Mildred was expelled from Cackle’s I assumed it was for some reason, but I couldn’t figure out why and I needed to know in order to make a decision about if she could come to Pentangle’s. But the Hubbles weren’t responding to my mirrors or my phone calls and so I tried mirroring you. But you also weren’t answering my calls and I just got so frustrated-”

“Who told you Mildred was expelled?” Hecate finally interrupted.

“Mildred.” Pippa replied simply, but at Hecate’s perplexed expression she decided to elaborate. “I got a letter from Mildred - it was posted nearly a fortnight ago but I didn’t see it until a few days ago - asking if my scholarship offer was still on the table. The letter was a bit disjointed but from what I could put together she said you’d expelled her?” 

Hecate nodded. “I did.”

Pippa sighed in frustration. “I know that you find Mildred frustrating but it’s not fair to her to continually rip stability out from underneath her. She deserves to have witches that will protect her and mentor her in her life and if you can’t do that-”

“I didn’t have a choice.” Hecate finally snapped. “First of all, Mildred got herself expelled by leaving the castle grounds while it was expressly forbidden. Second of all, I maintained that expulsion because it was the only chance I had to keep me-” she cringed at the slip “-her safe.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Pippa stopped her, her eyes wide with confusion. “You’re gonna have to back way up here because I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why would Mildred be in danger here?”

She quickly realized there was no way to avoid telling Pippa at least part of what had happened. So slowly, with Pippa’s nods of encouragement helping her along, Hecate retold the events that had transpired almost two weeks prior. How Agatha had found out she was rightfully entitled to the school and had trapped Ada in a painting in her office while she staked her claim. How Hecate herself had been trapped in the painting after she risked casting in a last ditch attempt to help Ada. Her naive hope that since Mildred would be able to get around whatever restrictions on magic Agatha put in place for the rest of them she would call for help, certainly not that she would return to the castle and force Hecate to choose between trying to protect her and attempting to save the school. How Mildred saved both her and the school. The punishment Agatha had been given.

Pippa sat quietly for a moment after Hecate had finished before locking eyes with her and clearly stating. “Hiccup that’s...awful.” 

“Everyone is okay.” She quickly dismissed her, but was unwilling to say anything further.

Pippa thought about what to say for several minutes before speaking again. “Are you okay? With the punishment they’ve given her?”

Hecate bristled at the harsh reminder of the reality she’d been trying to avoid - that Agatha and Geraldine were trapped against their will at Cackle’s forever, much like herself. “Why wouldn’t I be?” She snapped defensively.

Pippa softened, moving her hand to rest on Hecate’s knee. “I guess I just have a hard time with these things. I mean, you were in that painting so you know what it’s like. Being trapped somewhere you didn’t choose to be as a punishment, with no apparent end to the sentence. Even when someone’s done something wrong confinement doesn’t allow for correction or exculpation. It’s not justice, it's barbaric.” she proclaimed passionately before looking up to see the tears streaming down her friend’s face. “Oh, Hiccup! I’m sorry... I- I shouldn’t have compared what Agatha did to you to her punishment. It’s not the same. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Hecate choked on a sob as she tried not to laugh. “In many ways it is… very much the same.”

Pippa waited a moment before speaking again. “Can I give you a hug?” she asked timidly. 

A part of her very much wanted to say yes, to let her walls down enough to be comforted for just a moment. But a much larger part of her knew that those walls were a protection she couldn’t give up. “Will you just… sit with me?” she countered nervously. 

Pippa just smiled and nodded, moving to sit next to Hecate. “As long as you’d like.” she promised, settling in next to her, allowing the silence to fill the space while her friend got comfortable again.

After a while, Hecate spoke again. “Ada said something to me… about Agatha.” she started nervously. “About her… punishment. She said that Agatha had always loved this place and that now she would never have to leave it.” She stopped to gather her bearings before she asked the question that had plagued her mind since Ada had said the words. “Do you think that’s true? That it’s best to be trapped somewhere you once loved than somewhere that never meant anything to you?”

Pippa thought for a moment before responding carefully. “I’d like to think that maybe it does. That it can help… with the pain, to be somewhere familiar. Or perhaps… around those that care for them. That this is why people choose to confine their loved ones at home.”

Hecate flinched slightly at that, anger rising in her chest. “But maybe the witch should get to choose. Rather than allowing those who claim to know her best to make the choice for her.” 

Pippa sighed. “I’d like to hope that I will never be put in a position where I have to help decide something like this.” Pippa admitted before continuing, realizing that perhaps she’d implied the wrong thing. “But I think I’ve picked some pretty reliable people to care about so I’m not too worried.” Pippa joked, nudging Hecate gently.

Hecate smiled weakly, mumbling “Yes... of course.” Suddenly feeling like she was back in the painting again, entirely unable to say what she desperately wanted to someone right in front of her. “I hope no one ever puts you in that position as well.”


	4. As a Young Witch in Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S2:E2 "The Friendship Trap"

They were only a week into the year and Hecate was already overwhelmed. With the East Wing destroyed, the entire school requiring the removal of the leftover bad magic from Agatha’s annihilation spell, and the founding stone out on display in the hall Hecate found that there was little time to think about anything that wasn’t urgently pressing. So when Ada brought up the behavior of Ethel Hallow and Mildred Hubble during their morning meeting Hecate was more than surprised.

“How have Miss Hubble and Miss Hallow been getting along in your classes?” Ada asked, handing over a draft of the permission slips for the upcoming fifth year sleepaway for Hecate to look over.

Confused about how the petty behavior of two of their second years warranted mentioning at all with everything else going on - and frankly caring more to finish up the paperwork they’d been working on all morning - Hecate replied distractedly. “The two have been at each other's throats. So, nothing out of the ordinary.”

“That’s what I figured.” Ada said, shaking her head knowingly. “I decided a friendship trap was in order so I anticipate we will see them both in here shortly.”

“Ada you didn’t-” Hecate began before Ada stopped her protest.

Ada looked to her Deputy in surprise. “I would have thought you of all people would approve of an attempt to end this ridiculous feud between Mildred and Ethel.”

Grasping the watch around her neck she sighed and nodded. “Of course. You know that I want it sorted before either of them get seriously hurt. But a friendship trap Ada?” 

“The girls will learn to get along.” Ada assured her, not looking up from the paperwork she was filling out. 

It was then that Ethel and Mildred came flying through Ada’s office door. “Miss Hardbroom Mildred Hubble has done something and now she’s stuck to me and she won’t undo it.” Ethel whined earnestly.

In an attempt of support Hecate turned towards the girls with a severe expression. “Surely your arms being fused has not removed your ability to remember to knock.”

Ethel immediately protested. “But Miss Hardbroom!”

“Alright girls, come over here so I can take a look at you.” Ada made a show of pulling out a magnifying glass and examining their connected arms for a bit before speaking. “There appears to be a fusion at a molecular level.”

“Is that bad? Sounds bad.” Mildred asked anxiously, looking to Hecate for information.

Ada smiled in response. “No, I did an excellent job. Some of my best work, in fact.” She stopped and looked directly at Hecate before continuing. “I set a self-activating friendship trap. Sadly, you both fell into it hat first.”

“A what-what, Miss Cackle?” Mildred asked, still trying to understand what was going on.

“You were arguing again? Ada asked in response, walking to return the magnifying glass to its place.

It was then that Hecate decided to step in and explain what was going on to the younger witches. “The negative energy between you made the trap react, bonding you together.”

Ada turned back to the girls and nodded. “Once that energy’s gone, the bond will be broken.

Mildred looked up at Miss Cackle, eyes wide in realization. “So, we only get separated if we’re-”

“Friends?” Ethel interrupted her in shock..

“Friends.” Ada confirmed with a smile. “Now, that won’t be so bad. Will it, girls?”

To their credit, neither Ethel nor Mildred had argued to have the trap removed and both had left the office looking like they’d been suitably admonished for their behavior. 

Ada and Hecate sat back down at Ada’s desk and worked through the rest of the paperwork. Eventually, noting the time Hecate realized she needed to get to her classroom. “When would you like me to remove the spell?” she asked as she gathered her things.

“Which spell?” Ada asked absent-mindedly, handing her a list of names for detention that evening.

Hecate paused, wondering if she had misread the situation. “The friendship trap… on Miss Hubble and Miss Hallow.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m sure they’ll work it out themselves.” Ada dismissed her quickly. 

Hecate stopped, trying to decide if she wanted to push the matter further. She decided against it in favor of asking Pippa what she thought about it during their call tonight. After Pippa’s whirlwind trip to Cackle’s after Agatha’s attack she’d insisted on calling Hecate once a week for a while just to check in. 

Their calls quickly became a part of both of their routines and Hecate was surprised to find that Pippa was all too understanding of her hesitation when she mentioned coming to Pentangle’s for the summer workshops a few weeks into their calls. At the first sign of discomfort Pippa quickly dismissed herself with a “Of course you need a break after everything that happened. Please, don’t even think about it.” So at least for now, she and Pippa were talking, and for the first time in years she had someone to talk to about problems like this.

* * *

“I’ve always disfavored spells like that for student discipline but I know many administrators who do use them. I don’t think it’s particularly uncommon” Pippa said thoughtfully after Hecate asked for her opinion on the friendship trap Ada had placed on Ethel and Mildred. “But, and I hope you don’t mind me saying so, it sounds like you’re not okay with it.”

“Of course I’m not okay with it.” Hecate replied defensively.

“I have to say I’m surprised.” Pippa admitted sheepishly. “I know we haven’t spoken all that much about our work but I just assumed you would be… a traditionalist.”

“I suppose in many ways I am.” Hecate acknowledged. “But this just… seems a bit far.”

“If you feel that way you should tell Ada.” Pippa encouraged. “If my Deputy disagreed with the way I was handling a discipline matter I would want her to tell me.”

Hecate shook her head. “I can’t.” When Pippa’s eyebrow raised in response she sighed and continued. “Do you remember when Alma Cackle put a friendship trap on Rowena Grimsbane and I in fifth term?” 

“Only vaguely.” Pippa admitted. “I remember Rowena complaining about it more than anything.”

Hecate cringed. “I guess that would make sense. You were close with her and her friends.”

“I guess.” Pippa shrugged. “Rowena and her friends wanted me in their group so I spent time with them but I wasn’t close with any of them.” When Hecate didn’t respond she tried asking a question instead. “Why did Alma do that anyway? Neither of you were particularly ill-behaved.”

“We fought… quite often.” Hecate admitted, unwilling to make eye contact. 

“I guess I remember that. I just don’t really remember what it was about.” Pippa sounded perplexed.

“You, mostly.” Hecate found herself saying before she could stop herself, blushing furiously as she realized what she had admitted. 

Pippa’s eyes widened in shock. “Me?”

“It was nothing.” Hecate tried to reassure her.

Pippa shook her head. “Why didn’t i know about this?”

Hecate flinched at that, desperately trying to figure out a way to stop this conversation from happening. “Rowena thought you were too good for me and played some rather… unkind pranks on me to try and make me see that was true. It was mostly silly schoolgirl arguments really. Nothing to fret about.”

“But it wasn’t silly… not if it hurt you.” Pippa said earnestly, trying to figure out how to help, what to say to prove that Hecate was the only one she’d wanted to be friends with. It was then that she remembered something. “Your hair. Around the same time you- you cut your hair. But you- you didn’t- you wouldn’t- have.”

When Hecate couldn’t seem to find a way to respond Pippa spoke again. “Hecate did Rowena Grimsbane cut your hair?”

“Technically it was Hester Wood.” Hecate admitted, suddenly very interested in the wood beams on the ceiling.

“And you didn’t think I needed to know that?” Pippa asked incredulously. “You didn’t think it was my business that my friends hurt you like that? That they would-”

It was then that the fire alarm went off, causing Morgana to jump from her place on the settee, clearly irritated at being awoken by the alarm for a second time that day.

“Pippa… I have to go...” Hecate looked at her anxiously, remembering the last time she’d run off on Pippa during an emergency.

“No, it’s okay.” Pippa assured her quickly. “Go make sure things are okay. But call me back?”

Hecate nodded before transferring to the main corridor.

* * *

When Hecate materialized she was surrounded by the rush of girls coming down the stairs in their pajamas as they made their way out of the castle. She looked around carefully, making sure no girls were straying into other hallways or were too scared to make their way outside on their own, until she found Ada.

“Excellent work, Hecate. Quite the surprise. And I especially appreciated the eerie glow emanating from that first-year window. You’ve surpassed yourself.” the older witch praised with delight.

Hecate shook her head, trying to process what was happening. Looking back to the students on the stairs she noticed Clarice Twigg and Beatrice Bunch looking particularly distressed. When the girls saw their form mistress looking fiercely toward them they tried to flag her down.

“Help!” Clarice cried anxiously. Beatrice followed quickly after exclaiming, “Our bedroom’s on fire!” 

Miss Cackle rolled her eyes at the dramatics of the younger girls. “Glad to see you’re getting into the spirit, but we really don’t have to be quite so dramatic.”

It was then that Hecate gathered her bearings and stepped forward with a panicked whisper. “I didn’t organize a drill.”

Ada looks at her, clearly confused. “You didn’t?”

“I didn’t.” Hecate confirms adamantly before transferring both of them to the room in question.

The pair worked quickly to put out the fire that had engulfed the first years’ room. Between the two of them they made quick work of extinguishing the flames but there was little they could do tonight about the damage. 

Ada shook her head in disappointment as she surveyed the damage. “As if we haven’t got bigger frogs to fry.”

“This first year is proving to be quite the handful.” Hecate replied tiredly, her hands pressed firmly against her thighs, still in their casting position just in case the fire managed to reignite.

“Quite.” Ada agreed. “Will you ask Dimity to ensure the girls get back to bed and bring Miss Bunch, Miss Hallow, and Miss Twigg to my office so we can discuss exactly how this happened?”

* * *

Two hours later Hecate made her way to her rooms, ready to collapse but determined to make good on her promise to call Pippa back. Sitting down at her mirror she clearly spoke her friend’s name and waited for her answer. 

“Hecate!” Pippa exclaimed upon answering and seeing her friend’s tired face. “I was getting worried. What happened?”

“Sybil Hallow managed to set fire to her bedroom while trying to make up for a missed class in spell science.” Hecate began, taking the time to answer Pippa's questions as she explained the incident further. 

“Oh Hiccup.” Pippa sympathized. “I’m so sorry, but I’m glad everyone is okay.” 

“One good thing did come out of all of this.” Hecate suddenly remembered. “Sybil had a panic attack during the fire and I guess Ethel and Mildred helped her get out so they managed to break the friendship trap on their own.”

“That is good news.” Pippa breathed a sigh of relief for at least one of her friend’s concerns being behind her. It was then that something occurred to her. “You hated Rowena Grimsbane and from what you told me earlier with good reason. How did you manage to break the trap?”

“I convinced Miss Bat to remove it.” Hecate admitted with a smirk.

Pippa laughed. “She has always had a soft spot for you.”

Hecate nodded, looking down at her hands in embarrassment. “I think she just understood that I didn’t quite… fit in with the other girls in our year. Or anywhere really.”

“Hey.” Pippa stopped her, “I didn’t get a chance to say this earlier but I want you to know you can tell me things.”

Hecate looked perplexed. “I thought… isn’t that what we’ve been doing? Talking?”

“Yes of course.” Pippa nodded. “But I just… I wish I’d known what happened with Rowena and Hester before today. And I don’t want to make you tell me anything you don’t want to... I just want to make sure you know you can tell me anything you do want to. That I’m not going to judge you for things that happened when we were girls. I’d just like to know things like that… so I can understand you better.” 

Hecate managed a smile at her friends’ rambling, managing a quiet “I’d like that too.” before she could think too much about the things she could never tell Pippa. 


	5. As a Part of Another’s Whim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S2: E3 "Ethel Everywhere"

She really didn’t have time for this.

The founding stone was still missing and she’d promised Ada she’d find it this morning before lunch. A feat that was becoming increasingly impossible the longer she sat on the floor of her bathroom willing both her stomach and her nerves to calm down. Being incapacitated for over an hour due to something as trivial as a simple transportation spell wasn’t an option. She had much bigger problems at play here than her trivial feelings about this morning's events. Like what would happen to her if the magic council were to find out the stone is missing and close the academy? Or perhaps more importantly, what would happen to her magic if she remained confined there without a founding stone? 

As a witch who had spent her entire life living and working in a school she was used to the chaos and crises that inherently came from the rather volatile combination of hormonal changes and unskilled magic. She of all people should be able to handle this. But when Hecate had felt the all-too familiar twinge in her stomach of being transferred against her will she had been transported somewhere else entirely. 

* * *

It was easy to remember the first time it happened. It was the first day of summer holiday after her confinement to Cackle’s and she’d been desperately looking forward to it. Sure, she was confined to the grounds, but she could finally take a break from feeling like everyone was talking about her. She’d been eating breakfast in the courtyard when she felt the violent tug of a transportation spell that she couldn’t stop and suddenly found herself in the Headmistress’ office facing Mrs. Cackle, her father, and a woman she’d never met before.

In short order Alma Cackle had explained that Mistress Broomhead had been hired by her father to tutor her during the summer months with a reminder from her father that “The least you can do for the magical community is not be an incompetent burden on one of the greatest witching academies in Britain.” and instructions from both her father and Mrs.Cackle to “consider this a kindness” and to “not waste the opportunity you’ve been given.”

Hecate had quickly gotten used to these summons. Frankly, being transferred at her tutor’s will was relatively low on her list of concerns about Mistress Broomhead’s methods, and as she’d been reminded many times since their introduction this was an opportunity she should be grateful for.

It wasn’t until the middle of fifth form when she’d been suddenly transferred while practicing tandem broomstick waterskiing with Pippa Pentangle that she'd been confronted with the abnormality of it all. 

Suddenly the two of them were on the floor of Alma Cackle’s office, a mess of limbs and broomsticks. Realizing the rather compromising position she and Pippa were now in she quickly stood up, righting their broomsticks in the process, and touched her hand to her forehead with a flustered. “Well met, Mistress Broomhead.”

“Who is this?” Her tutor had spat angrily, clearly upset at an intruder in what she expected to be a private meeting with her pupil.

Pippa, finally gathering her bearings stood awkwardly in front of the severe woman, placing her own hand on her forehead with an awkward. “Pippa Pentangle, well met.” 

“You will leave now Miss Pentangle.” Mistress Broomhead dismissed her harshly, opening the door from where she stood. Pippa looked at Hecate anxiously, taking her broomstick from her friend’s hand before reluctantly leaving the pair in the office. 

It had been hours before Hecate had gotten back to her room that night and when she opened the door it was to a pair of gangly arms wrapping around her and golden curls in her face. “Are you okay?” Pippa had asked anxiously, her brown eyes shining with tears. Once Hecate had assured her she was and she’d closed the door behind her Pippa continued her questions. “Who was that?”

“My summer tutor.” Hecate responded nervously, folding her arms across her chest.

“Why would she be here at Cackle’s?” Pippa asked, clearly confused. Hecate having a summer tutor wasn’t particularly surprising. Many of the more traditional magical families invested in their children’s education outside of regular school hours but they were widely considered a private manner. A private magical tutor being involved with a child’s standard education in any way was highly irregular.

Hecate shrugged her shoulders, feigning confusion herself. “Something about my studies this summer. It’s really nothing to worry about.”

Pippa sat down on Hecate’s bed and looked up at her friend thoughtfully. “Does that happen to you a lot?” Pippa finally asked.

“What?” Hecate asked, not sure what her friend was referring to. 

“Being transferred like that.” Pippa elaborated. “Normally when people transfer someone they can decide whether they’d like to go. But when I tried to stop it… I couldn’t?”

Hecate blanched. She had become so used to Mistress Broomhead’s use of forced transfer spells as a threat that it hadn’t even occurred to her that Pippa would notice. “Um… no.” She tried to lie, immediately knowing that her voice had given her away if her face hadn’t already. Admitting defeat she sat down next to her friend, waiting for what she expected to be another rant on the depravity of hanging onto things like this in the name of tradition. 

But Pippa wasn’t worried about the reasons behind it, she was concerned with how okay her friend seemed with what had happened. “That’s not okay.” Pippa said quietly, resting her head on Hecate’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t have to be used to something like that.”

She snorted softly, trying to hold back the laugh at Pippa’s idealized evaluation of what she deserved.

“I’m serious Hiccup.” She’d insisted. “It’s not right. There’s a reason they teach us transference the way they do. You’re supposed to have a choice.”

* * *

Coming out of her thoughts of Hecate once again recounted her stilted interaction with Ada and Marigold after being transferred, evidence of her intrusion in Marigold’s space still in hand. She’d barely processed Ada’s question  _ Found what you’re looking for? _ as her brain had raced in a thousand different directions trying to process what had just happened. She’d had to swallow the bile in the back of her throat as she tried to manage a reasonable response before settling on what seemed easiest. The disappointment in Ada’s eyes as she’d chided her for her behavior,  _ Then I think you owe Marigold an apology, _ was seared into her memory and she honestly couldn’t remember managing to make a reasonable apology. But Marigold had taken back her things and she’d been left in the hall to figure out what to do next.

Apparently next was this. Quickly losing what little contents she had her stomach and subsequently anchoring her hand to the towel rack above her as she’d needed something - anything really - to help her feel grounded in the space.

She couldn’t help but wonder if she would have reacted like this if it had been someone else, if it hadn’t been Ada that had transferred her like this. But Ada knew about Mistress Broomhead. She’d seen first hand how this had hurt her before, and she’d done it anyway.

* * *

It had been Ada’s third year as Headmistress when Mistress Broomhead had been sent by the magic council to conduct the inspection of the school. They’d made it through the day with relatively little commotion and Ada had called the faculty together to discuss the recommended changes from the report. Hecate had been in the middle of a rousing debate about the academic merits of increasing chanting revision sessions and herbology training with Gwen and Ada when she suddenly found herself in her lab face to face with Mistress Broomhead.

Out of habit Hecate had quickly righted herself at the sight of her mentor, standing tall but silently as she waited to be spoken to, after all,  _ a bright young witch like yourself should know to only speak when spoken to _ .

“You should thank me Hecate.” Mistress Broomhead’s harsh voice suddenly filled her ears. “I went easy on you. Anything less than a passable score on your teaching would reflect badly on me. But make no mistake, you are an embarrassment.” 

Hecate flinched slightly as the feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy she had become so accustomed to as a child quickly flooded to the surface. When it became clear she was expected to give some sort of response she’d managed to whisper “Yes Mistress Broomhead.” as she stared at the floor.

The older witch smiled knowingly before placing her hand under Hecate’s chin and pressing up firmly to make her eyes meet her own. “Of course I could put a word in with The Great Wizard that you don’t seem to fit in here at Cackle’s.” She had drawled viciously, not hearing the door to the lab open slightly as she tormented her former charge. “It would be so much easier for everyone to have you transferred to Wormwood’s. A place where your skill set and discipline could at least be put to good use.” 

“I would rather remain here Mistress Broomhead.” Hecate whispered, hoping that her lack of compliance could be offset by polite formality.

Ada’s eyes widened as she listened from the doorway. When Hecate had disappeared without warning during their meeting she had assumed her colleague’s emotions had gotten the best of her and that she’d be back shortly. When she hadn’t returned Ada decided to check in with her to see if there was anything she could do to help and with a quick discovery and transference spell she found herself outside of the potion’s classroom. She’d moved to open the door but stopped when she heard the voice of their inspector that they had assumed to be long gone.

“You listen to me and you listen well.” Broomhead had quickly closed the nominal space left between her and her pupil, grabbing Hecate’s wrist firmly in her hand. “You are a disgrace to your family name and you owe everything you’ve achieved here to me. If I want you moved, you’ll move.”

It was then that the door opened.Still confused about what she had walked in on but certain that it was beyond time to step in, Ada interjected fiercely. “I don’t know who you think you are coming in here and threatening my staff but as Headmistress of Cackle’s Academy I will not tolerate it. It’s time for you to leave.”

At that Mistress Broomhead had turned, eyes fiery with anger.“That is not staff.” she’d replied angrily, pointing in Hecate’s direction.” That is nothing more than a burden on your school. A mistake your mother made that you have to deal with.”

“You’ve completed your inspection and I’d like you to go.” Ada repeated firmly.

“Very well.” Broomhead spat angrily before leaving Hecate with a final reminder as she prepared to transfer home. “This will never be over.”

As soon as Hecate felt her wrist fall to her side as Broomhead dematerialized the sobs she’d been holding back started. With a quick discovery spell Ada confirmed their inspector was gone before swiftly moving to help her colleague. “Hecate, what happened? Did she hurt you?” Ada asked, carefully guiding her to the nearest chair. 

Hecate shook her head as she wiped her eyes. “No… I’m sorry. I’m fine.”

“You certainly are not.” Ada replied, kneeling next to the young woman. “What happened?”

“Mistress Broomhead was my summer tutor after… you know.” Hecate had always tried to avoid talking about her punishment with Ada more than absolutely necessary. “I don’t have… particularly fond memories of working with her.”

“The scars on your arms?” Ada asked knowingly, Hecate’s eyes meeting her own in absolute terror. “I saw them a few months ago, while you were trying to salvage those cauldrons the second years all but destroyed. I recognized them as whipping hex scars but I didn’t think it was my place to ask.”

Hecate remained silent, considering all of the ways Broomhead had left her mark on her. How they were just another part of her past that she could never truly be free from.

Eventually Ada spoke again. “Hecate, I wouldn't ask if I didn’t feel that I needed to know, but Mistress Broomhead is known for her cruelty. So I feel the need to repeat, did she hurt you?”

“No.” Hecate replied softly but firmly. “Not physically.”

Ada nodded, knowing she needed to ensure Hecate that she believed her. “Can you tell me what happened just now?” 

Hecate spoke carefully as she explained what had happened. Revealing the things she felt were necessary to explain her sudden disappearance and clear emotional distress but strategically avoiding broaching the heavily implied questions that had been asked about the visible marks that memorialized her past with Broomhead.

“She used forced transfers to control you.” Ada finished for her, eyes full of sympathy. “Well, I can’t make her any better but I can assure you that I for one have never seen the appeal or need of transferring someone like that.” She’d said with a warm smile before moving up from her kneeling position. “I can also offer you some tea to calm your nerves.”

* * *

She’d tried to convince herself that Ada must have forgotten. After all, it had been over fifteen years and she shouldn’t expect anyone else to remember her own trauma as clearly as she does. But it just makes it worse. The thought that Ada could witness the way Broomhead treated her, as her property, and not remember it somehow hurts more than if she’d done it in spite of remembering.

She briefly considers mirroring Pippa before realizing she doesn’t want to talk about it. Asking Pippa to take time off in the middle of the school day to sit at her mirror with her when she wasn’t even sure if she could explain why she’d called in the first place seemed ridiculous. 

_Besides_ _I should be able to handle this_.  


So she stays where she is, back pressed firmly against the hard tile wall, hand white from clinging tightly to the towel rail, eyes screwed shut to block out the world around her, and she handles it. Alone. 


	6. As a Witch in a Wizard’s World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S2:E4 "The Extraordinary Esper Vespertilio"

It’s infuriating really. The way Mildred Hubble continually manages to charm her way into gaining access to opportunities and privileges that Hecate would have killed for at her age. Deep down she knows that these are advantages that young witches should have been afforded all along and it’s certainly not Mildred’s fault that she keeps ending up in situations like this. So she tries, she really,  _ really,  _ tries not to hold it against the girl. 

But this afternoon when she’d witnessed Mildred Hubble not only wield a magical staff in front of The Great Wizard himself but convince him that only giving wizards “such cool stuff” was clearly outdated and unfair she really wasn’t sure how she managed to make it out of the room - let alone out of earshot - without completely losing it.

As soon as she’d made sure all the girls were alright after the vanishment incident (and doled out the appropriate detentions for the evening) she’d quickly transferred herself to her rooms, quite certain she’d surpassed her limit on keeping the all too painful memories the day had brought up at bay.

* * *

“It’s getting worse.” Pippa observed as her friend paced anxiously around her dormitory. The air around them filled with the entire contents of Pippa’s bookcase, the result of a haywire levitation spell caused by a buildup of excess magical energy in Hecate’s body. “You need to tell Mrs. Cackle.” 

“What the hell am I supposed to tell her?” Hecate asked angrily.

“That you need to take a break. Maybe you could go home for a bit?” Pippa suggested nervously.

Hecate laughed darkly as she stopped to face her friend. “Go home to what? For what? Which of the things you know about my father makes you think that all of this-” she stops to gesture at the books swirling aimlessly around the room “would be made better by going home?”

Pippa sighed as she pushed a book out of the way so she could see her friend’s face again. “I’m sorry, that was a careless suggestion. I’m just… worried about you.” 

Hecate smiled sadly with a nod. “I know it’s scary but it’s been happening my whole life. It’s just something I have to deal with.”

Pippa motions for her friend to sit next to her on her bed and pulls her hands into her own. “Let’s see if we can calm your magic down shall we?” 

A week later she finds a box on her desk. It’s made of mahogany and is covered in intricate carvings of herbs and flowers. She was examining the box carefully when she heard a quick knock at her door as it opened.

“Did you open it?” Pippa’s high-pitched voice filled her ears suddenly, causing her to jump. 

“I was just about to.” Hecate said with a small smirk. “I take it this means that I should attribute this unexpected presentation to you.”

Pippa nodded happily. “It’s an early birthday present.” 

Hecate rolled her eyes. Pippa had already given her several early birthday presents this year - as she did every year - but something about this felt different. Carefully she removed the lid to the box and peered inside. Carefully nestled in a bed of dark velvet was “A quill?” When Pippa’s smile got even wider she looked back at the box thoughtfully. After a few minutes of thought, accentuated by slight giggles from Pippa she finally gives up. “I know you have a fondness for regality in all things but this all seems a bit extravagant for a quill.”

Pippa just smiles and picks up the quill, placing it firmly in Hecate’s hands and quietly chanting a concealment reversal incantation. The quill transformed into a long intricately crafted glass rod with something that looked like a handle on one end and a dull point at the other.

“Don’t get me wrong it’s lovely and beautiful and I appreciate the thought but... I’m sorry. What is this?” Hecate asks, examining the object carefully.

“It’s a staff.”

She drops it immediately but Pippa catches it and gently places it on her friend’s desk with a carefully timed levitation spell.

“Pippa it’s against The Code.” Hecate whispers furiously as she turns anxiously toward her bedroom door, hoping to goddess no one would ever find out she’d been in possession of an item so strictly prohibited in a witching academy.

Pippa rolled her eyes slightly but focused on the problem at hand. “I know that but I think you should try using one.” When Hecate stares at her as if she’s grown a second head she tries again. “Wizards have been using staffs for centuries to help control magical outbursts like the ones you’ve been having. Why shouldn’t you have access to a tool that could help you just because you’re not a man?”

“Of all the ludicrous suggestions Pippa.” Hecate snapped angrily. “Even if it helps I can’t just start walking around Cackle’s with a staff.”

Pippa shook her head. “Of course not. But you could use it to help control your magical output when you’re trying to burn off the excess magic that’s been building up. Perhaps preventing some of the more… regrettable incidents you’ve had lately.” She argued pointedly, clearly referencing the fire Hecate had set in the woods earlier that week by materializing there with an overcharged transportation spell. Pippa had been able to help her put it out quickly and had recruited the help of Autumn Foxglove to restore the health of the affected trees but the incident had left Hecate visibly shaken.

Hecate sat quietly, clearly considering the merits of the argument she’d been presented with. Eventually she whispered, “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Of course not.” Pippa assured her, picking up the staff and handing it to Hecate. “It’s our secret. I promise.”

And Pippa had been right, it worked. Using the staff Hecate was able to channel more of her magic into spells without it resulting in unanticipated, potentially disastrous side effects. Pippa worked with her to identify the spells that were the most efficient use of excess energy and it quickly became a part of their routine. After classes Hecate and Pippa would take a walk and Hecate would discharge the buildup of excess magical energy while Pippa stood guard, just in case a teacher or another student were to come across their path. 

Suddenly Hecate found herself living a different life. Not having to worry about when her next magical outburst would be or how much damage she would do trying to discharge her magical buildup meant that she could finally relax. Pippa’s gift had given her more than just a way to handle her wayward magic, it made her feel safe at Cackle’s for the first time in years. 

It was months later on the last day of fifth term when she was transported to the headmistress’s office that the weight of it all came crashing down. Of course she had been expecting the summons itself. It was customary that on the last day of term - while the other girls packed their things - Mistress Broomhead would arrive to discuss her plans for Hecate’s summer studies with her and Mrs. Cackle. What she hadn’t expected was to materialize in front of her summer tutor who was holding the staff in her hands.

“Miss Hardbroom would you care to explain why we found this in your room?” Alma Cackle asked firmly, her disappointment clear in her voice.

Hecate couldn’t breathe and she couldn’t speak, so she just stared at the staff in her tutor’s hands. Hoping against all hope that this wasn’t really happening.

Alma sighed tiredly before speaking again. “As I’m sure you know, Hecate, the use of a staff by a witch is strictly forbidden in the Witches’ Code. I am not in a position to let something like this slide.”

“Not to mention that such a flagrant disregard for the rules is an explicit violation of the agreement she’s made with me and her father and fails to show the inexorable gratitude she owes you for the place she’s been allowed to maintain at the academy.” Her tutor finally spoke, venom dripping with every word.

“Yes Mistress Broomhead.” Hecate nodded, standing up straighter at the realization of what the consequences of her actions would be before turning to the headmistress. “I’m sorry Mrs. Cackle. My judgement was appalling and I regret that this indiscretion reflects poorly on you and your support. I accept whatever punishment you and Mistress Broomhead see fit.”

“You are to destroy it.” Mistress Broomhead said sharply. When Hecate didn’t respond she levitated the glass object into her pupil’s hands. “Now.”

Hecate nodded, moving slowly to the hearth across the office and placing the staff in the already lit flames before beginning to clearly chant. “Fire light and fire bright, your flames shall reach their highest height. I put this now within your site, without remorse nor intent to slight. Take this staff with fire white, you shall rid yourself of my blight.”

Immediately the flames engulfed the glass staff forming fiery hands that broke the long glass rod into smaller and smaller pieces until all that was left was a pile of burnt sand at the bottom of the heart. Hecate was determined to not allow her face to show it but as she watched her own magic break the tool that had kept her safe for the last several months her heart broke with it.

“You may go Miss Hardbroom.” Mrs. Cackle eventually dismissed her. “Mistress Broomhead and I will speak with you later this evening after the other students have left about your timetable for the summer months as well as your punishment.” 

In her rush to escape to her room before the already forming tears fell Hecate didn’t notice Pippa hiding behind a pillar outside of Mrs. Cackle’s office, tears shining on her cheeks and brown eyes full of determination.

* * *

“That’s good really.” Pippa said thoughtfully when Hecate had finished recounting the events of Mildred’s encounter with The Great Wizard this afternoon. “That The Great Wizard is changing his mind about these beyond outdated gender roles.” She clarified quickly, not wanting to imply any of the not as good parts of the tale she’d been told were things the thought were beneficial.

“I suppose so.” Hecate said tiredly. “It’s just quite hard to see things changing now that…”

“You could’ve benefited greatly from as a girl?” Pippa finishes for her when she trailed off.

Hecate nodded slightly, not sure how much she wanted to rehash the past on this particular topic.

Sensing her hesitation Pippa tried to reassure her that she had a say in their conversations. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” 

“I just… I wish I could have it back.” Hecate finally admits, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “It was a lovely gift from you and I’ve thought about it often over the years.” 

“While I appreciate the sentiment I anticipate that you missed it for reasons far beyond the sentimentality of a simple gift.” Pippa said knowingly.

Hecate couldn’t manage to stifle her awkward laughter at that comment and found herself agreeing. “That is likely an accurate assessment.” 

Sensing that they’ve likely exhausted the discussion that Hecate is interested in having on this topic Pippa skillfully redirects their conversation back toward a discussion of the Cackle’s students’ surprise that their chanting professor was in fact one of the most famous enchantresses in the world. 

They’re so caught up in their conversation that it’s eventually Pippa who notices the time and reminds Hecate that she has other duties that evening. “When is detention?” She asks with a smirk.

Hecate sighs as she checks the timepiece around her neck. “Not for another thirty minutes but I should probably make my way down there sooner rather than later. I left the lab in a regrettable state after a rather infuriating revision session with the fourth years this afternoon.” 

Pippa nods in understanding. “Wouldn’t want the girls to think your standards are slipping.” a healthy dose of mirth in her tone. “Especially not the troublemakers.”

“Goodnight Pippa.” Hecate said as she rolled her eyes, giving her friend a small wave before transferring downstairs.

“I think it will be.” Pippa replied quietly, a gleam of excitement in her eyes.

* * *

When Hecate gets to the potions lab she’s so focused on tidying up the room before her pupils arrive that she almost doesn’t notice the mahogany box sitting squarely in the center of her desk. 

Wide-eyed she slowly reached for the box, quite certain that it couldn’t be what she thought it was. But she’d recognize the feeling of the intricate carvings under her fingers anywhere and when she opens the box to reveal a long quill sitting on a bed of velvet she has to bite down on her lower lip to keep herself from crying.

Looking at her watch that reads fourteen minutes to eight she decides she has enough time to make sure. She takes the quill out of the box and whispers the incantation Pippa had taught her so many years ago to reverse the concealment charm she’d placed and she’s suddenly holding her glass staff for the first time in nearly thirty years.

Her thoughts are suddenly racing.  _ How is this possible? I didn’t tell Pippa about the staff until long after she’d left Cackle’s. She couldn’t have possibly reversed the chant without hearing it herself.  _ Eventually, with a significant weight attached to it she realizes that it really didn’t matter how Pippa had managed to get her staff back.  _ She kept it for me all this time, after everything I put her through? _

Holding it firmly in her hands she quietly incants an invisibility charm - something Pippa had quickly determined to be one of the most effective spells at calming her wayward adolescent magic - directed at the entirely uncharacteristic mess she’d left on her desk earlier in the day. She’s instantly taken aback. The way it centers all of the chaotic magical energies she’s grown accustomed to, which Hecate now recognizes as mostly anxiety-driven, feels absolutely magnificent. It reminds her of Pippa and she’s instantly ashamed of the feeling in her stomach when she realizes it feels like home.

It’s then that she hears a timid “Miss Hardbroom?” and realizes she must have missed the door opening. 

With a single movement she quickly transforms the staff back into a quill she turns to her desk, cheeks slightly flushed as she mentally adds this to the ever-growing list of all too private information Mildred Hubble knows about her.

Mildred walks towards her nervously, clearly she’s not sure what to say because she settles on the obvious. “I’m here for detention.”

With a sharp “Fine.” and a well placed question, “Is something the matter?” she’s able to signal to her pupil that this was something she’d prefer not to talk about. 

Looking over her shoulder she sees Mildred’s eyes bright with wonder and a grin on her face as she responds all too knowingly. “Nothing, Miss Hardbroom. Nothing at all” before settling into her seat for the evening’s detention.

Thankful that Mildred at least knew when not to push she turned to her pupil with a barely-there smile. “While your choice to disguise and harbor a fugitive in the school all day was regrettable, you handled yourself well with The Great Wizard today Mildred Hubble. You stood up for something you believed in and in the process became a better witch.”

As Mildred tried to stammer a response the potion’s classroom door opened signaling the arrival of the three other attendees for the night’s detention. 

“Hurry up girls, you’re already late. There’s no reason to make me wait any longer to give you your instructions.” Hecate said sharply, turning to face the classroom as the three girls scrambled to the closest available seats. “This evening, as the four of you may have already guessed, we will be revising the proper and appropriate uses of a vanishing potion.”


	7. As a Witch Without Her Powers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S2:E7 "Hollow Wood"

Hecate and Ada had spent the better part of an hour talking with Esmerelda about her plans for the future. If Esmerelda’s unannounced appearance at the school that morning wasn't enough of an indication that the girl was struggling, the uncharacteristic tears that appeared the moment Ada asked how she’d been finding things had put them both on high alert. Esmerelda Hallow had been one of their most resilient and optimistic pupils, always considering mistakes as an opportunity to learn and improve in the future. Of course, the trauma of having your magic stolen by a woman you believed to be a trusted teacher was hardly comparable to a low mark on a procrastinated spell science project.

They’d done their best to reassure her. Hecate outlining each of all of the skills she’d learned as a part of her witching training that didn’t require magic to put to use. Ada suggested contacts she could connect with that had experience with both the magical and non-magical worlds. While Hecate knew that their advice wouldn’t be enough for Esmerelda to move on from her magical life she’d thought that they had made real progress in helping her see that she had opportunities available to her in the non-magical world. So when Esmerelda asked if there was a role for her at Cackle’s she felt herself bristle in apprehension.

“You want a… job?” She stammered awkwardly, trying to hide her objections.

At Esmerelda’s desperate nod Ada stepped in, trying to reassure her former student in a way she anticipated Hecate would not . “If it were down to me the answer would be yes in a heartbeat.” She said, pointedly looking at her deputy before turning her focus back to her student. “But there are rules and a magical tradition we adhere to.”

“I understand.” Esmerelda tried to hide her disappointment by avoiding eye contact with either of them.

Ada “Why don’t you catch up with Sybil, and I’ll discuss it with Miss Hardbroom?”

“Oh, thank you so much!” Esmerelda brightened immediately, taking her leave to track down her sister as directed. 

As soon as the door shut behind her Hecate crossed the room after Ada who had followed Esmerelda out. “You know she can’t work here.” She 

“There might be a precedent, something.” Ada insisted, haphazardly flipping through the school’s reference copy of The Witches Code. 

“Ada, I’m not talking about statues and rules.” She stopped her gently. “I mean it would be torture for Esmerelda.” 

Ada sighed, unwilling to meet her Deputy’s gaze. “That girl gave up her magic for me, and all I’ve done is let her down.”

“The only person to blame for this is Agatha.” Hecate corrected her, glancing briefly at the painting of Ada and her sister trying to ignore the churning in her stomach she felt each time she made eye contact with the image that had once been Ada’s - and her own - prison.

After several moments of thought Ada closed the book. “You’re right. Allowing Esmerelda to stay here rather than helping her to move on from this would be forcing her to relive the incident indefinitely.” 

Wincing at the choice of words but grateful that she’d understood the point Hecate clenched her jaw tightly. “I’m glad you agree.”

“I’ll tell her this afternoon. Let’s give her some time with her sisters first.” Ada said, moving back to her desk as a means of dismissal to her Deputy.

Hecate nodded, and moved to leave before stopping suddenly and turning back to face Ada. “Let me talk to her...before you tell her no. I’d like to try and help her understand why.”

Ada nodded in understanding. “I think that’s an excellent idea Hecate.” 

* * *

Esmerelda came for tea in her quarters.

“It’s brighter in here than I expected.” Esmerelda remarked, looking around the room as her teacher prepared the tea.

Hecate smirked at the similarity of the comment to those she’d heard from nearly every other student that had been invited to her quarters for conversations that required more privacy or amenity than the potion’s lab or Ada’s office allowed for. 

“Really Esmerelda.” She chided teasingly. “You should know by the state of my lab that I prioritize aesthetics alongside organization and practicality.”

Esmerelda blushed as she took the tea from her former teacher’s outstretched hand. “Indeed.”

“Thank you for meeting with me Esmerelda. I know you would rather be spending time with your sisters while you’re here.” Hecate said, taking her seat across from Esmerelda.

“No!” Esmerelda protested before awkwardly clarifying. “I’m happy to meet with you. I’ve really missed you.”

Hecate smiled. “That’s very kind. I have missed you as well.”

“I thought you would be too disappointed to miss me.” Esmerelda admitted softly.

“Of course I’m not disappointed in you.” Hecate said firmly, setting her tea down on the table between them. “What happened was not your fault. You didn’t know what would happen and Agatha took advantage of that.” 

Esmerelda set her tea down as well, her hands shaking with the effort she’d been putting into staying calm. “I made a mistake. I made a mistake and now I don’t get to grow up to be a witch.”

“We’ve all made mistakes Esmerelda.” Hecate tried to comfort her. “And sometimes those mistakes have consequences that we have to learn to live with.” 

Esmerelda shook her head. “Not you.”

“I can assure you that that is not the case.” Hecate admitted with a sad smirk. 

Esmerelda’s eyes widened as she realized the position she’d put her teacher in. “I’m sorry that was…”

“It’s alright Esmerelda.” Hecate assured her gently. “I invited you here because I wanted you to have the chance to talk about this. There’s no judgement here.”

Esmerelda nodded, suddenly very interested in the intricately patterned rug under her shoes. “So you… you get it?” 

“While it’s certainly not pertinent to your situation that you know the details of my indiscretions I can assure you that I do - in fact - ‘get it’.” 

“My parents haven’t spoken to me since it happened.” Esmerelda admitted quietly, finally feeling like she could open up to someone. “I mean they have, but it’s always about mundane things like dinner or laundry. I just wish they would acknowledge that it happened.”

Hecate sighed. “It’s not strictly my place to tell you this but you deserve some honesty from the adults in your life right now. Miss Cackle is going to tell you that we cannot give you a position here at Cackle’s.”

“Is there anything I can do to change her mind?” Esmerelda asked, eyes glistening with tears once again..

Hecate shook her head with a sympathetic frown. “I want to assure you that it has nothing to do with your qualifications or your ability to be useful here.” She paused to hand Esmerelda a conjured handkerchief. “We want you to have the opportunity to move on from this Esmerelda. Staying here, where it happened, will only mean you have to face that moment again and again.”

“I’m so sorry.” Esmerelda apologized, wiping furiously at the tears she’d been unable to hold back. “You’ve been so kind and I’m blubbering like an idiot.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Hecate assured her gently. “You are allowed to be upset and you certainly don’t need to hide it here.”

“It doesn’t feel like it will ever get easier.”

Hecate nodded knowingly. “I know, but it will.”

* * *

Hecate had hoped that by retiring to her quarters early for the evening she would finally be able to do something about the stress headache that had been building all day. Unfortunately those hopes were dashed when she saw her mirror notifications flashing in the lower left corner: _Pippa Pentangle - 11 Missed Calls | 5 Messages_. 

Hecate sighed, debating whether she could wait until tomorrow to return the calls. Advocating for why one of her favorite students should not be permitted to return to Cackle’s for her own emotional well-being had taken quite a toll on her own. Eventually she worked up the courage to ask if whatever she had to talk about could wait but when she picked up her maglet she saw she already had a message waiting from Pippa: _I need to talk to you. It’s important. Please call me as soon as you can._

Knowing she couldn’t ignore such an explicit request to speak tonight, Hecate sat down at the mirror to return Pippa’s calls.

“Hecate there you are!” Pippa smiled as she answered the call. “I need to talk to you.”

“I’d gathered that.” Hecate replied tiredly, the emotional exhaustion from the day starting to hit her in full force. “You know with the calls and the messages.”

“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have called so many times if it weren’t important.” She stopped as she registered the rather dark rings under Hecate’s eyes. “But we can talk if you’d like? You look like you’ve been through the wringer.”

Hecate shook her head. “Just get on with it.” She knew she was being overly curt, and that Pippa didn’t deserve it so she amended her statement with a rather forced, “Please.”

“It’s bad news, I'm afraid.” Pippa informed her gently before continuing. “My father called this evening. He wanted to ask me if I knew about what’s been going on at Cackle’s. He’d spoken with Eldwin Hallow who said something about a formal complaint being filed against Miss Cackle?”

Hecate rolled her eyes. The last thing she wanted to hear more about today was the Hallow family so she tried to dismiss the topic entirely. “Mr. and Mrs. Hallow have had it out for us since last term because they’re upset about Esmerelda losing her magic and it certainly didn’t help that I had Ethel spend the day foraging for potions ingredients in Hollow Wood so Eldwin wasn’t able to see her during his visit this afternoon.” 

“I’m sorry, you did _what?!_ ” Pippa asked, eyes wide with concern.

Hecate flinched at the accusatory tone, instantly switching to defensive mode. “She and several other second years spent last night involved in an absurd competition that ended with them completely depleting my stock of basic ingredients for replication spells. It was more than reasonable to expect them to replenish the ingredients they carelessly wasted.”

“Sure that's fair.” Pippa acknowledged, “But you can’t just send second year students to Hollow Wood unsupervised. They could’ve been seriously hurt.”

“Of course I didn’t send them unsupervised.” Hecate defended herself. “Miss Mould was with them.”

Pippa looked at her in disbelief. “Hecate you don’t trust that woman to lead an art class. You can’t possibly be suggesting that now you believe she’s qualified to protect children in an enchanted forest?”

“They were perfectly fine Pippa.” Hecate tried to reassure her.

Pippa stared back blankly. “Is that really all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say?” Hecate countered, her exhaustion apparent in her voice.

“I don’t know.” Pippa admitted sheepishly. ”I’m just... this is just concerning. Sending such young witches into Hollow Wood for ingredients is… well honestly it’s a terrible lapse in judgement.”

“Yes! I’ve already been told that multiple times today. What do you want me to do about it now?” Hecate asked, throwing her hands in the air in surrender. “It was my understanding that the ingredients would be relatively simple to procure. They’re all back now anyway so I don’t see why you want-”

“Your understanding?” Pippa interrupted in disbelief, her voice now clearly betraying the anger she’d been trying to hide. “Honestly, Hecate. You talk about Hollow Wood as if you’ve never been there yourself. You know Hollow Wood is frightening even if it’s not dangerous. You are their teacher. You should’ve gone with them.”

“I couldn’t!” Hecate blurted out before realizing the implications of her admission. 

It was true, she couldn’t have accompanied the girls. The part of Hollow Wood the needed ingredients were in was just far enough outside the school’s grounds that she hadn’t been there since she was a second year herself. Normally she would have asked Ada to help her make arrangements to gather the ingredients but considering the circumstances sending the second years to replace the ingredients they’d ruined had seemed like a reasonable course of action. 

In the end her potential slip didn’t matter as Pippa quickly countered her, “Then you shouldn’t have sent them.” 

Hecate sighed as she tried to come up with a way to explain what had honestly been an error on her part in a way that didn’t make her feel entirely incompetent. “It just couldn’t wait. I needed the ingredients and I just couldn’t wait until someone else had the time to procure them-”

“Then you should have done it yourself!” Pippa cut her off. “Or are you too good for gathering now too?”

“Excuse me?” Hecate asked, confused at the sudden turn their argument was taking. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Pippa laughed softly as she shook her head in disbelief . “Oh you know it’s true Hecate. You’ve always thought you were better than everyone else. Back at school all the girls talked about how you were so ‘high and mighty’ with your advanced magic and your private tutoring sessions. Mrs. Cackle always making excuses for why you wouldn’t or couldn’t come to events. I never thought you were actually that type of witch but apparently now you think you’re too good to gather ingredients. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Of course.” Hecate frowned, her eyes suddenly much darker than before. “This all comes down to what is wrong with me.”

Pippa cringed as she realized that she’d gone way too far. “Hecate, that’s not what I-”

“No.” Hecate stopped her, hand clutching tightly to the timepiece at her chest. “You’ve made your opinions on this matter very clear. Since you’ve clearly already chosen to believe Eldwin Hallow’s assessment of the safety of my students today over my own then I don’t have anything further to say to you.”


	8. As a Director of Her Own Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S2:E8 "Miss Cackle's Birthday"

She didn’t sleep that night. Her fight with Pippa replaying in her mind kept her body from even approaching rest, her emotions fliting aimlessly between extremes before eventually settling into frustration with herself for bringing up such an easy topic for misunderstanding and anger that she couldn’t be honest with Pippa about why she’d sent the girls into the woods without her. When her alarm spell went off she was staring wide-eyed at the beam on the ceiling above her bed.

Unfortunately having a fight with Pippa didn’t quite constitute grounds for excusing herself from the day's activities so she got out of bed. A quick shower spell followed by an inconsequential selection of work clothing and twenty minutes spent on her hair and makeup at her vanity brought her to the most important part of any morning, preparing a brew for the day ahead. She quickly found some comfort in the familiarity of her meticulously organized cupboard above her kettle. The process of making tea always made her feel at ease. The careful selection of ingredients based on their properties - this morning’s selections including ginger for increased circulation, nettle to fight fatigue, and lavender for stress relief - with specific attention to proportions for an ideal balance in both taste and effectiveness played directly to her skill set.

When she was satisfied with the steep she strained the leaves, briefly hesitating before sighing and reaching into the back of the cupboard to pull out an unmarked black bottle. Once again she’d be starting off her day by pouring a healthy dose of Wide Awake potion into her tea before settling into her favorite armchair to try and pull herself together for the day. However, unlike most mornings it wasn’t the spiked tea that pulled her out of her exhausted stupor. Instead it was the copy of today’s Witching Times materializing in front of her on the settee with the headline staring up at her in bold black lettering:  _ Crackles at Cackle’s - Cracks Begin to Show at School: Concerns have been raised about falling standards at Cackle’s Academy _ . 

The anonymous article, which Hecate was certain must have been written by Ursula Hallow herself, was a critical blow to the reputation of the school. The prose and title may have been unimaginative but their author certainly got the intended message across: Cackle’s Academy was an unsafe and unstable environment for young witches. It also served the rather irritating purpose of proving that Pippa was right in trying to warn her last night and that she shouldn’t have brushed her off so easily.

Cursing under her breath she gulped down the remainder of her tea - not wanting to waste any of the potion she now knew she’d need today more than ever - before transferring to the hall outside of Ada’s office.. The last thing she wanted to do first thing in the morning on Ada’s birthday was bring this to her attention, but it would be impossible to keep her from finding out about it. After all, even if nothing came of it Felicity Foxglove would certainly be asking them about it by the day’s end.

* * *

Ada’s reaction was more or less what she’d expected, agitated, but measured. Unwilling to admit defeat but keenly aware of the palpable threat the Hallow’s could be to her position and her school. When Hecate tried to discuss a strategy Ada had dismissed her easily. “Honestly, Hecate. There’s nothing to be done about it today. Besides it’s my birthday and I’d rather not spend the day dealing with this bureaucratic nonsense.”

She’d nodded in agreement before leaving Ada be, but truthfully she felt uneasy with the decision to ignore the article until and unless a formal complaint was made. Feeling her anxiety building she decided to transfer around the castle to burn off some of the excess magic that had built up over the past few days. She only needed a few more transfers to level out her energy when she heard a rather sharp voice call out “Miss Hardbroom!” as she materialized in the potion’s classroom she had expected would be empty.

“Ethel Hallow.” Hecate acknowledged sternly, trying to hide her surprise at her presence in the classroom. “While classes are not strictly cancelled I expected you to be involved in the celebrations for Miss Cackle’s birthday along with the other second years.”

Ethel sneered before launching into an elaborate tirade about “performance quality” and “professional work ethics” that ended with a rather confusing request for a private lesson since she was “the only student that took her studies seriously enough to show up”.

Hecate sighed. The faculty had agreed to give students involved in the presentation this afternoon off from classes to allow them to rehearse but her resolve to uphold that decision was quickly worn thin by Ethel’s persistence and her need for a distraction from her still mounting anxiety. So she suddenly found herself herding a gaggle of protesting second years from their rehearsals into her classroom under the guise of gravitas and curriculum as a means of personal avoidance.

The girls were well into their potion revisions when Dimity entered the classroom, carefully approaching her in an attempt to avoid gaining too much attention from the students in the room. “Miss Hardbroom, can I borrow you for a moment?” She asked before lowering her voice and adding, “It’s Miss Cackle.”

Hecate turned to her slightly, signaling to Dimity that she had her attention and could continue. “I’ve just seen her wandering around the grounds.”

“She has a lot on her mind.” Hecate dismissed her quickly, not wanting the events that were similarly weighing on her mind to overwhelm her in front of any students.

Dimity nodded and moved to leave before hesitating. “It’s just that…” She started before moving back within whispering distance. “She got a message on her maglet. Something tells me they weren’t wishing her a happy birthday.”

Taking note of the concern etched into Dimity’s features she resigned herself to handle this now rather than later. Facing the class she quickly announced “Girls, I need to run an errand.” before following Dimity outside.

As they reached the yard Dimity stopped her by gently placing her hand on Hecate’s forearm. “I don’t know if I should say, I probably shouldn’t since I technically only know because I was reading over her shoulder, but the message was from Mrs. Hallow.” 

“Of course it was.” Hecate cursed inwardly before regathering her resolve. “Thank you for telling me.” She dismissed her sincerely before heading across the plaza to join Ada on the bench Dimity had directed her toward.

The two sat quietly for several moments before Hecate decided to break the silence. “I take it you haven’t spoken to Mrs. Hallow.”

Ada looked back at her in surprise before simply shaking her head softly. “I’m not sure I can face her yet.” 

Hecate nodded sympathetically, encouraging Ada to continue. 

Ada sighed before continuing “I wonder… if the time has come for me to pack up my broom and move on.”

“It most certainly hasn’t.” Hecate snapped quickly, trying to still the insurmountable feeling of dread that settled in the bottom of her stomach at the idea of anyone other than Ada as Headmistress of Cackle’s Academy. 

“But when I think about everything that’s happened this term, the fire, the founding stone going missing- ” Ada insisted immediately, trying to hide the tears that had gathered under her glasses. 

“None of that was your fault.” Hecate tried to interrupt the spiral but Ada shook her head insistently.

“On the contrary. The girls are in my care. It’s my job to protect them.” 

“Which you do.” Hecate insisted gently.

“I’m not sure Mrs. Hallow would agree with you.” Ada countered easily.

Hecate bit her tongue as she tried to formulate a response, with Sybil Hallow only meters across the lawn what she wanted to say was certainly inappropriate.

“Still… today’s all about celebrating everything that’s special about Cackle’s.” Eventually Ada ended the silence before getting up from the bench, clearly ready to focus on something else. “You tell Maud I can’t wait to see what they have in store.”

* * *

Hecate redirected her attention to micromanaging Ada’s birthday celebrations for the remainder of the day. Between her own desperation for distraction and Ada’s clear need for a win, helping perfect the girls’ talent show preparations became imperative. 

As she worked closely with the girls she can’t help but hear Pippa’s voice in the back of her head. The memories of her friend reminding her to”  _ be nice to them Hecate, they’re trying their best _ ” and “ _ simple encouragement can help them reach their potential _ ”. It reaches a peak when she recruits Mildred Hubble to help her manage the rising conflicts between students when she remembers a pointed reminder that “ _ Mildred is a very special witch but she needs your guidance to succeed. She hasn’t been given a fair shot at getting used to a world she’s brand new to _ .” 

She expected to find herself increasingly agitated with Pippa’s voice constantly interrupting her thoughts. She’s angry with Pippa after all, and it wouldn’t do to have anger guiding her interactions with her pupils. But instead she finds it comforting. Pippa’s advice centering her thoughts and actions throughout the day and in turn it centers her unruly magic.

In the end it’s all worth it to see Ada so pleased. 

She was pleased too - not that she’d ever admit it. Mildred and her friends’ impressions had been a bold deviation from their agreed upon plans but it had paid off. When she finds herself congratulating Mildred for a performance well done she recognizes Pippa’s comforting influence once again and she finally resolves to mirror Pippa first thing in the morning to apologize when they enter Ada’s office to find the Great Wizard waiting for them. 

Suddenly her world is crashing down around her.

_ “You have been summoned by the Magic Council for an emergency meeting.” _

_ “There’s been a serious complaint made about your conduct.” _

Everything after that is a blur. 

She knows that some time passed after the Great Wizard departed and that Ada had summoned her tea set and moved to sit by the hearth but it’s not until she’s called over to join her that she focuses on registering what is happening.

“What can I do to help?” Hecate asked quietly, sitting down next to her boss, features schooled in an attempt to appear supportive. 

Ada smiled softly at her Deputy, a thought that’s been weighing on her mind since this morning finally bubbling to the surface. “I need you to get prepared for me to be replaced.”

Hecate closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. “Ada I can’t do that.” 

“I know what I’m asking you is unfair but I want you to be prepared.” Ada insisted softly. “I want you to have a say in what happens to you if I leave.”

Hecate laughed at that, the tears she’d managed to hold in falling with the burst of emotion. “I don’t have a say in anything else. Why should this be any different?”

“Because you matter to me.” Ada replied seriously. “And Gwen. We’ve discussed it and we want to make sure you’re protected dear.”

“I- I don’t-” Hecate stammered anxiously, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do with the information she’d been given. Ada tried to stop her spiraling by handing her a cup of tea but Hecate shook her head, instead opting to pace around the office.

Eventually Ada spoke again. “When mother transferred the school to me she still thought of you as a student. But to me you’ve been a fundamental part of the teaching staff and a dear friend. I’d like to honor your wishes in this as much as I can.”

Hecate stopped, turning to face Ada, her features schooled into a neutral expression that wavered slightly with each breath she took. “I’d like to stay here. I want my confinement to remain at Cackle's.”

“I’ll be sure of it.”


	9. As a Manipulated Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S2:E9 "Miss Softbroom"

_ “I am no longer your headmistress. The council have decreed that a new head teacher be appointed to this school. I will be leaving at the end of term and Miss Hardbroom will continue as acting head until a replacement can be found.” _

She’s sitting in Ada’s office, or perhaps it’s her office now, and she’s supposed to be helping Ada with the sorting of school records and the packing of her personal effects but she can feel herself losing control so she sits quietly while Ada rambles on about topics of varied importance. Occasionally she offers a vague “Mmhmm.” or a questioning “Oh?” when Ada pauses for a response. She feels bad knowing that she’ll have to ask Ada to repeat all of this again later but she doesn’t have the strength to move so she stays put. 

Ada seems content to just have Hecate there to talk to as she goes about her work and she doesn’t notice her obvious detachment from the present until she calls for help from across the office. “Hecate could you help me get these plants down-” Ada starts to ask before looking up to see Hecate visibly shaking from her perch on the arm of her favorite chair. “Oh, dear.” She whispered to herself, setting down the plant she was holding and crossing the room to where she sat.

“Hecate?” Ada asks gently, placing her hand on her shaking knee. 

She flinches at the touch but doesn’t immediately move away. Eventually she manages to come up with what she considers a reasonable excuse for her behavior. “I’m sorry Ada, this is just so much at once. I think I need to go lie down.” 

Ada nodded sympathetically. “Of course. This can all wait until morning.” She tried to reassure her watching as Hecate quickly walked toward the door before giving up on maintaining any pretense that she was okay and clenching her fists at her side to transfer her out of the room.

Rematerializing in her chambers she lets out a strangled sob as she tries not to completely fall apart. She hates that she can’t be there for Ada when she needs her but she can’t breathe and she’s not certain she can even begin to sort out why. Between Ada’s dismissal, her instatement as temporary head, and the personality changing potion she spent the majority of the day under she desperately needs someone to talk to, but she knows that she can’t talk to anyone - not about this. Not when explaining how she remembers it could cost her everything she has left.

She was almost certain that Dimity had told the girls that she wouldn’t remember anything about what had happened. And to be fair, Dimity had no way of knowing she was wrong. She really shouldn’t remember anything about it. But Mistress Broomhead had ensured that Hecate had been trained in even the most obscure skills of the craft, leaving Hecate with not only a myriad of abilities that were so sparse among today’s magical practitioners that explaining them would put her at risk of further isolation but abilities that were now classified as corrupt or illegal. Among these abilities was her extensive training in mindcraft.

It was during her third summer with Mistress Broomhead when Hecate began training for her first speciality craft. She wasn’t particularly surprised when her tutor announced she’d be spending the summer beginning the mastery of a specialty craft. The summers before had been spent mastering the majority of the training that she would be expected to have from a traditional witching education, so it made sense that speciality studies would be introduced. Standard practices would have allowed Hecate to select her areas for speciality studies but much like the rest of her training her preferences weren’t a part of the conversation. What had been unanticipated was the area that Mistress Broomhead had chosen for her.

Mindcraft had been largely done away with in witching education, and for good reason. In order for students to master even the beginning stages of the craft they would be intentionally exposed to a number of dangerous neurological potions. Not to mention the fact that the majority of the potions and spells involved in the practice were illegal. When she’d asked Mistress Broomhead about the dangers of the training she’d received a terse,  _ “Mindcraft is an increasingly rare skill and learning it will at least make you worth something _ .” 

And like so many parts of her summer training, it had been fine up until it hadn’t.

* * *

After having been thoroughly punished for having the audacity to question Mistress Broomhead’s wisdom about her education she kept her head down and tried her best to follow her training but it just wasn’t working. It was well into the Summer and Hecate knew she should have a near mastery of resistance but she was still struggling. Resistance, the first skill that must be learned to continue studying mindcraft, allows one to overpower or negate the effects of cognitive-altering potions and spells. Resistance comes first because the other four skill areas - attention, inhibition, manipulation, and alteration - each have the potential to have disastrous side-effects if the caster doesn’t have the ability to shield yourself from any excess energy created by your work.

The fundamental task in resistance training involves being given increasingly large doses of the most common potions in mindcraft to build up increased immunity over time. So far she had made her way through the final rounds of both the truth serum and the personality changing potions but she’d been stuck on the final dose of tincture of obedience for nearly a month. It’s effects being much more subtle than those of the first two made it substantially more difficult to detect and resist.

When she started to feel the effects of the obedience spell creeping in once again she resolved to keep it from her tutor. Not wanting to let her know that she had failed, again, she’d used the resistance skills that she did have to hide the effects that the potion had on her so she could move on to further training - hopeful that she’d learn something that would help her improve her resistance without needing the antidote from Mistress Broomhead.

She’d made it through the rest of the summer with relative ease. It was simple enough to hide an obedience spell when you were already expected to follow orders with exactness from the only person you regularly saw. But things became more complicated when she returned to school.

The more people you’re around the harder it is to hide (or survive) an obedience spell but it was fairly manageable up until Guinevere Lovelace realized something was off with her self-proclaimed nemesis.

Guinevere Lovelace was the daughter of prominent witching scholar Eleanora Lovelace. As the eldest daughter in a prominent witching family she was expected to outperform her peers with ease. Something she’d done since year one with a single exception - Hecate Hardbroom. No matter how hard she tried Hecate outperformed her in nearly every subject the only exceptions being the elective courses she’d taken that Hecate had not. 

Her hatred of Hecate was far from a secret. Guinevere regularly filled her spare time by gathering with her coven, concocting ways to “bring her down a notch or two” and spreading increasingly absurd rumors about Hecate and the Hardbroom family. So when Hecate started behaving strangely - never raising her hand in classes, always making excuses to avoid eating in the hall with everyone else, spending the majority of her time locked away in her room - she had redirected that time and energy into finding out what was going on and how she could take advantage of it.

Hecate tried her best to avoid being around Guinevere at all as soon as she realized what was happening. The absolute last thing she needed was for a girl who vehemently hated her to find out she had to obey any command she was given. It had come to a head when Guinevere approached her in the hallway after dinner one evening with a knowing grin and eyes dark with resolve.

“Saw your daddy in the paper again Hardboom. Lovely photograph of him and his new wife.” She sneered, her grin spreading across her face as she watched Hecate back herself into the corner. “What is that for him, wife number four? Shame he can’t seem to keep anyone around long enough to produce a respectable heir.”

Hecate bristled at the implication but resolved to ignore her taunts, assuming Guinevere would eventually tire of harassing her. 

“Why weren’t you invited?” Guinevere asked when Hecate didn’t respond, feigning pity. “Too much of an embarrassment now that you’re a goety?”

She flinched at the unexpected slur. Goety was a rather archaic word that had historically been used in the magical community to refer to witches that society believed had been corrupted by dark magic, particularly those who were suspected of using necromancy for the purpose of fulfilling carnal desires, but could not be proven to have broken The Code. It had fallen out of its original use about fifty years prior when historians proved that the witches condemned by society as secretly evil were actually older unmarried witches who were assumed to be virgins and therefore considered overly powerful by wizards that subscribed to the even less palatable (and highly illegal) practice of nymphe venereal magic. Now it was used to demean witches that were considered deviant from their expected familial roles because they practiced dark magic.

Hecate clenched her jaw tightly before managing to grind out a response. “It wasn’t a big affair. Father has never been one for a party.” 

It was then that Guinevere shifted her tactics, ready to test her theory about Hecate’s predicament. “It’s not surprising you weren’t invited. At least not really.” She mocked callously. “Everyone knows that your father killed your mother to get out of their marriage so he could have a son.” 

Hecate didn’t respond, her back now firmly pressed against the rough stone wall as she tried to think of an escape plan before something happened that she couldn’t prevent. But she couldn’t think straight, her mind paralyzed by the memories flooding back of the night her mother died. Her small body pressed up against her mother’s chest as she took her final breaths, unable to survive the trauma her body had endured despite their attempts to nurse her mother back to health.

“Admit it.” Guinevere demanded, her eyes shining with amusement. 

Before Hecate can register what’s happening she’s obeying the command, much to Guenievere’s delight, and she hears her own shaky voice admitting, “My father killed my m-”

But she was quickly cut off by an angry voice down the hall shouting, “Back the fuck off Guinevere!” 

Suddenly she finds herself behind a wall of blonde curls a gentle hand grasping her own tightly and Pippa’s comforting voice whispering for her to “Stay behind me and let me handle this.” 

Having no choice, but thankful for the intervention, Hecate sighs with relief as she’s released from Guenievere’s command.

Pippa glared angrily at the overconfident girl across from her. “You wouldn’t like it if I went around telling everyone that your father brought his mistress with you both to Beltane at my parents’ cottage last summer instead of your mother would you?” 

Guinevere’s cheeks flushed bright red. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh I really do.” Pippa assured her, her sharp eyes boring a hole in the girl’s already crumbling sense of superiority. “But I would never do that to you because that would be cruel to spread rumors about the choices another student’s parents made. Although it would be different if I were to do so because the rumor would be true rather than libelous slander.”

When Guinevere failed to come up with a response other than some unintelligible muttering Pippa turned back to Hecate and whispered “Come with me.” before leading her unknowingly captive friend back to her room.

Pippa kicked her shoes off and moved to sit on her bed while Hecate stood awkwardly by the door, thankful for Pippa’s help getting out of Guinevere’s trap but panicked by the prospect of having to talk about what had happened.

“Come sit down.” Pippa urged and she felt herself once again complying with Pippa’s request before she could really process it. Pippa wrapped an arm around her and they sat quietly for a while, Hecate’s panicked breaths slowly .

Eventually Pippa spoke. “I’m sorry about what Guenievere said about your Mum. She doesn’t know anything and was just looking for attention.” When Hecate didn’t respond, she tried a different tactic. “You didn’t have to just stand there and take it.”

Hecate chuckled bitterly at that. “Didn’t have much of a choice.”

“It’s not true though.” Pippa argued. “Your mother died from a horrible case of goblin plague. Nobody killed her, certainly not your father.”

Hecate shrugged, knowing she couldn’t explain her behavior without revealing more information than she had any interest in giving even her best friend. 

“What’s wrong Hiccup?” Pippa asked gently, handing her an easily conjured handkerchief.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” Hecate tried to assure her despite the tears streaming down her face. 

Pippa shook her head as she pulled Hecate closer. “It’s not nothing if it has you this upset. Tell me what’s going on.”

Unable to hold back a response any longer she finds herself spitting out “I can’t not tell you what’s happened because I was given some tincture of obedience but I’d really rather not say anything else if that’s alright with you.”

Pippa’s eyes widened in horror at her friend’s revelation. “Who did this to you?” She asked, pulling away from her so she could see her face. She was surprised to see her friend’s face contorted in pain, her teeth biting down on her lip so hard they drew blood. 

“Pippa, please.” Hecate managed to spit out before she covered her mouth with both of her hands. 

“Oh! No. No, I’m sorry, please forget that!” Pippa exclaimed as she realized what she’d done, jumping backwards as if her touch was the source of Hecate’s pain. “You don’t have to tell me how it happened unless you want to. Please don’t tell me unless you want to.”

Sighing with relief Hecate looked up at her friend anxiously. “Please don’t tell anyone. I think Guenievere’s figured it out but… I just need to wait for it to wear off.”

“But that will be  _ months _ .” Pippa argued, standing up to pace around her room. “You can’t live like this.”

“It should be over soon. I promise.” Hecate tried to reassure her. 

Pippa continued to pace. Muttering to herself for several minutes before her eyes snapped over to her friend, full of despair at the realization she’d just had. “Am I correct in assuming that means that you’ve been living like this for months already then?” 

Hecate nodded but didn’t offer any additional information.

Pippa sighed before moving back to sit next to her. “How can I help?” 

Relieved that she wasn’t pushing for more information, Hecate let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Just help me keep Guinevere, or anyone else for that matter, from making me do anything horrible.” 

And Pippa had done exactly that. For months Pippa ran almost constant interference between Hecate and the other students - many of whom had unfortunately bought into Guinevere’s rumor that Hecate had been cursed by her father at birth to obey the commands of any pureblood witches or wizards with more natural power than her. 

Of course this got the two of them into a reasonable amount of trouble. It was almost impossible to counter the commands given by ill-intentioned students particularly while they were in classes with teachers had quickly become irritated with their increasingly erratic behavior.

It was a Friday afternoon while they were working on their makeup classwork after Pippa had been forced to sabotage their own potion to prevent Hecate from having to drink their forcibly self-spiked with bat drool, but otherwise perfect, growth elixir. Earning both of them a failing grade for the day and detention that afternoon.

“Pass the gillyweed.” Pippa requested, forgetting to word it as a question with her focus entirely on their potion. 

Moments later Hecate looked over at her in surprise when she realized she hadn’t already done so.

“Is it…?” Pippa tried to formulate a question that wouldn’t get either of their hopes up unnecessarily.

“I don’t know.” Hecate replied, panic rising in her voice. “Try- try something else.” 

“Um… do twenty laps around the track?” Pippa suggested awkwardly, clenching her teeth in anticipation.

Hecate looked at her in bewilderment. “You couldn’t have picked something easier just in case?”

“Oh my goddess, Hiccup!” Pippa exclaimed, rushing around the table to hug her tightly. “You did it!” 

When Hecate began to cry Pippa softened her voice immediately, moving her hands to gently rub her friend’s back as she shook with sobs. “I’m so sorry. This never should have happened and I am so, so glad it’s over.”

“Me too.” Hecate affirmed quietly, wiping carefully at the tears that had been threatening to fall into their potion. 

They stood quietly for a moment, Pippa’s arms still wrapped firmly around her friend’s waist before Hecate managed to whisper. “Thank you, so much.”

Pippa smiled, pressing her lips quickly against her forehead. “Of course. You can always come to me for help and I’ll do whatever I can. No matter what happens”

* * *

She’s pulled out of the memory by a timid knock at the door. Keenly aware of the fact that it is now her responsibility, and her responsibility alone, to deal with any crises students or staff may be dealing with she attempts to make herself reasonably presentable before opening the door to whatever chaos awaited.

Surprised to see a single student standing outside her door looking incredibly nervous she finds herself identifying the girl with an all too familiar drawl.“Mildred Hubble.” 

The girl stared down at her shoes, cringing slightly as she noticed that her bootlaces were once again untied. Her voice wavering as she tried to address her teacher. “I wan… you... after…”

Hecate felt her nerves fraying as she stopped her student’s unparsable words. “Mildred you’re mumbling.”

“I wanted to see if you were okay.” Mildred replied, firmly this time, the courage she could see in her eyes not quite managing to stop her ankles from quaking beneath her. “And bring you these.” she amended, holding out a tin of biscuits. 

Raising an eyebrow, Hecate reached out to take the small green tin. “And what would give you the impression that I am not okay?” She snapped, more harshly than she had intended but entirely unsure what to make of her student’s presence 

“Between Miss Cackle leaving and…” Mildred pauses then, clearly trying to decide how to finish her sentence. “With the inspection and... everything I just thought that maybe you could use some biscuits.”

Hecate can tell she’s been told about what she missed. She can also tell that the girls have been sworn to secrecy by Mildred’s increasingly awkward attempts to talk around the subject. But she’s not supposed to know, so she waits until Mildred continues.

“Mum made them and they always make me feel better after a hard day.” She rambles on. “But it's okay if you don’t want them though. You can give them to Miss Bat or Miss Cackle or even Miss Pentangle. I just wanted to-”

She manages to interrupt her with a remarkably even tone. “Thank you Mildred. This was very… thoughtful. I appreciate the gesture.” 

Mildred beams up at her, pleased that for once she seems to have done something right in Miss Hardbroom’s eyes. 

“Was there something else?” Hecate finally asked when Mildred continued to stand outside her door, awkwardly shifting her weight back and forth.

“Yeah um...” She starts awkwardly before she finds the determination to explain herself. “I’m really sad about Miss Cackle, but I think you’ll be a great head teacher.” 

Hecate is surprised by the admission but knows she isn’t in a headspace to examine it further right now so she dismisses Mildred with a small smile and a reminder that “That’s very well, but it’s nearly lights out so you best make your way to your room now.” 

She makes her way to her small kitchen and finds herself opening the tin out of curiosity. Inside she finds eight neatly packaged viennese whirls, Pippa’s favorite. She feels a pang of guilt as she realizes that in addition to everything else she’d forgotten to call Pippa this morning to apologize. She feels even worse when she realizes that all she really wants is to be able to talk to Pippa about everything that’s happened.

She sighs as she puts the lid back on the tin, staring across the room to her mirror. “I wish you could help with this Pippa, but this is beyond even you.”


	10. As the Perpetual Deputy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S2: E10 "A New Dawn"

She’s certain she must be mistaken when she hears a gaggle of first years racing down the hallway squealing something along the lines of “Miss Pentangle’s here! Can you believe it?” but the scene in the south courtyard proves them correct. 

Pippa Pentangle, in all of her bright pink glory, has arrived at Cackle’s Academy with no notice. Clearing the skies in her wake in stark contrast to the energy she expects from Pippa about now. She tries to ignore the sinking feeling in the bottom of her stomach as she realizes she’s about to be forced into what she expects will be a rather heated argument in front of her students. 

Transferring up to the still all too exposed balcony where Pippa’s clearly waiting for her she manages a rather indelicate greeting.“You always did like to make an entrance, Pippa.”

“Oh, Hecate, no harm in giving them a show!” Pippa insists, waving to the students below before turning to Hecate with a smirk. “What about the time when you materialized in the middle of the school Leavers’ Ball in that silver gown and hat?”

“I’m quite sure that wasn’t me.” Hecate protests before Pippa rolls her eyes and makes her way down to the courtyard to greet the waiting crowd of students. 

It takes several minutes to herd the crowd back into the castle but eventually she convinces them to talk with their visitor as they make their way towards their classes that they’re bound to be late to at this point.

“To what do we owe the honor?” She finally manages to ask over the cacophony of the girls’ questions. 

Pippa forces a smile at the question, distinctly aware of each pair of eyes on them. “The Magic Council just wanted me to pop by and put on some modern witching workshops.”

“Modern?” Hecate winces at the stutter in her own voice betraying the panic she feels at the revelation that Pippa is not here of her own accord.

Pippa raises an eyebrow slightly at Hecate’s response but is unwilling to let her concern “So here I am.” 

“It is somewhat irregular.” Hecate regains her composure. “I really should have been informed as acting headmistress.”

“Absolutely, dear Hecate, and believe me, the Council has every confidence in you.” Pippa’s almost sickly sweet tone insists before continuing. “They are well aware that your reputation as a strict disciplinarian, stuck firmly in the past is… complete fiction.”

It’s then that Felicity Foxglove interrupts them. “Sorry, Miss Hardbroom, some of the girls are wondering if… if Miss Pentangle is going to be the new head?”

Her heart nearly stops at the suggestion and Pippa’s dismissive laugh does little to assuage her skyrocketing anxiety at the possibility. “Nothing would make me leave Pentangle’s.”

“Miss Pentangle is simply here to run some modern witching work-” She stops, looking over at Pippa in surprise She knows the interruption was awkward, and frankly quite rude, but she really couldn’t handle any more discussion of the ludicrous theory that Pippa would be replacing Ada as headmistress.

Pippa, clearly displeased by the disruption, pointedly finishes the sentence with an overly cheery “-shops!” and she finds herself awkwardly trying to finish her own sentence as well, substantially more quietly than she’d begun. She’s distinctly aware of how forced Pippa’s false kindness had become and their increasingly obvious tension filling the room.

But Pippa manages to appear unphased as she turns to the still present group of students with a bright smile. “Let’s make a start, shall we girls?”

As she watches her pupils follow Pippa excitedly down the corridor she can feel the increasing instability of her magic and she manages to make her way around the corner before she makes several transfers on her way to supervise her potions class in a vain attempt to maintain control for the remainder of Pippa’s visit.

* * *

Hecate does relatively well handling the situation for most of the morning. She spends it transferring back and forth between her own classes and the workshops she’s meant to be supervising as acting Headmistress. The sheer number of tasks she’s responsible for serve as an effective distraction. She’s almost convinced she’ll make it through Pippa’s time in the castle before she breaks down when Pippa admits the actual reason for her visit in response to Ada’s persistent questioning.

“Okay.” Pippa admits uncomfortably. “I should have told you before I arrived. I-”

Hecate feels as if her world is about to crumble around her. She’d been so certain in her reassurance to Ada that Pippa wasn’t interested in the position of Headmistress, dismissing the rumor so easily. She feels like a fool as she realizes her faith in Pippa’s word had been sorely misplaced.

“I’ve heard the Council rumors.” Ada interrupts her, clearly agitated by the situation. “A ‘super head’?”

Hecate feels her wide eyes betray the surprise she feels at Ada’s admission. If Ada had already known this was a possibility why wouldn’t she have told her? Why did she ask her if Pippa was interested if she already knew she was?

Pippa cringes at the look on Hecate’s face. “It’s a silly title, really.” She tries to downplay the revelation before continuing. “It just means...I’d be head teacher of both schools.”

“Is one not enough for you?” Hecate finally snaps, unable to control the anger that’s been rising since Pippa arrived. 

Pippa tries to explain herself. “I… I really haven’t made any decision yet, I-” but it’s clear that Hecate isn’t interested in what she has to say. The two of them clearly having reached a long-mounting impasse.

Ada excuses herself, sensing that this conversation no longer concerns her, and leaves the two witches in a tense standoff. It’s several moments before Pippa breaks the silence. “You weren’t hoping to take over yourself, were you?” She asks, looking as if the idea had just occurred to her. 

Hecate’s shaking with anger as she tries to formulate a response and she can feel her magic quickly spiraling out of control. “I am hoping that someone sees sense, and that Miss Cackle is reinstated.” She spits, walking swiftly towards the door intent on getting out of the room before her insatiable magic can make her do anything she knows she’ll regret.

“You and Ada made a great team.” Pippa stops her before she’s able to leave, her tone suddenly quiet. “Maybe we could be too.”

Hecate turns around suddenly at the suggestion, her magic now angrily sparking in the air around them. The juxtaposition of the betrayal she felt at the revelation that the council have fast tracked Pippa to replace Ada and the guilt she feels at Pippa’s admission that she’d just wanted to work with Hecate is far too much to handle. She tries to come up with something, anything, she can say to explain what’s going on in her mind but it’s clearly a lost cause as Pippa swiftly makes her way out of the office herself.

* * *

She spends the rest of the day fighting with Pippa. She’s not convinced that it’s what she wants but she’s not sure she really has a choice. Between Pippa’s confrontation upon her arrival and her all-too-willingness to take over Ada’s position as headmistress regardless of her own feelings on the matter, Hecate spends most of the afternoon feeling almost entirely out of control and their increasingly absurd arguments serve as a desperately needed distraction.

But Pippa, as always, has Hecate’s best interests at heart and when she learns that Ada has been falsely ousted she does everything she can to help. Hecate’s not sure why she’s surprised by Pippa’s willingness to stand up for Ada and the school, stand up for her and what she clearly wants, to The Great Wizard himself, but she is and she suddenly feels terrible for fighting with her all over again.

And just like that the visit is over, and Pippa is making her way through the entrance hall to head back to Pentangle’s. It’s as Felicity Foxglove once again asks Pippa for an interview that she realizes that she’s actually quite disappointed that much like her arrival Pippa’s departure is much too public, though now they’re far too exposed for an apology rather than an argument.

Before she has too long to dwell on her regret she hears Pippa call her attention back to her. “Hecate, I never wanted to be better than you. I wanted to be like you.” She admits with a small smile. “You’re the witchiest witch I ever knew, and you always will be.”

She doesn’t know how to respond, so she simply stares, unsure of what she’s supposed to think. But when she suddenly feels a firm grip on her forearms and the surprisingly familiar feeling of Pippa’s lips pressed to her cheek she knows that the whispered “Goodbye, Hecate.” is meant to convey a far more important message. That Pippa is no longer angry, and that she forgives her.

Her breath hitches as she tries to whisper back, “Goodbye, Pippa.” hoping that she can convey the same. That she’s not angry, and that she forgives her.

And then she’s gone.

Hecate spends the rest of the evening distracted by thoughts of mirroring Pippa to talk. After supervising the final detention for the evening, finally resolved that calling tonight would be far too desperate and that she would wait until morning, she transfers to her quarters to find Pippa standing in her living room.

Before she can really process what’s happening she hears Pippa’s rushed voice trying to explain. “I know this is rather forward but I wanted to talk to you and it didn’t seem all that probable that we’d be able to get a moment alone as long as Miss Foxglove knew I was here so I-” She stops when she sees the unreadable expression on Hecate’s face. “But you just say the word and I’ll go.”

At that Hecate shakes her head firmly, crossing the room in a few swift steps to grab onto Pippa’s hands. “Please don’t.” She whispers hoarsely, her voice thick with unshed tears.

“Okay.” Pippa nods, her nerves dissipating into a slight smile. “I won’t, I promise.”

They stand quietly for a moment before Pippa glances to the settee across from them. “Should we sit?” She suggests, and Hecate nods, but doesn’t let go of her hands, as if she’s worried that the moment she lets go Pippa will disappear. It’s an awkward affair, trying to find a position that will allow them both to sit without Hecate letting go or one of them on top of the other, but they manage to make it work.

Another few moments pass before Hecate finally breaks the silence. “I wanted to call.”

Pippa pulls away slightly, looking at her curiously. “Why didn’t you?”

“Well I didn’t want to at first.” Hecate admits softly. “I was angry for awhile.

Pippa blushed at that, embarrassed by the reminder of the content of her portion of their argument. “I shouldn’t have judged you so harshly.” She tries to apologize. “I just…”

“What were you supposed to think?” Hecate fills in for her. “After all, Hecate Hardbroom is a strict disciplinarian firmly stuck in the past.” 

“I know you. I know that’s not true-” Pippa tries to apologize again before Hecate stops her.

“You don’t though. Up until a few months ago we hadn’t spoken in over twenty-five years. How could you possibly know me?” She protests.

Pippa looks down, her nose scrunched in displeasure. “I know who you are though, deep down. You would never put the girls in danger, not intentionally. It was unfair of me to suggest that you would. It was especially unfair of me to accuse you of doing so because you were too self-important to care.”

Hecate is quiet for a while before she finally replies. “I’d like for you to know me.” she admits before quickly adding. “And I’d like to get to know you as well.”

“I’d like that.” Pippa smiles softly. 

And it’s remarkably easy for them to fall back into a comfortable conversation. Pippa telling her about her travels and adventures since school, recounting her least favorite parts of witching college, and her favorite parts of finally opening her own school. Hecate supplying her own, highly edited, stories of her time at Cackle’s and her somewhat wandering journey to becoming Deputy Head of a school in her own right. Before they know it hours have passed and Hecate is comfortably laying with her head in Pippa’s lap, her thumbs subconsciously rubbing across each of the light pink fingernails of the hands in her own and for the first time in a long time Hecate thinks she feels safe.

But when Pippa asks about Hecate’s time outside of school she immediately feels ill. She tries to dismiss the question with a quiet “Nothing really.” but she knows as the words escape her mouth that they won’t be enough.

“Oh come on Hecate. What do you do outside of Cackle’s?” Pippa insists. “I’ve told you about the book club I organize and my botanical gardens. Surely you must do something outside of Cackle’s that’s worth mentioning.”

Hecate panics. Desperately trying to find the words that will make this all go away. Of course, there’s nothing she can say that other than the truth that could possibly explain that she in fact does not do anything outside of Cackle’s and that the last time she’d done so she’d accidentally turned a child to stone.

She’s shaken from her thoughts by a sharp hiss from Pippa above her. She sits up quickly, looking “Pippa?”

Pippa looks somewhat embarrassed by the question. “It’s just-” She cringes at the realization that she hadn’t been hiding her discomfort as well as she’d thought and decides honesty is the best option here. “Your magic, it’s hurting me.” She explains, nodding toward their still joined hands. 

Hecate jumps up immediately, panicking as she realizes the amount of magical energy she must have been channeling into Pippa as it begins to level to precarious stability solely inside of herself instead. “You should go.” She insists quickly, hoping that she can convince her to leave before she gets any worse.

Pippa sighs but doesn’t move toward her. “If that’s what you’d really like I’m happy to do so, but I’d like to stay.”

“I hurt you.” Hecate mumbled, now swiftly pacing back and forth. “I hurt you… again. I hurt you.” 

Keenly aware that her own choice of words hadn’t helped the situation Pippa tries to backtrack them. “Hurt is too strong a word, really. It was just quite a lot of your magic all at once.” She tries to convince her, now at the edge of the couch ready to move at the first signal she can help. “You just need to burn off some of it. Let’s go somewhere. You can transfer us a few times to burn off the energy and we’ll get some dinner somewhere. My treat.”

At that Hecate lets out a sob, halting suddenly in the center of the room as she finds herself unable to move. “I can’t... Pippa I can’t.” She manages to grind out as she sinks down to her knees in the middle of the room.

“Okay, that’s okay.” Pippa tries to reassure her despite how helpless she suddenly feels herself. “How do you handle this? What can I do?” When she doesn’t get a response she moves to crouch down next to her, gently placing her hand on Hecate’s trembling shoulder.

“No!” Hecate hisses, pushing away as soon as she feels Pippa’s hand back on her. “Please don’t touch me. I don’t want… I might hurt you.”

Holding her hands up in surrender, Pippa adjusts slightly so she’s sitting next to her, but several inches away and not touching her before timidly asking, “Is this okay?”

After freezing for a moment, clearly trying to focus long enough to answer the question, Hecate nods and manages a forced “Thank you.” before bending forward to bury her face in her own knees, arms wrapped tightly around her abdomen in an attempt to quell the sobs that hadn’t stopped.

It’s in this moment that Pippa realizes just how far they’ve drifted. Of course thirty years apart was bound to leave some gaps in their relationship but she’s moved by the fact that thirty years ago she knew how to help. She knew how to help Hecate recenter when her magic overwhelmed her, as it seemed to do more and more as they neared graduation. She knew that a gently placed hand on a shoulder could temporarily calm her anger at the worst of times and that sharing a cup of ginger tea while stargazing on the roof would wash away the rest. But it had never been like this.

Even at her lowest she had never seen Hecate this upset, had never felt her magic this out of control. She’d assumed that as Hecate’s magic grew in strength over time that it had become more stable, but it was becoming increasingly clear that the opposite was the case. 

She manages to maintain her resolve to let her handle this alone as she’s asked until the window panes across the room start to vibrate. “Hecate, please what can I do?”

When she receives no response other than a slight whimper her mind races to think of anything she might be forgetting about that could help. Eventually, it occurs to her that while she doesn’t know how to help anymore, there must be someone who does. “Who can help?” She’s ashamed she has to ask, but she doesn’t know what else to do. “Who knows how to help?”

When Hecate shakes her head Pippa assumes it’s out of frustration rather than an answer and tries a different tactic. “I should get Ada.”

**_“NO!”_ **

Pippa jumps at the sheer volume of her response but manages to keep her composure. “Okay then who? Who should I get?”

“There’s nobody.” Hecate manages to gasp between sobs. “Nobody.”

Suddenly she realizes she’s been so focused on trying to remember what had helped Hecate when they were younger that she’d dismissed what she’d learned since. As a headmistress of her own academy she’d been exposed to a wide variety of magical ailments, including magical profusions. When young witches are growing into their magic they often experience uncontrollable fluctuations in their powers, much like the growth spurts their bodies went through around the same time. Traditional witching has always dictated these periods as a critical part of a witching education, providing a built in opportunity to learn how to control unexpected shifts in and deal with the discomfort that comes with it. But Pippa had never been one for tradition, nor did she have any interest in seeing her students in pain. She’d found through trial and error that having her students to channel their magic through her while she cast allowed her to effectively manage the drain of the profusion without needing the stability to cast from the student themselves.

Shifting so she’s seated in front of Hecate she commits to trying this, if Hecate will allow it. “Hecate, I think I know how to help you but I’m going to have to touch you.” Pippa says tentatively. “Is that okay?” 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Hecate whispers softly, her resolve clearly crumbling.

Sensing an opening to convince her Pippa channels all of the confidence she has. “I’ll be okay. I promise.” She knows that it’s a promise she shouldn’t make. She’s only ever done this for adolescent witches and wizards, never anyone with anywhere near the sheer power that she’s known Hecate has possessed since they were teenagers. 

When Hecate nods Pippa moves quickly around her so that she’s sitting behind her. “I’m going to wrap my arms around yours.” She explains as she gently does so. “And then take your hands in mine.”

Hecate immediately feels a sense of relief as her magic begins to flow from her but she panics as she realizes it’s once again channeling directly into Pippa. “Pippa… you can’t…”

“I’m not keeping it.” Pippa explains gently. “I’m casting it.” 

Unsure what she could possibly mean but suddenly aware that her magic is still filling the room she concentrates for a moment and realizes that instead of the angry magic that had reverberated across every surface just moments before her magic is gently flowing, and mixed ever so slightly with Pippa’s, giving her a distinct sense of security and comfort..

Eventually Pippa feels Hecate’s magic slow, signaling that she’s drained at least the majority of the excess energy. Carefully recentering her grip around her still trembling friend she casts a final spell to conjure a plush down comforter beneath them on the floor and a firm cushion behind them for her to lean back against. Slowly she moves so that they’re laying down, her arms still around her, whispering assurances that she’s alright, and that it’s okay because it’s over.

A comfortable silence filled the room for a time before Hecate finally managed to ask, “What did you do?” the exhaustion apparent in her voice.

“I just channelled your magic through my body as I cast it.” Pippa began to explain. “It’s not all that different in practice than casting jointly, or even sharing magic like I did with Mildred this afternoon - though I suppose bringing that up now is not the best idea - it just involves me taking that magic that I could already feel of yours and doing something with it. Really it’s quite simple if you’re willing to forego the traditional ways of doing things-”

“No… I understand it in practice.” Hecate stops her. “I could feel what was happening and while I would love to discuss that more at a later time I meant what did you cast? How did you use all of that magic?”

Pippa smiles as she adjusts her position so they’re both leaning back a bit further. “Look up.” 

She looks up to see the night sky and it takes a moment for her to realize that what she’s seeing is entirely composed from astral projection. The intricacies of the individual stars and the accuracy of their relative placement alone is breathtaking, but she’s also taken the care to ensure that their display is identical to what would be seen if exactly above their current position in the castle. It’s an impressive technical feat in it’s own right, but it’s also beautiful and she can’t stop thinking about how Pippa made it for her.

“I thought you might still find astrology calming.” Pippa started to explain, misinterpreting Hecate’s awkward silence as contempt. “I wanted you to have something calming when this was over so I thought...It’s all astral projection so I can get rid of it-”

“Don’t you dare.” Hecate demands firmly, tightening her grip on Pippa’s hands.

Pippa smiles, wrapping her arms a bit more tightly around Hecate’s waist. “I’m glad you like it.”

They lay quietly for a while and Pippa has just felt Hecate finally start to relax next to her when she hears a timid voice begin to mumble in her ear. “I need to… how can I thank… I still don’t understand.”

“We can talk about all of that later.” Pippa stops her gently. “Right now you need to rest.”

Hecate nods in agreement but there’s one question she needs to ask now. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

“I’ll be right here.” Pippa assures her softly. “As long as you need me I’ll be right here.”


	11. As The Witch They Expected Me to Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S2:E11 "Love at first Sight"
> 
> CW: Miscarriage

As a child Halloween had been one of Hecate’s favorite days of the year. She’d spend the morning in the kitchen with her mother preparing food for their evening feast and the afternoon reading stories from her mother’s Witching history. It always felt peaceful and sacred. A time for reflection on and gratitude for the magic that allowed them to be. But when Hecate had gone away to school she’d discovered that many witching families now treated Halloween as a festivity rather than a hallowed occasion meant for reflection.

While she had initially been open to embracing traditions that were unfamiliar to her each year she found something new to dislike about the festivities. And over time the introduction of increasingly silly games and truly unnecessary costumes left her with little time or energy to observe the day in her preferred manner.At some point she’d gotten into the habit of ranking her least favorite Halloween experiences and somehow this year may have already reached the top of the list and it was just turning noon. 

Of course, starting out the morning with an accidental dosing of love potion would be a jarring experience any day of the year. But she can’t help but take it personally that it happened today and that it had eaten up the time she’d planned to devote to her own Halloween traditions.

She had just started preparing the potions that Ada had requested for the night’s festivities when Gwen Bat made her way into the lab, somewhat out of breath as she greeted the younger witch. “Hecate dear, I wanted to make sure you’re alright.” 

Hecate smiled at the older witch’s abrupt entrance. “I’m fine Gwen.”

“I just know that you haven’t had much of an opportunity to love in your life.” She starts carefully, gauging Hecate’s response before continuing. “And I very much hope that this incident doesn’t limit your ability to be open to it in the future.”

“It’s quite a different matter to be forced to love someone you have no interest in whatsoever.” Hecate replies sharply as she sets down the vials in her hands, displeased by the sharp turn their discussion had made towards discussing things she’d rather leave unsaid.

“You never loved him, I know that.” Gwen supplied for her. 

“Of course I never loved Algernon, Gwen! I was under the effects of a love potion. That’s not how that works.” Hecate replied dismissively, hoping that she wasn’t talking about who she thought she might be.

Gwen shook her head with a slight laugh. “No dear, I wasn’t referring to Algernon.”

Hecate takes in a deep breath at that. Of course Gwen would bring this up. She’d rather not think about it but it makes sense that she would be concerned. “It was a long time ago Gwen, I promise I’m fine.”

“I just worry that you may have found the… particulars of this spell to have not aligned with your true preferences. Much like with young Mr. Rathmore.” She replies delicately.

Hecate bristles at the implication but isn’t sure that she can dismiss it out of hand. Regardless, she’s certainly not prepared to discuss it with anyone else. “I promise you I’m fine.” She tries once again to dismiss the older witch.

“I just want you to know that if you ever aren’t fine, I’ll be here.” Gwen replies knowingly. “And I think you’d find that you have other people around who want to be there for you as well if you’re willing to let them in.”

With that she’d made her way out of the lab, leaving Hecate alone with her thoughts which quickly wandered from the task she’d been working on when Gwen had arrived to her relationship with Blaise Rathmore.

* * *

She was nineteen when it happened, the standard age for beginning courtships among traditional magical families but a bit young still for an arranged marriage itself.

Arranged marriages weren’t all that uncommon among traditional magical families and the Hardbrooms were certainly not an exception. Hecate had known from quite a young age that her primary responsibility as the eldest and only daughter of Grand Master Wizard Perses Hardbroom was to marry a respectable wizard and provide an heir that would carry on the Hardbroom family line.

She tried not to think about it much as a child, not wanting to dwell on her feelings about a future that still seemed so far away, and she hadn’t thought of it at all since her confinement to Cackle’s Academy, assuming that she would no longer be expected to fulfil her familial duties given that there was no way for her to participate in a traditional courtship. But on the morning of her nineteenth birthday she was woken up by a sharp knock and Alma Cackle’s voice sounding through the door to inform her that her father had arrived and wished to see her in her office.

In short order her father introduced her to Blaise Rathmore, son of Grand Master Wizard Eiran Rathmore, and her soon to be husband. Blaise was a warrior by trade and would be travelling almost constantly for work. Warriors often had difficulty securing partners as their line of work made any sort of balance between work and family impossible and it generally led to divorce, an embarrassment to both families. But Hecate was the eldest daughter in a respected witching family and given her circumstances, Eiran Rathmore considered her the ideal candidate for his son’s marriage. Blaise would visit Hecate at Cackle’s when he could to fulfil his duties in the union. Hecate would nurse their children for the first year and then they would be taken to live at the Rathmore estate.

And that was that. Blaise’s father performed the ceremony in the gardens of Cackle’s Academy a fortnight later and Hecate Hardbroom officially became Hecate Rathmore. 

Blaise had been nice enough. He tried to make conversation with her during his visits despite Hecate's clear lack of interest in talking and he’d tried to make sure that she was at least relatively comfortable when they had consummated their relationship. But it was difficult to give him credit for much of anything when she hadn’t wanted any of this to begin with.

She fell pregnant quite quickly. She’d tried to hide it from the Cackle’s staff for as long as possible but she had become increasingly distant as she tried to conceal her condition and when her morning sickness kept her from one too many meals Gwen Bat had intervened.

“Hecate you must eat.” She’d insisted cheerily, pulling open the curtains as she made her way around the younger witch’s bedroom. “I brought you some breakfast, let’s get to it.” 

She shook her head slightly, pulling her blanket up and over her face in an attempt to block out the now overwhelming smell of the full english breakfast Gwen had selected for her.

Not about to be deterred by Hecate’s clear displeasure at her presence Gwen made her way into the girl’s bedroom and placed the tray on the desk across the room before crossing back to sit at the end of the bed. “I know that it’s been hard for you.” She’d tried to comfort her. “I can’t imagine what it must be like to have who you love decided for you.”

When Hecate doesn’t respond she tries again. “I don’t get the sense that you like the boy all that much. But he’s not here and you don’t need to lock yourself away over him.” She tried to comfort her. “Or perhaps you miss him?” She probes, desperately trying to find a way to connect with the young witch that she’d seen almost fully disconnect from everyone around her in the months since her marriage.

“It’s not that, it’s not any of that.” Hecate finally admits from under the blanket before taking a deep breath and letting her secret out. “I have morning sickness.”

Gwen was initially surprised by the revelation. Traditionally a bride and groom would wait until their first Beltane together to begin trying for a child as that was when their fertility rites would be performed, invoking the goddess Hera to protect the mother and child throughout a pregnancy. As she tries to internally reason that it can’t be true, Hecate had been married in late November and they were just approaching Ostara so Beltane was still months away, she remembers that there hadn’t been all that much deference to the traditions of courtship given Hecate’s predicament, and she’s suddenly not all that surprised that her fertility rites had been overlooked as well. 

“Why don’t you come out from under there and we can have a little chat?” Gwen tries to hide her frustration, not wanting Hecate to believe that any of it is because of her.

“Can’t-” Hecate mumbles into the pillow she’s now shoved in front of her face. “The smell.” 

Gwen’s eyes widen in realization and with a flick of her wrist she sends the food back to the kitchen and performs a purifying spell on the air in the room. “It’s gone Hecate.”

When Hecate peers out from under the blanket Gwen sighs at the dark circles under her eyes and her skin that is somehow even more pale than usual. “You’re having quite a rough go of it aren’t you?”

Hecate groans in response but does not elaborate further. 

“I could ask Mrs. Moonfall to brew you a morning sickness potion but without your rites I don’t know that it will do anything.” Gwen offered sadly.

Hecate nods slightly. “I know… that’s why I didn’t ask. Doesn’t make much sense.”

A few moments of silence pass before Gwen speaks again. “They shouldn’t have done this to you dear.” She’s no longer able to hold back her feelings on the subject. “Subjecting you to a pregnancy at such a young age with no protection was irresponsible. Surely your father knows better.”

“I don’t really get a say in what happens to me.” Hecate replied tiredly. “I’m just grateful that this will mean that I’ve fulfilled what my father expects from this.”

Gwen shook her head dismissively. “You know that none of this is meant to be about him? That love is about far more than tradition and duty?”

Hecate laughs darkly at that. “I don’t deserve anything like that, not after what I did. I owe this to my family, to make up for the damage I’ve already done.”

“No dear, you just deserve so much more than what you’ve been given.” Gwen argued sadly. “But, I don’t think now is just the time for that discussion. I’ll leave you be, but you let me know if you need anything huh?”

Hecate had nodded in agreement so she’d left but if she knew her former student she didn’t expect any requests. She’d kept a close eye on her after that, well aware that Hecate’s preference for privacy would mean that she’d likely be the only person aware of the pregnancy until she couldn’t hide it any longer. She’d also tried to be supportive, offering natural remedies recommended by her sister in an attempt to help lessen her symptoms, and asking Hecate to select colors she’d like a blanket she would knit for the baby.

It was several weeks later during a school talent show when she noticed something was amiss. As always, Hecate was seated up on the balcony near the organ. As neither faculty nor student the young witch occupied a liminal space in the academy - always present but nowhere to be. 

She’d just finished playing the accompaniment when she heard a muffled gasp from the younger witch. “Hecate?” 

“I…” She takes in another sharp breath as she tries not to attract any attention from the full room below them. “I’m bleeding.”

Gwen nods slightly before helping her quickly out of the room before anyone else can notice something is amiss. “Are you up for transferring?” When she receives a pained gasp in response she dismisses the idea immediately. “Okay, that’s fine. I’ll take you to my rooms. They’re much closer than your bedroom up in that infernal tower.” 

When they get to her rooms Hecate refuses to get in the bed, instead making her way into the bathroom and all but collapsing onto her knees on the cold white tile. 

It only takes a few minutes for a sizable pool of blood to form between her legs and Gwen can’t put it off any longer. “Darling when did this start?” She asked as she wiped the sweat from the younger witch’s forehead, hoping against hope that the amount of blood was a signal that the baby had come away quickly rather than a sign of complications. 

“Last night.” Hecate’s weak reply only increases her concern.

“Hecate, I’m sorry but I need to get help.” Gwen tries to comfort her. “You’re too far along to be able to just wait this out safely if it’s been that long.”

Quickly she transferred back to the hall, making her way up to the front row of seats and whispering into the headmistress’ ear. “Alma I’m sorry to interrupt but we need a healer.”

“What’s happened?” Alma whispered rather loudly alarmed by the urgency in the chanting teacher’s voice.

Gwen cringed as she noticed several students now staring directly at them rather than the skit the fourth years were performing. In a last ditch attempt to preserve some of Hecate’s privacy she tries a vague approach. “Hecate’s fallen ill… and it would be best if you could come with me to help.”

“Well, get her to the infirmary and I’ll have Healer Barkridge come around after assembly.” Alma replies, clearly intent on finishing up her business here before handling the situation.

“It’s an emergency Alma.” Gwen stops her as she moves to redirect her attention to the students. “And we’ll need an obstetrics healer.” 

Moments later Hecate is vaguely aware of Gwen and Alma helping her off the bathroom floor and onto Gwen’s bed. She hears a soft apology as they begin to remove her dress but she’s so focused on the radiating pain from her core that she can’t bring herself to care. The last thing she remembers is Alma saying something about a hemorrhage and that they needed blood replenishing potions from the storeroom and then - nothing.

When she wakes up two days later it’s in the infirmary. She moves to prop herself up in the bed but stops when she feels a searing pain in her middle.

“Oh don’t try to sit up dear.” Gwen instructs quickly, moving from the chair she’d been camped in since Hecate had arrived to sit at the edge of her bed. “Your body is still healing.”

Hecate nods, eyes scrunched shut in an attempt to quell the nausea that had been building since she woke. “Am I...did the baby?” 

“You’re not still pregnant but I expect you already knew that.” Gwen answers gently, taking the younger witch’s hand in hers. “There’s something else you need to know though.”

Hecate’s not sure what reaction she should have had at the news that they’d been unable to stop the bleeding and the healer had performed a hysterectomy to save her life, but she hadn’t expected the overwhelming wave of grief that encompassed her for days. She tries to convince herself to be relieved - she didn’t want his child to begin with and now she would never have to give him one - but instead she feels empty and alone.

She doesn’t tell Blaise about the child they lost and the damage it had done when he visits just a week later and after that it seems too late so she carries the burden alone. Well aware that no matter how frequently her husband visits she will never give him a child. She plays her role in their marriage for three more years, finally acquiescent to a future that will always involve him in it when she gets the news.

Gwen had knocked on her door early one morning and truthfully she’d expected it to be Blaise . He’d written that he would be visiting a few weeks prior so she’d quickly cast a spell to change into the dress that he had bought for her in France that he requested she wear for him the next time he visited before opening the door.

“Oh… I was expecting…” Hecate exclaimed awkwardly as she looked down at her far too formal attire.

“Hecate dear, I'm afraid I have some unfortunate news.” Gwen had stopped her softly, moving into Hecate’s bedroom and closing the door behind her. “I think you should sit down.” Hecate nodded and moved to sit on the bed despite being quite sure she knew what was coming. “Alma received word from your father this morning that Blaise was killed in combat about a week ago. I’m sorry.”

When Hecate didn’t respond Gwen carefully sat down next to her. “Are you alright? How are you feeling?” Gwen probed, gently placing her hand on the witch’s shoulder.

Hecate shook her head. “I’m fine. I-” She stopped as if to reassess before finishing her sentence. “I don’t feel anything.”

* * *

A few years later she’d realized that in that moment and the months that followed what she really felt was relief. Relief that her commitment to her father was complete. Relief that she’d made it out of her marriage without having to explain her inability to produce an heir to anyone. Relief that as a widow she was no longer considered eligible for an arranged marriage. Relief that Eiran Rathmore considered her an embarrassment to his bloodline and released her from her name and title.

But it hadn’t been until today that she realized that her relief had been tied to something far deeper than that. She’d felt relief that she was no longer married to a man that she’d never felt anything for primarily because he was a man.

When she’d first noticed the effects of the potion just hours ago she’d been struck by the familiarity of the emotions despite the inauthentic object of their affection. She’d never felt that way towards Blaise, and she’d never been in a relationship with anyone else and she can’t quite understand why she recognizes them.

It takes a moment but her heart plummets into her stomach when she realizes why, or more accurately for who, she’d felt them recently.

 _Pippa_.

It shouldn’t surprise her really. As she thinks back it becomes clear that nearly every time she’s felt safe and cared for it’s always been with Pippa.

Before she has a chance to really process the realization the mirror begins to chime and unfortunately it’s a call she’s been waiting for for some time. _Opal Hallewell, Deputy Head, Miss Amethyst's Academy for Young Witches & Wizards._

Pulling herself together she waves her hand to answer the call. “Well met Miss Hallewell.”

“Well met Miss Hardbroom.” Opal replied cheerfully. “I’m so sorry it took so long to return your call. I wanted to check with a few people before I got back to you and while we would be happy to provide a reference for any of our previous faculty I’m sorry to inform you that Marigold Mould has never served on our teaching staff.”

“I see.” Hecate replied tersely, her focus suddenly snapped to be fully on the matter at hand. “Just to be clear, there’s no record whatsoever of her teaching at your school?”

“Nope.” Opal assures her. “And I made sure to check with Miss Storm our spell science teacher. She’s been here for nearly a hundred years and has an impeccable memory. She assured me that there’s never been a Marigold or a Miss Mould on staff here in her time here.”

“I appreciate your thoroughness.” Hecate thanked her briefly. “I’m sorry to have wasted your time.”

“Oh it was no trouble at all.” Opal assures her with a smile. “I hope that everything’s alright?”

Hecate clenches her jaw but forces a polite smile. “I’m sure it’s just a mix-up. I do have to go sort it out now though.”

“Of course. It was nice to meet you - hopefully I’ll see you at a conference sometime soon. I’d love to discuss your research with you.” Opal replied hopefully. 

Hecate managed a civil nod before hanging up the mirror and making her way to the grand hall in search of Marigold Mould.


	12. As Still as Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S2:E13 "The Big Freeze"

Hecate is beyond ready for this Halloween to be over. If she’d had her way they would have cancelled the party altogether but Ada had insisted that the girls needed a morale boost after the day’s events and she can’t really argue with that. So she’d attended in her duty as deputy head but now that Ada’s made her speech she’s officially stayed long enough to not be missed if she takes an early leave. She considers transferring directly but she’s not sure she has the energy so she instead begins to make her way around the perimeter of the room toward the nearest exit.

It takes a several minutes and she’s made her way around the room without being pulled into any conversations or activities but the last obstacle between her and her exit is Mildred Hubble who has situated herself right in front of the side door she’d planned to sneak out through. She sighs internally as she realizes she’ll have to address the young witch in order to execute her plan and she pulls together the most threatening tone she can muster. “So you are actually from a witching family, Mildred Hubble.”

Mildred stills at the realization she’s behind her and the young witch pauses for a moment, looking back as if to confirm it’s really her before replying. “Yes, Miss Hardbroom.”

“Of course, this changes things between us.” She tries not to smile at Mildred’s formality. Even after saving her life - again - Mildred remains insistent on allowing her to maintain her position of authority at all times.

She’s pleased that her words are enough to make Mildred smile but there’s a twinge of regret when she realizes how deeply Mildred’s belief that she’s hard on her because she thinks she’s unworthy of her powers runs by her reply. “I hope so, Miss Hardbroom.”

She wants to correct her but she doesn’t have the energy to deal with that now and Mildred  _ still hasn’t moved _ so she resigns herself to transferring and departs with an affirmation. “I shall need to be harder on you than ever.”

But when she materializes it’s not in her rooms, it’s in the corridor just on the other side of the wall and she stumbles forward into the wall from the sheer force behind her landing. She cries out - a combination of the shock that her magic has failed her again and the pain radiating through her joints from the impact - but she knows no one will have heard her over the organ.

She’s not sure how much time has passed but at some points she hears footsteps coming down the hallway and she’s almost relieved until she hears Mildred Hubble’s voice all but scream her name in fear. “Miss Hardbroom! Are you okay? What happened?”

Hecate tries to respond but when she starts to speak she’s overwhelmed with pain that hadn’t been there before and instead she lets out an unbecoming groan.

“I’ll go get my mum.” Mildred’s so certain in her decision that Hecate’s quite sure she couldn’t stop her if she tried and it’s only a moment before the Hubble’s are at her sides, slowly guiding her down the hallway to the nearest bench. 

She can’t explain or protest and Julie’s pressing her fingers firmly against her wrist and she’s certain she’s asking her something but the roaring in her ears as she tries to regain some sense of equilibrium makes it impossible to understand.

At some point she watches as Mildred is sent back to the party and she thinks Julie’s said that  _ everything will be fine darling _ and her heart races at the comfort those simple words bring. But it’s not enough and she’s consumed by the intense fear that has been mounting since she’d been unable to transfer to her rooms.

Ultimately it’s not Julie’s voice that pulls her out of her panic, it’s Pippa’s. “I came as soon as I heard.” She’s out of breath as sprints down the long corridor toward them.

Hecate looks up at her in confusion and finally manages to speak. “But… how did you?”

“Our chanting teacher’s oldest daughter goes here - Lilac Shadowend - she received a messenger bat saying that the girls were being evacuated from the academy and I -” Pippa stops as she realizes she’s perhaps overstepped. “I wanted to be here for you. At least make sure you are okay - which you seem to be. And it occurs to me now that I could have called rather than jumping on my broomstick without thinking.”

While Hecate would normally be relieved to see Pippa in this situation her mind is reeling at her sudden appearance today. She’s not ready to face her, not today. “You probably should have.”, is her clipped response and she regrets it immediately.

Julie gives Hecate a knowing glare before patting her knee gently. “I think what Miss Hardbroom means to say is that she’s glad to see you.” Julie says with a small smile toward the rather startled witch who’s just arrived. “You seem to be over-exhausted but nothing some rest won’t solve. I’ll leave you in Miss Pentangle’s capable hands.”

“Pippa, please.” She insists with a bright smile. 

“Pippa.” Julie affims with her own smile. “If you could try and convince her to drink a cuppa, and maybe take a hot bath that would be best - nurse’s orders. I’m going to check on Miss Cackle and the girls.”

Hecate mumbles something that sounds a lot like, “Non-magical medicine doesn’t work on magical ailments.” as Julie makes her way back into the hall where the Halloween festivities are still in full swing.

“That may be true but you look absolutely spent.” Pippa said with a small smile. “Tea and a hot bath will likely do you good.”

Hecate sighs and makes to stand from the bench but instantly loses her footing. Pippa reaches out to stabilize her but she pulls back in shock at the cool hard surface she touches instead of the soft warm skin she’s become accustomed to and Hecate falls inelegantly back onto the bench. “Oh Hecate I’m sorry! But you’re as cold as ice.”

Hecate nods slowly as she rights herself. “The girls were evacuated because our founding stone was extinguished.” She explained slowly between shaky breaths. “The school quickly became a magical blackspot and… I was frozen.”

“Why the hell were  _ you _ still in the castle?” Pippa cried incredulously. “The students were evacuated, why weren’t you?”

Hecate shook her head in frustration. “I couldn’t leave... and Ada was there to try to help me but then Felicity and Maud and Enid came and I got distracted but only for a moment - but the first years’  _ infernal pumpkin _ came along and locked us in-”

“You are far too loyal Hecate.” Pippa cut her off angrily. “You should have left and you should never have felt like you needed to sacrifice yourself like that for the school.”

The certainty of Pippa’s declaration makes her stomach churn. She wants to scream that she doesn’t understand because she _couldn’t leave_ _the castle_ so if anything it was Ada who had been making a sacrifice for her not the other way around. But she can’t. “Pippa can we please not do this right now?”

Pippa sighs as she realizes that as much as she wants to get answers to the hundreds of questions she has running through her mind she needs to refocus on getting Hecate warm. “Of course. I’m sorry, let’s get you warmed up.”

With Pippa’s hands firmly holding onto Hecate’s left wrist and elbow to provide stabilizing support they slowly make their way to Hecate’s rooms, stopping a few times along the way for Hecate to rest. When they arrive Pippa lights the fireplace in the living room and guides Hecate to the bathroom. “You go ahead and take a bath and I’ll make some tea.”

Hecate feels a bit unsteady but makes her way into the bathroom. She’s able to magically release her hair from it’s tight bun without difficulty but when Hecate casts the simple series of spells she routinely uses to prepare a bath it goes terribly wrong. Instead of filling the bath with warm water the faucet is pouring ice that envelops the tub and the surrounding surfaces before there’s a terrible crashing noise as the large bathroom mirror shatters around her.

Instantly Pippa is knocking forcefully at the door. “Is everything alright in there? Hecate?” 

It takes a moment for her to gather her bearings and try to process at what point she’d ended up on the floor, but when she does she calls out for help. “I think I need some assistance.” 

“Oh, Hiccup.” Pippa choked after opening the door to reveal the mess before quickly covering her mouth with her fist, immediately regretting the all too apparent pity in her voice. “What happened?”

Hecate takes a deep breath as she tries to stop the shivers running through her body. “The ice drained my magic.” She shudders at Pippa’s gasp of shock but continues to explain. “It seems that while I can feel it coming back it is… quite weak and apparently very unstable.”

“Okay. Just stay there while I sort this out.” Pippa moves cautiously around the room for a few minutes, making sure that she’s gotten all of the broken glass from the floor and has defrosted the tub before running a new bath that she’s charmed to stay a charm to keep the tub at it’s steaming temperature. Satisfied with her work she crouches down next to Hecate and rubs her hands up and down her arms a few times. “Alright, let me help you into the tub.” 

Hecate pulls away immediately, eyes wide with something that Pippa assumes is fear.

“I know that modesty is important to you but I’d really rather not risk you getting hurt any further.” Pippa insists firmly. When Hecate continues to stare at her as if she’s lost her mind she sighs and alters her suggestion. “What if I cast a glamour charm? I could cast it to maintain the appearance of your clothes after you’ve taken them off.”

Hecate thinks on it for a moment before finally giving in. “I suppose that would be… an acceptable solution.”

Pippa smiles softly and casts the glamour with a slight wave of her hand and Hecate has to bite down on her lip to suppress the gasp that threatens to escape as Pippa’s warm magic engulfs her skin. Satisfied with her work she busies herself around the bathroom for a few moments before she realizes that Hecate hasn’t moved. “Is something wrong?”

“Could you… look away? I know you won’t see anything but…” She fumbles through an explanation but thankfully Pippa understands and turns around without complaint. She begins to disrobe, grateful that she’s wearing this blouse and a skirt rather than any of her more intricate dresses as the few buttons on the blouse and the zipper on her skirt proved to be a significant challenge for her locked joints. 

It takes several minutes for her to get up the courage to tell Pippa she’s ready once she’s finished, the reality of Pippa’s eyes on her naked body - even if it appears to her to be fully clothed - floods her mind with the still unprocessed realization she’d had this morning about her own feelings for the blonde witch.

Once she’s safely laying in the bath Pippa casts one final spell - conjuring several soft towels and Hecate’s nightclothes - before making her way to the door. “I’ll be just outside, call out if you need anything.” Pippa said with a small smile before schooling her features and adding, “And  _ please  _ let me help you out of the tub.”

She soaks for over an hour before she gives up on the hot water having any chance of overpowering the sharp cold that’s penetrated her entire being but it takes another thirty minutes for her to summon Pippa back into the room while she feels so exposed. 

Pippa’s careful as she helps her out of the water, looking only where absolutely necessary and Hecate wonders for a moment if the glamour has worn off but Pippa’s magic is sure and steady around her. 

“Would a drying spell be alright?” She asks gently as she looks between the already shaking witch and the pile of warm towels she’d placed on the counter earlier. When Hecate nods she casts the spell while she reaches over for the nightgown she’d placed next to the pile. “May I?” 

Hecate nods and all at once she feels Pippa’s magic around her: nightgown on, glamour removed and then nothing. Her heart sinks at the realization that the small amount of comfort she’d managed to find had been directly tied to the charm and she thinks she’s about to cry when Pippa interrupts her thoughts. 

“Can I help you with your hair?” Pippa asks with a grimace as she gestures toward the now matted mess at Hecate’s back. “When we were younger you preferred to brush it out rather than use a detangling spell but I’m happy to do either.”

Hecate nodded before slowly making her way to sit at the vanity and pointing to the drawer that held her silver hairbrush. It takes longer than she’d expected and she spends most of the time regretting her choice. Her mind wandering to places that she believes it ought not to every time her hand brushes against her neck or collarbone. 

But eventually Pippa finishes detangling her hair and she places the brush down on the vanity and helps her up. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.”

She tries to ignore the overwhelming guilt she feels at the butterflies in her stomach that appear at the combination of those words coming from the same witch that’s wrapping her arms tightly around her waist but it’s far too much to handle. “Pippa I can’t do this.”

“Why ever not?” Pippa asks incredulously, pulling away only slightly so she can read Hecate’s face. 

Hecate tries to push her away more but quickly finds she doesn’t have the strength. Sighing, she closed her eyes tightly. “I just don’t think it’s a very good idea for you to get close to me.”

“Hiccup, do you remember what I said after the Spelling Bee? You have always been the only one I’ve wanted to be friends with.”

“But this-” She gestures slightly toward the bed Pippa has clearly taken the time to warm for her. “-isn’t something that friends do.”

Pippa softens as she realizes that Hecate’s discomfort is coming from a very different place than she’d initially thought. “Are you worried I’m trying to seduce you?” She joked with a sultry smile as she pulled back the comforter.

“I… no…  _ what!? _ ” Hecate sputters as she rapidly backs away, her knees almost immediately buckling underneath her.

“Oh, Hecate. I’m sorry, I was just kidding!” Pippa apologized quickly as she grabbed Hecate’s arms to prevent her from falling. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Nothing more, and definitely nothing that makes you uncomfortable.”

For a moment Hecate is far too distracted by the pain and she allows herself to be helped onto her bed. When she’s caught her breath she opens her eyes to see Pippa standing in front of her, brows knotted in concern. Hecate can hear the trembling in her own voice as she tries to figure out how to ask the question she now desperately needs an answer to. “But you’re not…you don’t… surely the idea of… why would you even suggest that if you...”

“If you’re trying to ask me if I like women, the answer is yes.” Pippa stops her gently.

She feels dizzy at the revelation and she pitches forward, burying her face in her lap in an attempt to keep herself from getting sick.

“I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have told you that right now.” Pippa apologized quietly, her hands wringing with fret. “You’re already overwhelmed and I know you’re very traditional. I’m not ashamed and while it’s important to me that you know this about me I shouldn’t have put this on you right now.”

“No it’s not that…” Hecate gasps as she tries to figure out a way to explain all of the emotions she’s feeling but the words she needs don’t seem to exist. “I’m sorry I…”

“No.” Pippa shakes her head as she kneels down next to her. “You don’t need to apologize. I can go if you’d like. In fact I probably should go. You need to rest and I’ve certainly stepped in it.”

“Did you ever…” Hecate stops her spiraling as she tries to figure out a tactful way to ask the question that’s been racing through her mind, eventually turning her head so she can see Pippa’s reaction and taking the plunge. “Have you ever felt that way about me?”

Pippa blushes but nods. “I did when we were younger. But I understand that you don’t feel that way about me and I’d really like to be friends with you.”

“I want to be your friend Pippa but…” Hecate stops as she pushes herself back into a seated position.“I would very much like to kiss you if that’s okay?” 

Startled by the request Pippa shakes her head furiously. “Hecate I don’t think you understand what I meant. I absolutely don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to just because I-”

“Pipsqueak, _ I  _ would  _ very much _ like to kiss you if that’s okay.” She repeats herself, this time channeling all of her energy into making sure the confidence that she’s feeling comes through in her request.

“Yes.” is Pippa’s breathless reply and it’s only a second before Hecate’s lips are firmly pressed against her own and for a single moment she feels like everything is right in the world but then it’s over and she can’t stop a whimper from escaping her lips.

“I don’t understand.” Pippa wipes furiously at the tears trailing down her cheeks. “If this isn’t… if you’re not serious about this… I can’t... ”

“I am.” Hecate reassures her softly. “I think I’ve always loved you Pippa, I just didn’t understand that that was what it was.” 

“But you must’ve known something.” Pippa insisted, her “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“I couldn’t even begin to explain.” Hecate whispered tiredly, the exhaustion she’s been staving off beginning to take over. “But I want this more than anything.” 

Pippa reaches for her hands, desperate for some connection between the two of them again but is suddenly plunged back into reality by the biting chill of Hecate’s skin against her own. “Oh goddess Hecate! We need to get you warm.”

Hecate wants to argue that it can wait but deep down she knows she’s well beyond her breaking point so she allows Pippa to fuss and soon she’s tucked into bed with a hot water bottle at her feet and one tucked against her torso. Hecate’s just started to feel comfortable for the first time when Pippa turns away and she lets out a strangled “ _ No _ .” 

Pippa turns back immediately and grabs onto Hecate’s outreached hand. “I’m just going to be right there.” She says gently while pointing to the chair in the corner. “I’m not leaving you I promise.”

“I need you closer.” Hecate mumbles as she tries to pull her closer with the little strength she has left.

Pippa smiles softly at her. “I’m not sure that there’s anywhere closer for me to be tonight.”

“In bed.” Hecate replies wearily.

“Hecate I don't think…” Pippa tried to argue but Hecate stops her insistently with an exhausted “Please Pipsqueak, I need you.” and her resolve vanishes entirely. After a quick shower spell for herself and a change into pajamas she rounds the bed and slides in behind Hecate. “Is this okay?”

Hecate manages a quiet “Yes.” before her heavy eyelids fall shut from exhaustion.

* * *

When Hecate wakes up the next morning she’s alone and other than the chill that still runs through her core there’s no evidence that yesterday had been anything more than a dream. The thought alone is enough to send violent sobs through her entire body and when she tries to cast a discovery spell to see if Pippa’s still around and finds nothing she feels so very empty.

But suddenly Pippa’s at her side, her brown eyes wide with fear. “Hecate, what’s wrong? Are you hurting?”

She’s so startled by her appearance that she forgets to breathe. “You weren’t here and the discovery spell said you weren’t here and I... but you’re right here… and...”

“Shhhhh. Breathe darling, breathe.” Pippa calmed her gently, perching next to her on the bed so she can card her fingers through her once again tangled hair. “I’m right here. I was just mirroring with Julie in the other room.” 

It takes a moment for her to calm down but when she does she looks up in confusion. “Julie Hubble?”

Pippa nods. “Darling you’ve been out cold for nearly a week.” She winces at her own choice of words but continues. “Ada and the girls who froze are still having some symptoms but you’ve definitely had it the worst. I’ve been consulting with Julie since she was able to unfreeze Mildred and she’s the only one who’s been fine.” 

“Of course she is.” Hecate sighs as she pulls Pippa closer to her. She’s content to sit quietly and think for a while until she realizes something. “But… when I cast a discovery spell I didn’t find you. if you were only in the next room I should have found you?”

“Your magic is probably suffering like Ada’s was.” Pippa explained softly. “I have some potions for you that should help when you’re ready.”

Hecate nods in understanding but makes no indication that she wants them yet so Pippa stays where she is, slowly detangling Hecate’s dark curls 

Eventually Hecate stops her, gently grabbing Pippa’s hand with her own. “When I woke up… and you weren’t here… I thought… I thought I’d dreamed… everything that happened.”

“Oh?” Pippa asked, trying to feign nonchalance. “Did you think it was a nice dream?”

Hecate’s cheeks pinked up at that and she smiled softly. “Well the majority of it certainly wasn’t but… there was one thing that I would be disappointed about.”

“Yeah?” Pippa asks hopefully and when Hecate nods she leans down and captures her lips passionately, all of her own fears about Hecate regretting kissing her quickly washing away and she feels so full. When she pulls away there are once again tears flowing down her cheeks. “I love you, so much Hiccup.”

Hecate nods and presses her lips to the blonde hair next to her. “And I love you Pipsqueak.”


	13. As Time Passes By

**_December_ **

Yule break has always been a time that Hecate has had to herself, and she’s always been fine with it. However when Pippa found out she planned to spend Yule alone at Cackle’s she’d insisted that she come with her to her parents.

“Hecate they’ll love you.” Pippa tries to convince her during a mirror call a few days before. 

“Well, I am very lovable.” Hecate deadpans before reinforcing her answer. “I would love to come but I have to stay at the castle. No one else is here so it’s my responsibility to maintain the protection wards.”

Pippa huffs a bit at that but decides not to argue further and offers a compromise instead. “Alright. How about I come visit you after the Yule feast?”

She smiles at the suggestion and nods in agreement. “It would be lovely to see you.”

Hecate isn’t at all surprised when Pippa arrives in green and red formal robes with a gift in hand. What she hadn’t expected was for Pippa to also be toting several large dishes filled to the brim with food from her family’s feast. “I didn’t know if you would have eaten but I didn’t want you to miss out.” Pippa explained sheepishly as she lays out the food on the counter. “ If you don’t want it I can just…”

Hecate stops her by capturing her lips with her own. “Thank you. It looks lovely.” 

And it is lovely. They spend the next hour snacking on the food and talking quietly while cuddled closely on the couch by the fire. Hecate’s about to fall asleep when Pippa bolts upright.

“Oh I almost forgot!” Pippa exclaims before summoning a small lantern that contains a small light that Hecate instantly recognizes as part of a Yule log. “I also prepared you this.” She says with a bright smile as she places the light on the table in front of them.

While Hecate had never been one for the Yule traditions she’s highly amused by Pippa’s enthusiasm. “A Yule log trimming I presume?”

“Of course.” Pippa says seriously. “Charmed to burn through the end of the year.”

Hecate tries not to laugh as she thanks her. “You really didn’t need to do this but thank you.”

Pippa instantly “Darling you deserve happiness and togetherness this year just as much as anyone else.”

“I don’t know that that’s true but I can appreciate that you are biased and unable to make an objective assessment.”

Pippa swats her gently but cuddles up closely behind her, placing a firm kiss to her neck. “Of course I’m biased, but I’m also right.”

She relaxes in Pippa’s arms for several minutes before she’s able to form the question that the blonde witch had sparked with her passion moments before. “Do you really believe all that?”

“You don’t?” Pippa asked seriously.

Hecate shrugs uncomfortably. “I don’t know. I’ve never really celebrated Yule so I haven’t ever thought about it. Father has never been one for holidays that he perceived to be frivolous and when Mother was alive she went to Spain to visit her parents. I was never old enough to come.”

Pippa’s quiet as she processes the revelation but she’s confident in her response. “Well then I think next year we need to make sure you have the opportunity to do so. If for no other reason so you inherently lose your current defense against loving my favorite holiday.”

“I suppose that would be acceptable.” Hecate replies with a smirk.

Satisfied with the agreement Pippa pulls gently on Hecate’s shoulder until she turns so they’re facing each other. “Happy Yule Hiccup.” 

“Happy Yule Pipsqueak.” 

* * *

**_February_ **

They’ve developed a comfortable Sunday routine. In the morning Pippa flies to Cackle’s since Hecate has meal duty during Sunday lunch and they catch up while playing chess until Hecate needs to go down to supervise the girls. She then brings back up tea and lunch for them to share and they spend the afternoon catching up on work together until Pippa makes her leave.

This Sunday is no different and Hecate’s dreading what she expects will be a soon departure from Pippa when the blonde witch sits up from her reclined position on the couch across from her and firmly declares a change in her plans. “Let’s go into the village.”

Internally Hecate panics but she maintains her stoic demeanor as she makes eye contact with her girlfriend and raises a single eyebrow. “Pippa it’s freezing out.”

Pippa rolls her eyes as she puts her maglet down on the coffee table. “Yes and I would like to go get something warm and delicious to eat for supper with you before I fly home.”

Avoiding eye contact, Hecate gestures noncommittally toward the large pile of papers next to her. “I just don’t think with all of this grading I really have time.” 

“Why don’t you want to go out with me?” Pippa whines as she gets up to stand above her, crossing her arms in disapproval.

She’s not particularly surprised with the direction this has taken. Pippa has been trying to convince Hecate to visit her at Pentangle’s or to just go out somewhere, _anywhere_ , for the last month and her excuses have become increasingly pathetic which has led to a string of arguments that she doesn’t see a foreseeable end to. “Can we please not do this again?” Hecate asks tiredly, not looking up from the paper in front of her. 

“It’s just…” Pippa sighs as she sits down in the same lounge chair as Hecate, adjusting so she’s holding the stack of papers that had been sitting next to her. “I worry about you. I don’t want to force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with but I know all too well what causes this kind of anxiety.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t follow?” Hecate lied immediately, transferring the paper she’s finished grading to the table and reaching out for the next paper in the stack.

Pippa’s quiet for a while before she speaks again and when she does her voice is shakier than Hecate had expected. “When I was younger I had really bad anxiety about going out with my partner after I was raped and I worry that you’re afraid of going out because something bad happened to you.”

Hecate stiffened immediately. While her life had largely desensitized her from being surprised by abuse and violence the thought of anyone hurting Pippa makes her stomach turn in a horrible way. Her grading now long forgotten she transports the stack of papers that had been in her lap down to her lab and she moves so she’s holding her close.

When Pippa speaks again she’s trying rather unsuccessfully to mask her emotions. “I probably shouldn’t have brought this up but when I ask you to go out with me I see the same things I felt for years in your eyes and it scares me.” It’s then that the tears start to fall. “I’m sorry, I thought… it was so long ago I didn’t think I would still... I’m meant to be helping you and here I am babbling like an idiot.”

“No, no, no.” Hecate stops her quickly, pressing her lips to her forehead gently. “You’ve been there for me through so much and I want to be here for you, right now and always okay?” Pippa nods as Hecate reaches up to wipe her tears away. 

Pippa nods and they settle into a comfortable embrace, Hecate gently rubbing her back while she cries into her shoulder. When Pippa seems to have calmed down she pulls away slightly so she can see her face again before cautiously asking, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Pippa’s firm in her response but when she sees Hecate’s puzzled reaction she takes the time to elaborate. “I’d just rather not. I spent years in therapy afterwards and honestly there’s nothing I have to say about it that I haven’t already had the chance to.”

Her admission makes Hecate’s heart race and at first she thinks that it’s from surprise at how comfortable Pippa is admitting that she’s seen a mind healer. Therapy is a rather uncommon and somewhat taboo practice in the magical community today and from what she’s been able to gather this was likely decades ago. However she quickly realizes that while she may be somewhat surprised, the driving force she’s feeling is jealousy.

Before she has a chance to think further on that point Pippa’s whispering quietly into her chest. “I just worry that maybe… you haven’t had the same opportunity and that you’re holding something inside.”

In that moment she desperately wants to tell her everything and she thinks she’s about to when she hears herself snapping at Pippa. “Why does something have to be wrong with me for me to not want to go out tonight? Just mind your business.”

Pippa instantly pulls away, eyes wide in confusion. While this type of behavior had been common early on in their reconciliation she can’t remember the last time she’d snapped at her like this and more than anything it worries her more. “Hiccup?”

“I’m sorry.” She’s immediately apologizing as she removes herself from the chair and starts pacing around the room. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

Pippa’s next to her in a second, strong arms wrapping around her shaking form. “I’m really worried about you.”

Hecate sighs as she leans into her arms. “I have a lot to work through.” Hecate admits quietly, her heart pounding in her chest. “But I can’t talk about it and that’s not fair to you.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” Pippa tries to assure her gently, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before grabbing onto her hands and leading her towards the kitchen. “Let’s just make dinner here tonight. How do you feel about a curry?”

Hecate feels terrible for how she’s acted and part of her wants to try and explain but she knows that she’s been given an out and she takes it. “Curry sounds wonderful.”

* * *

_**June** _

“Hecate what brings you down here this early in the morning?” Ada asks as her deputy makes her way into the office early one morning, something that had become increasingly common in the weeks since term ended. “You do know that you’re allowed to sleep in during summer holiday?”

Hecate’s all business as she approaches Ada’s desk and hands her a piece of parchment. “I’m finalizing the order for the new equipment I’ll need for the lab next term and I need your signature.” When Ada continues to stare her down she sighs and answers the second question. “I also don’t sleep in, which you already know.”

“One can’t help but try to convince you of its merits.” Ada smiles as she picks up her quill to sign the order form that she’s sure she doesn’t need to review. When she’s finished she appears to be ready to return it when she looks up at Hecate with a knowing gaze. “Is that all?” 

Hecate looks down at the floor hoping she’s not become as predictable as Ada’s tone implied. “I also wanted to make sure it’s alright if Miss Pentangle visits this afternoon.”

“Hecate I know that you are one to stick firmly to the rules but the requirement that faculty ask my permission to have visitors is really intended to keep me informed during term.” Ada smiled as she handed Hecate back the signed form. “It seems a bit redundant at this point for you to ask me every other morning if it’s alright if Miss Pentangle visits.”

She blushes slightly at the observation but is relieved to hear that she won’t need to continue to air her affairs quite so publicly. “Of course Ada. Thank you.”

Pippa arrives later than expected that afternoon on her broomstick with a large basket tied to the back. Hecate’s been waiting for her in the courtyard since noon but she can’t manage to be short with her when Pippa flies down just next to her and leans down from her perch on her broom to give her a kiss.

Pippa pulls away and she’s a bit breathless when she whispers into her ear. “Hi.”

“Hello.” Hecate greets her as she pulls away to allow her to dismount her broom. “I missed you.”

Pippa smiles as she gracefully places her broom on the stand next to them. “I’m sorry I’m late. I got a call from a distressed parent - a non-magical mother whose son is going through what seems to be quite the magical growth spurt - and I just couldn’t leave her hanging.”

“Certainly not.” Hecate confirms, her eyebrows clearly betraying her surprise at Pippa’s straightforward willingness in admitting that she’d been providing extra help to a student. When Pippa smirks at her expression she rolls her eyes but asks the question that’s on her mind. “Is that normal? For them to call like that?” 

Pippa shrugs. “Sometimes. It really depends on the parent, but I’ve found that there are a lot of parts of growing witches and wizards that we take for granted that non-magical folks find quite unsettling.” She elaborates. “So I got a mobile phone a few years back. I give the non-magical parents the number so they have a way to contact me.”

Hecate seems to ponder this for a moment before she asks another question. “Isn’t it a bit much having parents who don’t understand your job contacting you every time they’re concerned?”

“As much as I love discussing work during our time together...” Pippa cuts her off in jest. “I have a plan for us this afternoon. We are having a picnic.”

Hecate looks genuinely surprised at this revelation. “A picnic?”

Pippa nods eagerly as she points to the basket she’d prepared before she left. “I made you lunch and we’re going to enjoy this wonderful weather out by the pond.”

Hecate smiles as she remembers the warm spring days they’d spent studying by the pond as girls. “That sounds lovely.”

“Do you need to change?” Pippa asks as she appraises Hecate’s outfit - a long sleeved black dress that fell to the ground. It was made of a lighter fabric than those she wore during term but she wasn’t at all convinced that it was appropriate for an afternoon out in the sun and it was a stark contrast to her white shorts and short-sleeved pink blouse.

“No. I’ll be fine.” Hecate assures her with a quick peck on the cheek. “Let’s go.”

The lunch is wonderful and they spend nearly an hour after they’ve finished eating laying on the pink gingham blanket Pippa had brought with her cloud watching while talking about nothing in particular. Pippa’s just finished explaining how she could possibly see a raven ‘clear as day’ in the middle of a large grouping of clouds when she sits up and moves closer to Hecate.

“Pipsqueak what are you doing?” Hecate asks as her girlfriend climbs up on top of her, straddling her lap. 

“I want you to kiss me.” Pippa replies simply as she leans down and presses a quick peck to her nose.

“Here?” Hecate asks in surprise, looking around as if she expects someone to walk past at any moment.

“Yes here.” Pippa insists as she presses kisses up her sleeve. “Not having students around during the summer has to come with some advantages for us doesn’t it?”

She doesn’t want to argue with that so she sighs and nods, allowing Pippa to capture her lips in hers again, and again, and again.

When Pippa begins to fiddle with the hems of her sleeves there’s a hitch in her breath that Pippa interprets as pleasure and takes as a cue to continue her ministrations. Hecate’s quickly distracted by Pippa’s lips on her neck and she’s able to relax again until she suddenly stops and whispers, “Oh Hiccup.” her voice is full of pity rather than affection.

Suddenly the breeze against her bare forearms is all too obvious and she gasps as she tries to reach to pull her sleeves back down, quickly realizing Pippa is in her way. She’s unwilling to make eye contact with her girlfriend that is still mostly on top of her as she grinds out. “Can you get off me?”

“Oh.” Pippa swiftly rolls to the side until she’s on her stomach next to Hecate when she sits up and pulls the edge of her sleeves down to cover not only the scars on her forearms but a solid portion of her hands. It doesn’t seem like she should say anything but she’s overwhelmed by the need to apologize. “I’m sorry if I had known I never would have-”

“You didn't know because I didn’t want you to.” Hecate snaps, but her response is tinged with so much bitterness and exhaustion that Pippa thinks she’s more embarrassed than anything.

Pippa nods immediately. “That's absolutely your right. I shouldn’t have assumed it was okay and I’m sorry.” 

Hecate looks surprised by her response but she doesn’t say anything. Instead she stares, examining Pippa’s all too perfectly tan arms and legs that she realizes Pippa has never felt the need to hide from her and she’s suddenly overwhelmed by an intense feeling of inadequacy. 

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to tell me or show me anything you aren’t ready to.” Pippa interrupts her thoughts. “But if it’s alright I’d like to show you something?”

Hecate looks over at her quizzically for a moment before bobbing her head in approval. “I suppose that would be alright.”

Pippa pushes herself up and moves into a seated position, her legs folded neatly underneath her before she reaches down and pulls up the bottom of her blouse to expose the skin of the lower half of her stomach that contrasts harshly against a dark scar on her right side that appears to extend around her side and to her back. 

Hecate’s eyes widen but she doesn’t say anything so Pippa starts to explain. “When I was at Weirdsister I spent some time training with Belinda Ebonywood.” Hecate is surprised that she recognizes the name as the author of one of her preferred texts on rare potions ingredients. She’d thought Pippa had studied chanting during her time at college before pursuing an education degree in modern witchcraft. 

Sensing Hecate’s confusion she clarifies. “I started as a potions student before I transferred into chanting - partially as a result of this.”

“What happened?” Hecate finally asks as she closely examines the focal point of the dark purple mark that’s just under Pippa’s ribcage and the dark web that seems to radiate from it.

Pippa blushes slightly with Hecate’s eyes so focused on a part of her body that few people have seen but she continues without faltering. “There was an incident while we were travelling abroad in Qatar. I had a run-in with what turned out to be a rather cursed giant solanum elaeagnifolium plant.”

“Silverleaf nightshade.” Hecate whispers quietly. The plant was relatively common in many regions of the world but had never been consistently used due to it’s variable toxicity. She remembers reading Belinda Ebonywood’s work on the plant as an antispasmodic in pain relieving potions and balms but she doesn’t recall any mention of something that could cause this kind of damage.

Pippa nods. “Normally it’s quite safe to handle - especially if you know what you’re doing - but this particular plant had been enchanted to ward off a coven that had been stealing rare potions ingredients from the local village. When I tried to take a clipping it attacked me and one of the branches stabbed me here.” She stops to point at the darkest point of the scar. “Which subjected me to the enchantment-”

“Which left an irreparable scar.” Hecate finished for her. “Meant to mark you as a thief.”

Pippa sighs sadly at how quickly her girlfriend is able to pick up on the intent of such malice. “I was lucky. A local wizard was working with us and he helped us stop the spread before the curse made it very far.” She then begins to trace the longest part of the scar that reaches up towards her right arm. “These lines were meant to carry on until they reached my hands, making it impossible for me to cast without being identified.”

“May I?” Hecate’s shaky hand is reaching out toward Pippa’s and after a slight nod of confirmation she covers Pippa’s hand with her own and gently begins tracing the scar back down to it’s center. She rests her hand there for a few minutes before the next question falls off her tongue. “Does it hurt?”

Shaking her head Pippa takes Hecate’s hand in her own. “No. At least not physically, and not as much anymore. But I expect you understand what that’s like.”

“I’m sorry I’m not ready to share my past with you.” Hecate whispers as she ducks her head in shame and tries to pull her hand back towards herself. “You deserve someone who doesn’t feel like they have to hide from you.”

“No darling, no.” Pippa stops her by pressing a firm kiss against her knuckles. “I don’t need to know everything that’s happened to you to know that I am head over heels for the witch you’ve become. I showed you this because I want you to understand that there’s nothing you could tell me about your past that could make me stop loving you for who you are now not because I expect you to tell me things you’d rather not.”

Hecate’s heart is torn in half by the declaration as a part of her soars with relief and love at Pippa’s willingness to love her without explanation while the other breaks into pieces because her promise to love her despite her past is one that she does not believe would be kept if all came to light. But that dark part of her mind is something that Hecate decides is to be dealt with another day. It seemed like such a shame to waste such a lovely present day thinking about an unchangeable past.

So Hecate moves closer to Pippa, a sly grin on her face. “Now where were we?” She asks while gently pushing Pippa’s shoulder back until she’s laying on top of her. “I think we were doing something rather important.”

Pippa smiles as Hecate’s lips press against her own. “Why yes, yes we were.”

* * *

**_August_ **

As with every year Cackle’s selection day is more eventful than Hecate thinks it has any right to be. While it certainly hadn’t reached the levels of excitement of Mildred Hubble’s year an incident with several young witches confusing crushed mandrake root for crushed ginger while Hecate had been momentarily out of the lab had led to a stressful - but thankfully not disastrous - afternoon. She’s certain that she’s all but ready to collapse from exhaustion but when Hecate makes her way back to her rooms and finds the door between her small living area and her bedroom open her heart rate spikes.

Prepared to cast if necessary she partially apparated into her bedroom so she can observe anyone who may be in her room without being seen herself. It’s only a moment before Hecate sighs in relief when she realizes that the potential intruder is actually quite welcome when she sees her girlfriend curled up on the bed.

Fully transferring into the room she smiles as she moves to greet her. “Pippa I didn’t know you were coming today-” But she stops when she gets closer and she notices her streaked makeup and wet cheeks. “Oh! Darling, what’s happened?”

Pippa tries to explain but she’s gasping between sobs and she’s turned so red that Hecate’s worried she’ll pass out. “Okay, it’s okay. Let’s focus on breathing.” She says gently as she pulls Pippa’s hand over her own on her chest. “Just follow my breaths love. You can do it… just in… and out… very good. Again...” Hecate guides her breathing for several minutes until she’s sure Pippa has regained some control. 

Hecate tries to calm her own racing mind as she climbs into her bed behind Pippa, pulling her close in her arms, but she’s finding it impossible to ignore the questions that are piling up.

_What if someone’s hurt her?_

_What if she’s realized that she’s too good for me?_

_What if she’s mad that I still haven’t come to visit Pentangle’s?_

_What if someone’s told her why I haven’t gone to visit her?_

_Is she breaking up with me?_

_How will I handle this heartbreak?_

Eventually Pippa breaks the silence and her spiraling thoughts with a quiet whisper. “My Mum’s sick. Like... really sick.”

And Hecate’s heart breaks, just not in the way she’d expected. “Oh Pips.” She wraps her arms even tighter around her. “There is… absolutely nothing I can say to make this better.” She can feel Pippa’s head nod against her arm as she begins crying again and she wonders if she should have tried to comfort her anyway when Pippa speaks again.

“There’s nothing.” She affirms quietly. “And I came here because I know you… I know you understand that. But I have to go soon.”

Hecate can feel her own tears threatening to fall as she presses her lips into Pippa’s hair. “You’re going to be with her?” She asks quietly.

“Yes.” Pippa confirms as she turns to face her. “Papa’s been asking me to come visit for months and I’ve been putting it off. I don’t really know why - I think I was just so happy here with you and I didn’t want to put any distance between us. But this morning he called and told me she’s… my Mum’s dying Hiccup.”

Her heart breaks even further when she hears that she may have inadvertently prevented Pippa from spending time with her dying mother. “I’m so sorry.” 

Pippa’s quiet for a while before she speaks again but when she does her tone has shifted. She’s clearly trying to tamp down her emotions in favor of practicality. “The healer says she only has a few months left so I’ll be taking a sabbatical. My parents have apparently been staying with my Aunt in York - my Mum’s always loved it there - so I’ll be too far to be able to manage going back and forth between the school and them.”

“You should absolutely take the time Pips.” Hecate assures her. “Your school will be there when you get back.”

Pippa nods as she continues. “I trust my deputy and my teachers. I just… I don’t know you’re never really prepared to put your whole life on hold are you?”

“I don’t think so.” Hecate confirms.

It’s then that Pippa sits up, putting some distance between the two of them as if she’s afraid of Hecate’s reaction to whatever she’s about to say. “It will also mean I can’t really come visit you.”

“Oh.” Hecate feels a knot start to form in her stomach at the certainty with which she says it. She’s not sure if she wants to laugh or cry so she instead focuses all of her energy into being as supportive as possible. “That’s okay. I understand.”

But Pippa reaches out to take her hands in her own. “It’s not okay.” She insists her expression filled with a profound sense of grief. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“We can mirror everyday if you’d like.” Hecate offers but she can feel how pathetic it sounds as she does. 

Pippa smiles weakly for a moment before tears begin to fall again. “I was hoping... I know this is selfish but I was hoping that perhaps you may be willing to visit me?”

The knot in her stomach tightens and she thinks she may be sick. Pippa’s eyes are wet with tears but clearly full of hope at the prospect that Hecate may overcome what she believes to be a severe case of agoraphobia that keeps her inside Cackle’s grounds. And if Hecate could simply overcome some fear that she has to be able to visit Pippa she would do it in a heartbeat. But that’s not the case, and it will never be the case, so she lies. “Of course I’ll come visit you.”

And the light it brings to her eyes is almost worth it as Pippa looks at her in shock. “Really?!”

So she lies again. “Yes. Yes, of course.”

“Oh Hiccup.” Pippa leans down and kisses her intensely, pouring all of her grief, joy, and gratitude into it. “Thank you.”

Hecate manages a comforting smile as she tries to help Pippa forget, even for a moment, about the pain she’s going to be feeling for the foreseeable future and truthfully it serves as a distraction for herself too. But when Pippa falls asleep and she’s left alone with her thoughts she suddenly realizes exactly what she’s done.

_Well shit._


	14. As a Stranger in my Own Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episodes: S3:E1-E3

**_September_ **

“How could you even consider allowing this?!” Somewhere deep down Hecate knows she’s yelling at her boss and how inappropriate that is but she can’t seem to help it. The Great Wizard is once again wreaking havoc on her life and this is far too much to bear.

Ada for her part has managed to keep her cool so far, allowing Hecate to process her own feelings through argumentation, but she’s approaching the end of her rope. “Hecate I understand that this is challenging for you but I’m not really in a position to question The Great Wizard’s judgement, am I? Not after everything that happened last year.”

“Challenging?” Hecate stops pacing and looks Ada squarely in the eyes. “You think I find it challenging that one of our students is going to be given a wishing star - the most powerful potion in the known universe - for winning a bloody broomstick flying competition? I don’t find it challenging, I find it absolutely reprehensible. You are putting our students’ lives at risk. You are giving them the opportunity to ruin their futures and the futures of anyone they happen to come in contact with. This is a grossly negligent dismissal of our responsibility to the witches in our care.”

When Hecate runs out of air Ada looks up at her from her chair with a pointed look. “Are you quite finished?”

“I suppose so.” Hecate bites back, fully aware that if Ada hasn’t been convinced by now she’s unlikely to be persuaded by further arguments along this line.

Ada sighs as she motions for Hecate to sit across from her and when she’s seated Ada continues. “While I am sympathetic to your concerns I do not believe that your unfortunate experience should preclude other students from having the opportunity themselves.”

“Ada.” Hecate is out of her seat like a shot. “This isn’t an opportunity our girls are capable of understanding the gravity of. What if one the winning student uses the wishing star in a way that puts the entire school in danger? We already know that this type of magic shouldn’t be tampered with because it often cannot be reversed. Why would you expect any of our students-”

“Hecate my decision has been made.” Ada stops her suddenly. “I understand that you are not going to agree with me on this and I understand why but I will not be picking fights with The Great Wizard on your behalf again do you understand?”

She can feel her body stiffen as her thoughts continue to race and it takes several minutes for her to respond. When she does her voice is as cold as ice and her magic is reverberating around the room. “I understand Headmistress.” 

Somewhere in her mind she’s aware of Ada calling after her, “Hecate wait-” but she’s far too focused on getting out of there to stop the transference spell that she’s already cast and it’s a relief when Ada’s voice is drowned out by the crackling of her magic as she remateralizes in her rooms.

Her landing is far from elegant and she stumbles in a last ditch attempt to regain her balance before giving up entirely and falling to her knees. It strikes her that the once all too familiar feeling of her knees crashing against the hardwood floor had become foregin to her over the months since she and Pippa had reconciled. Whenever she’d been overwhelmed instead of bottling it inside she’d had somewhere to take her feelings, and certainly more importantly someone who she knew wouldn’t dismiss them. 

Briefly she considers calling Pippa but she knows doing so would be incredibly unfair. Since Pippa had left to be with her mother they’d maintained a fairly regular mirror schedule, but their conversations had changed dramatically. Hecate did her best to comfort Pippa as she tried to manage the unmanageable. She tried to answer her questions about what it was like when her own mother was sick and how she dealt with the inevitable consequences but ultimately their lives were too different for her to provide any real insight or comfort. Hecate had only been a girl when her mother died and she’d been virtually alone in her grief with a father that was entirely uninterested in her and Pippa was a grown accomplished witch who had spent her entire life with two supportive and loving parents. 

At times it makes her want to scream.

To make matters worse she can feel the tension building with each call. She knows that soon Pippa will ask when she’s coming to visit and she has absolutely no clue how to handle the question. She knows that she shouldn’t have promised to visit her. She should have hedged, citing the unpredictability of the girls and her duties as deputy head as reasons why she couldn’t commit with certainty. But she’d panicked, and she’d lied. And because she’d lied she can’t ask Pippa for help. Not right now, and certainly not with anything related to a wishing star.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a chime from the mirror across the room and she knows without looking that it has to be Pippa. The chime is insistent as she tries to think through whether or not she can pull herself together enough to be there for her. But her mind is still racing and she knows that her answering the call in her current state will only add to Pippa’s emotional load so for the first time since Pippa left, Hecate ignores her call. 

* * *

The term had barely begun and Hecate already wasn’t sure how she’d make it through. Between the wishing star competition and Mildred’s recent acquisition of a canine familiar she’d already been at her wit’s end when Ada had informed her that she’d decided to go through with her plan to take Julie Hubble on as Miss Mould’s replacement. While she’d managed to confiscate the wishing star before either of the girls had a chance to do any real damage, it’s existence in the castle had made rest all but impossible. She’d spent every moment since the wishing star had been temporarily awarded to Mildred terrified that she might be tempted to make the same terrible mistake that she had and Julie’s arrival only served to amplify that fear.

She’d also been dodging requests from Pippa to visit her at her parents by making increasingly pathetic excuses for why she couldn’t take a weekend away from the school and in an attempt to make up for it she’d been mirroring with Pippa every night while she did her grading. She’d done her best to keep the conversations light, well aware that the stress Pippa was already under needed no company. Unfortunately tonight she’d done a poor job of hiding her exhaustion and irritation and Pippa asking if she was alright had broken the last of her resolve to keep the latest developments at Cacke’s from her.

“I don’t understand what Ada’s playing at here. Hiring a non-magical teacher is a disaster waiting to happen.” Hecate griped. 

“I think you’ll find that Julie Hubble is a lovely woman.” Pippa replies with a smile. “I visited her and Mildred some this past summer - just to help out with the magical to non-magical adjustment now that Mildred’s older and has more magic to contend with - and she’s genuinely wonderful company.”

Hecate can feel her jaw hanging open in shock at Pippa’s response and she snaps it closed quickly. “Since when are you friends with Julie Hubble?”

Pippa cringes at the question as she realizes she’ll have to reveal something she’d been keeping from her for a while. “Honestly we have kept in touch since we worked together to help you after the incident with the founding stone.”

Hecate wracks her brain as she tries to figure out how much contact they could have possibly had during that process. She’d been unconscious for several days but Pippa had made it seem as if it hadn’t been that big of a deal. Eventually she looks back to the mirror and exasperatedly admits her confusion. “I don’t understand.”

Pippa sighs, a small frown taking up residence on her face as she tries to figure out how to explain what had really happened. “I may have led you to believe that your condition for the days after the founding stone was extinguished was less severe than it had been.” She stops for a moment before continuing. “Julie and I worked together non-stop to keep you alive for several days. Your magic just wasn’t regenerating and we didn’t know why so we were using a combination of modern and traditional healing alongside some non-magical medicine to try and keep you alive.”

Hecate is quiet for some time. The anger she’d expected to feel at the revelation was surprisingly absent and it takes her a moment to realize that she mostly just feels confused. “Why would you keep something like this from me?” 

Pippa’s embarrassed as she realizes exactly how poorly her justification is going to be received at this moment but at this point Hecate deserves the truth. “It was at Ada’s request.”

Hecate laughs tiredly at that. “Of course it was.”

“I agreed with her at the time but I didn’t really know you then, not like I do now.” Pippa stops and takes several shaky breaths before she continues. “Ada believed that you would be uncomfortable with Julie caring for you and she figured that since you were doing better after you came to that there was no point in adding the stress of it to the situation.”

It takes a few moments but there’s a sudden look of recognition on Hecate’s face. “It’s not just that I would be uncomfortable with Julie caring for me - it’s what she saw isn’t it?”

“Hiccup-” Pippa began to apologize before she was quickly cut off. 

“What did she see?” The anger that had been mysteriously absent was crashing down around her as she tried to ascertain exactly how much of her personal history - a history that she’d tried so hard to keep from Pippa - a parent of one of her students and newest colleague had been privy to.

Pippa avoids eye contact as she fills in the details she has. “I don’t know for sure darling - I wasn’t in the room when she saw whatever she saw. But I overheard her asking Ada about some scars that she was concerned about-”

“What did she tell you?” Hecate stopped her once again.

Pippa shook her head firmly. “As soon as I realized what they were discussing I left. I didn’t want to know anything you hadn’t wanted to tell me.”

Hecate is pensive for a moment before she speaks again. “So that day by the pond you already knew about the scars. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It didn’t seem my place.” Pippa admits quietly. “I see now that that may feel like dishonesty and I’m really sorry about that. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable or-”

“I need some time.” Hecate hears herself stopping Pippa’s apology before she can register the implications of her request right now. “Give my best to your parents.”

* * *

**_November_ **

The moment she heard the words  _ “The wishing star is missing.” _ out of Ethel Hallow’s mouth her heart had stopped. The only people who knew that the wishing star was in confiscation were the three witches currently in the room and Mildred Hubble, and while Ethel Hallow may be many things she’s not clever enough to accuse someone else of a theft she’d committed.

“I realized straight away. When I came to tell you that I’d finished my essay, and the cupboard was open.” Ethel said with a smug smile as she pointed to the open confiscation cupboard in Ada’s office.

Ada seems suspicious and she briefly glances at Hecate to read her entirely blank expression before turning her attention back to Ethel. “Are you sure it was open? I think I would have noticed-”

“Miss Cackle.” Hecate finally manages to interrupt as she closes the cupboard with shaky hands. “We have a thief.”

Ethel is all too satisfied when she makes her next announcement. “I have witnessed activity today that may suggest that the wishing star has already been used.”

That alone is enough to make Hecate’s mind race to the exact scenario she’d been insisting to Ada that they do everything they could to prevent and she can tell that Ada’s thinking the same thing by the guilty look on her face. So when Ethel adds “May I suggest that you speak to the Hubbles.” Hecate can’t control herself any longer and she transfers herself and Ada to her rooms before launching into a panicked rant.

“I tried to get you to help me protect that girl and you wouldn’t listen. You’re far too willing to believe the best in that girl when she’s always posed this sort of danger. If Mildred Hubble has done what we think she has in addition to being a criminal she’ll be an orphan. How are we supposed to protect her from this?”

Ada places her hands firmly on Hecate’s shoulders as she tries to calm her down. “We don’t know for certain that Mildred used the star at all, not to mention that she used it to give Julie magic. There’s no use in going down this road until we know it’s the case.”

Hecate nods seriously as she casts a discovery spell. “Mildred and Julie are in the art room.”

“Are you ready to transfer us there?” Ada asks gently as she tries to quell the panic in her own chest.

There’s another curt nod before Hecate transfers herself and Ada to the art classroom speaking harshly the moment they finished materializing in front of the Hubbles. “We have reason to believe that there is a thief in our midst.”

Mildred looks nervous at her arrival and accusation but Julie takes it in stride. “Well, that’s a very strong accusation, Miss Hardbroom. I hope you’ve got proof.”

Hecate’s overwhelmed by the obstiance from a woman she’s been trying to both avoid and protect for the past several weeks and before she can come up with a response Star comes tearing through the classroom followed quickly by Sybil and Clarice.

“He’s had a truth cookie, he’s on the scent of the thief!” Clarice exclaimed by way of explanation when she noticed all of the teachers in the room and Hecate can feel her hands shaking at the realization of what it means.

“Will that suffice?” She bites looking back at the Hubbles with determination.

Mildred cringes as she awkwardly tries to dismiss the situation. “Maybe he was just being friendly?”

Ada steps in then, her voice stern and her expression full of guilt. “Mildred, what do you know about the whereabouts of the wishing star?”

“Wishing Star?” Sybil asks, clearly confused. ”But we’re looking for-” 

“I’m sorry, Miss Cackle-” Mildred starts an apology before Star whines and races back out of the room.

And suddenly she finds herself chasing after  _ a dog _ in hopes of finding a shred of evidence that disproves her concern that Mildred Hubble has replicated her own biggest regret. There’s quite a lot of arguing that she doesn’t quite follow and she’s not at all sure what to think when they've arrived at the conclusion that Maria Tapioca but suddenly Mildred speaks up.

“No wait. She didn’t take the wishing star.” Mildred stops her “It was-”

She doesn’t breathe until Julie’s voice grabs her attention. “It was me.” 

Hecate makes the accusation before she can really consider it and is angrily yelling, “You stole the wishing star!” as she realizes it would still likely mean the same outcome. Julie doesn’t have magic so she would have needed Mildred’s help to achieve an outcome.

“Well, not exactly.” Julie stops her spiraling with an awkward chuckle. “Um, I went into the office to file the attendance reports, like Miss Hardbroom said, but I didn’t know where they went. So, I opened a cupboard and the potion went all over me. Yeah. It took three washes to get that supernatural glow out of my best top.”

“Miss Cackle, Miss Hardbroom, surely you don’t believe that?” Ethel protests in frustration as Hecate tries to process the story she’s been told.

Eventually Hecate manages to voice her conclusion. “It is all too believable for a Hubble.”

The last thing she’s aware of is Ada attempting to end the confrontation with a tired, “Well, if we’re quite done here...” and a discussion about how to make things right with Maria that she can’t concentrate on before she transfers to her room and sits down at the mirror for the first time in over a month. 

“Hecate!” Pippa’s clearly surprised when she answers the call but her tone shifts quickly when she notices the tears streaming down her face. “Oh dear, what’s happened?”

“I just needed to hear your voice.” Hecate chokes out with a small sob. “I’m sorry it’s not fair of me to call you like this but I didn’t know what else to do.”

Pippa’s shaking her head fiercely at the apology. “Darling you never have to apologize for this. I want to be here for you.”

“But I… I cut you off. When you needed my support.” Hecate protested anxiously. “I shouldn’t have done that and I especially shouldn’t have done it with everything you’re dealing with right now.”

Pippa smiled sadly at her justification and she adjusted her position so she was slightly closer to the mirror. “Hiccup I need you to listen to me. I hurt you and you needed time to process it and that requires no apology no matter what else is going on.”

Hecate’s shoulders drop slightly as some of the tension falls from them and she sighs in relief that she hadn’t ruined everything. “Thank you, for understanding. And for still… being here.”

“Of course.” Pippa reassured her firmly. “Now you look like you could use a distraction. Would you like to hear about my trip with my parents to Cairo last month?”

Truth be told stories of anyone, let alone Pippa, traveling the world always make her feel like an interloper but she’s thankful that Pippa’s offered a distraction that she so desperately needs so she manages a small smile and a nod before settling into her chair.

_ Mum wanted to see an old friend for Halloween and somehow convinced us that we should all go without mentioning the fact that Tempest Graeme moved to Egypt last year. But you know me and Papa, we weren’t about to let her down so we managed to set up a long distance transport point for the occasion - I owe you one for teaching me about those fifth year by the way - and it was absolutely lovely. Oh Hiccup you would love Marfasa. It’s home to a small witching village just outside of Cairo with a coven that predominantly practices magic with a small number of potions that were said to have been developed by Cleopatra herself... _


	15. As a Permanent Reminder of My Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S3:E7 "Bad Magic"
> 
> TW: Death of a parent

It’s been several months since Julie joined the teaching staff at Cackle’s and Hecate has managed to become fairly comfortable with the situation. While she’s not quite sure if it’s ever something she would recommend she has to admit that Julie’s presence has kept Mildred out of her hair more often than not and it has given Julie a better sense of the magical community as a whole which she expects will benefit Mildred in the long run.

In fact it had been a considerable amount of time since Mildred had had anything that she could truly classify as a crisis so she’s somewhat surprised when Mildred comes racing around the corner with a shaky voice calling her name. “Miss Hardbroom!”

“Yes?”

“The wishing star…” Mildred’s voice is shaking even more than before as she makes her breathless confession. “...it didn’t get broken. I took it.”

And she understands immediately. As soon as the words are out of her mouth she’s certain of exactly what has happened. But she needs to hear it from Mildred. Needs to know that her fears have been correct and it takes all of her strength to whisper a quiet, “What?”

“I used it to make my mum magical.”

_ I know Mildred. _

“I thought she had given up her powers…”

_ She lied to you Mildred. _

“...but I was wrong and now she’s turning people tiny and putting them into her clay model…”

_ How long has this been going on Mildred? How long do I have to protect you Mildred? _

“... and I don’t know why she’d do that.”

_ Because she’s not in control of herself Mildred. _

“Miss Hardbroom?”

_ I thought I taught you better than this Mildred. I thought I’d taught you not to make this mistake. _

“Miss Hardbroom?” Mildred’s voice comes back into focus and can tell from Mildred's face that her own expression is betraying the terror she feels inside. “I’m sorry.”

Everything still feels out of focus but now is certainly not the time for her  _ feelings _ on the matter so she transfers herself and Mildred to the art classroom, hoping that by forcing herself into some sort of action she’ll be able to concentrate further. 

It doesn’t really work. Once again Mildred is babbling and her mind is racing along with her.

_ Oh, Ada. _

“It’s really them, isn’t it, Miss Hardbroom?”

_ Mildred these are your friends, you know as well as I do it’s them. _

“But you can get them out again, can’t you?”

_ I don’t know Mildred. But I can try. _

And she tries. But the model is surrounded by a neutralization charm - intentionally cast to keep anyone from stopping her. She feels a pang of guilt as she remembers asking Julie to help Mildred review the spell herself a little over a month ago. If she’d had any idea that this was even still a possibility she never would have provided her with such specific instructions.

She tries to explain the situation to Mildred impersonally. She wants to keep her own history out of it. But when Mildred insists that, “It’s my mum, she’ll listen.” as Hecate explains what is happening and she turns to see tears running down soft cheeks she knows that she has to prepare her for what is coming so she transfers them again, this time to a place Mildred doesn’t recognize. 

There’s a familiar nausea that sets in the moment they materialize and it takes a good portion of her concentration not to be sick the moment she looks over at the statue of Indigo Moon. 

The story she tells is impersonal. It’s a tale of a young witch from a far off time that Mildred certainly doesn’t seem to believe. A fable meant to scare school girls from getting the wrong ideas about how important it was to always follow the Witches’ Code. And Mildred interrupts her - more than once - looking for answers that she just hadn’t been ready to give. So she continues the account of the two friends who had never really existed and their all too tragic fate.

When she’s finished she’s not sure that Mildred’s followed the story - she’s so quiet for so long. But eventually she finds her voice, “That’s Indigo Moon? That is really her?” Mildred asks in disbelief and there’s a moment of silence before Mildred looks at her in realization, and chokes on a sob as she asks, “Are you saying that’s what’s going to happen to my mum?”

There’s a familiar pang of grief that rushes through her at Mildred’s question, the grief that she assumes is shared by those who have faced losing their only caring parent, the grief she’d wanted so badly to protect Mildred from. “I am telling you so that you are prepared. I am telling you so that you know you are not the only one who has made this grievous mistake.”

But Mildred turns away, shaking her head angrily. “I don’t believe it. It’s just a story and that is just a statue.”

“It is the truth.” Hecate hears herself saying before she’s sure that she’s truly decided she’s going to tell Mildred this part of the story. “I know.”

“But how do you know, Miss Hardbroom?” Mildred is exasperated at this point and Hecate knows it’s now or never.

“Because, Mildred Hubble... my middle name is Hecate. My first name is Joy.”

Mildred looks horrified and she wants so badly to take it back. So badly that she finds herself revealing even more about herself and making what she fears are empty promises that she will help her to live with this but Mildred isn’t having it and she’s off like a shot back into the trees that lead to the academy.

Hecate knows that she should follow her - at the very least to make sure that she stays safe - but her feet are planted firmly to the ground and she’s fairly certain she couldn’t cast correctly if she tried. It takes a moment before she realizes that the feeling overwhelming her the most is the nausea that’s been building since the pair had materialized and it’s only a second longer before she’s sick, leaning heavily against a large oak trunk in an attempt to stay upright.

It’s only a few minutes longer before she’s fully aware of the urgency of the present situation and with a quick discovery and transference she’s with Mildred again. “Tell me you did not confront your mother in her present state.” She’s thankful when she looks around and sees that Mildred is alone. It had been careless to not check Julie’s whereabouts before transferring and she fears that it’s a signal that she’s too far off her game to keep Mildred safe.

Mildred doesn’t directly answer the question, but it’s clear by the argument that follows that she’s hell bent on reasoning with her mother so she’s on high alert for Julie’s arrival to finish whatever confrontation Mildred had likely started while Mildred listens intently to Mirabelle Hubble’s musings on forgotten potions.

She feels the pressure change before she hears the woosh of transference signaling Julie Hubble’s arrival in the garden. She quickly moves in front of Mildred hissing for her to leave before she does the only thing she can think of that could help - convincing Julie Hubble to give up her magic “Ms. Hubble.” Hecate manages to pull together a semblance of a strict tone. “What you have done is in breach of every rule in the Code. I must insist that you give up your magic this instant-”

And then everything went dark.

* * *

When Hecate regains consciousness to the sound of Ethel Hallow’s whining voice she’s sure everything’s gone terribly wrong. That Julie Hubble had turned to stone or that Mildred had sacrificed herself for her mother and that it had been enough to bring the woman back to her senses - it didn’t matter what it was, something had happened.

She nearly transfers away when Julie and Mildred come running into the art room together - and seemingly unharmed - but she knows she owes it to the girls to protect them so she stays, hands positioned and ready to case at the first sign of trouble. But there isn’t trouble. Jule and Mildred both appear fine and though the staff and students who had been sculpted and miniaturized were a bit disgruntled they all seemed fine too and they all made their way out of the room at Ada’s insistence.

It’s a few moments before Ada speaks but when she does Hecate isn’t prepared for what she has to say. “I blame myself.” Ada looks to her, eyes wet with unshed tears. “Miss Hardbroom was right. I should never have hired a non-magical teacher. Obviously you will need to leave the premises today.”

“Miss Cackle?” Mildred’s broken voice interrupts her teacher but Ada stops her, her voice increasingly stern as she turns to Julie. “And you will give up your magic.”

“Miss Cackle, no!” Mildred tries to protest. “She’s got it in control now. I cured her.” And Hecate knows she has to step in now, because after everything they’ve been through today if Mildred will believe anyone it will be her. 

Her voice is steadier than she’d expected as she explained the potential danger to the young witch. “She may have been saved from turning to stone, but we cannot know that she is in control.”

“She is!” Mildred protests, lunging forward toward her and Hecate hates to admit that she was frightened by her response and she’s ashamed that she’d prepared to protect herself from the girl when she stops several steps short of her outstretched hand. “She’s in control! You can’t do this!” 

Ada intervenes then, her voice desperate and exhausted as she tries to put Mildred back in her place. “You are very close to leaving this academy with your mother.”

Julie stops Ada before it can go any further and in a matter of moments the issue is settled. Julie’s magic is gone and she will be leaving the academy shortly so she and Mildred should pack her things. 

The moment the Hubbles have left the room Hecate breaks down into sobs and it’s only a moment before Ada’s by her side, wrapping her arms firmly around her and pulling her close. “It’s alright Hecate. It’s over. You’re alright.”

She doesn’t remember being transferred to Ada’s office or being guided into one of the grey wingback chairs by the hearth and she’s not sure how much time has passed by the time Ada hands her a cup of tea and sits across from her but it’s certainly time to discuss what happened today.

“I should have known.” Hecate whispers quietly, hands gripping tightly around her tea. “I should have seen the signs. I’m so sorry.”

“Hecate don’t you dare.” Ada stopped her quickly, moving to gingerly remove one of her favorite teacups from it’s imminent destruction in Hecate’s vice grip. “I didn’t listen to you. You told me this would happen and I didn’t want to believe you-”

“You wanted to believe that Mildred was better than I.” Hecate finishes for her with a grimace. 

Ada looks embarrassed at Hecate’s conclusion but does not correct her as she sits back in the opposing chair. “I know this is going to be a bit of a sore point but we need to discuss Mildred’s punishment.”

Hecate knows that Ada’s right. That Mildred will need to be punished. But she can’t stop reliving the moments of the day where Mildred Hubble was forced to swallow the all too real probability that she had accidentally and she can’t help but think that the girl’s been punished enough. “What did you have in mind?”

“She’ll need remedial lessons in the Witches’ Code. She’s clearly ” Ada stops for a moment, “And of course this will have to be reported to The Great Wizard.”

“Absolutely not!” Hecate is out of her chair before her protest makes it to Ada’s ears and she’s furiously pacing around the office as Ada tries to discuss it further.

“She broke the Code and put the whole school in danger.” Ada insists. “Not reporting it would be negligent.”

“You are not subjecting Mildred Hubble to the same treatment I’ve been given.” Hecate’s voice is cold. “Your mother failed to protect me when I needed it the most and I refuse to allow you to do the same.”

“My mother didn’t have a choice!” Ada argued back defensively. 

“Of course she did!” Hecate throws her hands up in the air. “Don’t you understand what’s happening here? This is the exact conversation your mother had thirty years ago. Except instead of parents and friends or even teachers who wanted me to succeed all I had was an abusive father that wanted me  _ handled _ . So your mother  _ handled  _ it. We are not going to be  _ handling  _ Mildred Hubble.”

“Hecate…” Ada’s voice is quieter now, taking on a cadence that she knows is meant to calm her down.

“Don’t you dare.” Hecate stops her angrily. “You don’t understand what I’m saying Ada. I am telling you we can not put Mildred’s future in the hands of the Great Wizard because she will not survive it.”

Ada sighs as she leans back in her chair, exhaustion fighting to take over. “I hear you Hecate, I really do. I just don’t see how we can justify not reporting such an egregious violation of the Witching Code particularly not when we can be certain that the girl’s will be telling their parents about it.” 

Hecate is quiet for a long while. She carefully paces the perimeter of Ada’s office, deep in thought but making no indication of what conclusion she may be coming to until she stops in front of Ada and begins to present her argument. “Julie Hubble is a witch by birthright. Technically Mildred did not give magic to a non-magical, she restored magic to a bloodline where it had been lost.” Ada looks ready to protest but Hecate shakes her head and continues. “Furthermore, Mildred used her knowledge of the Code and witchery to protect her mother and the Academy when things took a turn for the worst, even when it required her to give up what she wanted most in the world. Mildred Hubble has shown her capacity as an incredibly powerful witch and it is our duty as her teachers to guide her through her education, not to incarcerate her indefinitely.”

Ada considers the argument for a moment before she nods in agreement. “I agree with you but we cannot let Mildred off the hook entirely. What would you propose we do instead?”

“Twice weekly detentions with me through the end of the year.” Hecate replies firmly. “That will be more than enough time for me to review the Code in its entirety with Mildred. I anticipate she will be more receptive to moderate correction than she has been in the past given her... experience today.”

“And perhaps an arrangement for a summer tutor?” Ada suggests, still uncertain that her deputy’s plan would be sufficient to help Midred understand the gravity of the situation. 

“Ada, this girl will not be subjected to any part of my punishment.” Hecate shakes her head firmly. “I can tell you with absolute certainty that she understands the seriousness of her actions. Subjecting her to further sanctions will only serve to damage her psychological and physical wellbeing.”

Ada stares at her for several moments and Hecate assumes she’s considering whether her proposal will be sufficient punishment for Mildred, but when she speaks it’s apparent that that was not the case. “Hecate, I fear that I’ve misjudged your happiness with your place here.”

She doesn’t want to talk about this. She’s never wanted to before and now hardly feels like a better time to discuss it than any of the times Ada had brought it up previously. But she knows she’s opened up this question and she feels that for Mildred’s sake she needs to be honest. “I have not been truly happy in quite some time. I need Mildred to be given the opportunities that I was not. She deserves happiness Ada.”

“Very well.” Ada nods seriously. “Would you like me to talk with Mildred for you?”

A quick discovery spell tells her that Mildred and Julie are waiting outside the castle for Julie’s transportation home so she shakes her head. “I’d like to do it. I need to make sure that she’s alright.” And after a nod of approval from Ada she transports Julie Hubble home and herself out to the courtyard to talk with Mildred.

* * *

Hecate takes a heavy dose of sleeping draught in her tea that night. She’s far too exhausted for wide awake potion to be a reasonable choice and the probability of nightmares seems far too high to go to sleep unmedicated.

She’s not sure how long she’s been asleep when she wakes up to the sound of someone crying in her room and she nearly jumps out of her skin in shock before she remembers the possibilities. Her rooms were heavily warded and the number of people who could be here is quite low. She quickly cast an illumination spell and isn’t sure what she’d expected when she sees her girlfriend sitting on the opposite side of her bed, back facing her and shoulders shaking.

“Pippa?” Hecate’s still trying to reorient herself as she recognizes the witch next to her. “What are you doing here?”

Pippa wipes at the tears running down her cheeks as she turns to face her, revealing red-rimmed eyes with dark purple circles beneath them. It takes several moments and it’s barely a whisper but Hecate recognizes the look in her eyes and knows what she’s said before, “She’s gone.” falls from her lips.

Hecate knows there’s nothing she can say that will make this better - and truthfully after the day she’s had she’s worried about what she may say - so she silently pushes back the covers and pulls Pippa into her arms. As Pippa settled into her arms she’s struck by the similarity of her pained expression and the one she’d seen on Mildred’s face several times throughout the day and she magically dims the lights in a last ditch attempt to keep her own emotions together.

She’s not sure if it’s the potion or the dimmed lights but it’s incredibly difficult to fight off sleep and she’s not confident she didn’t nod off once or twice before the sun is rising and Pippa speaks again, her voice thick with tears. “I’ve known it was coming for so long and it still hurts so much. How is it possible for something to hurt this much?”

“Oh Pipsqueak.” Hecate’s voice is shaky as she tries to form a response. “She’s your mother and you love her. Of course it hurts.”

The words seem to break through something in the blonde witch and as her sobs increase in intensity she turns to face Hecate and wraps her arms tightly around her, burying her head in the crook between her neck and her shoulder. There’s another long silence before Pippa manages a response and when she does it’s so quiet she almost doesn’t hear her despite their closeness. “Hiccup, how did you survive this?”

Her question is certainly warranted but Hecate is not at all sure how to respond when the truth is that she almost hadn’t. When her mother died her already distant father had shut her out entirely - leaving nine year old Hecate to grieve alone. She’d waited for months after her mother’s death for him to take her with him to the altar to perform her mother’s rites - but her father never came. She vividly remembers the night when she’d tried to perform her mother’s death rites herself, hoping against hope that her young magic and fervent prayers would be enough to invoke the goddess Manea’s intercession on her mother’s journey. The ancient ritual had been far too much for her alone and when she found herself unable to complete it she begged for Manea to take her too, to let her have her mother back even if it was the only way. To this day she doesn’t know if it was enough. 

She thinks long and hard about what she could say that would be true to her own experiences that will help Pippa but she quickly realizes that there’s nothing. Instead she opts for what she thinks would have helped her, what she’d wished for more than anything in the woods that dark December night. “Because… I didn’t have to do it alone.”


	16. As if it Never Happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episodes: S3:E8-E12

When she’d first heard the rumors that some of the third years were attempting The Cackle Run she would have bet her life that Mildred Hublle and Ethel Hallow were involved. What she hadn’t been prepared for when she stopped the students hurling towards her was to find Mildred Hubble riding alongside Indigo Moon.

It took quite some time to convince the rest of the girls to return to their normal activities after everyone had landed safely and detentions had been doled out appropriately but eventually Hecate found herself pacing around Ada’s office while Mildred and Ada engaged in an extensive argument about what to do about Indigo’s reappearance.

It’s all too much. Not only does Mildred know her deepest secret, that same secret is now sitting on a bench in the hall with Gwen waiting to hear what her own punishment will be. When Mildred brings up Indigo for the millionth time Hecate changes her pacing pattern to be around Ada’s desk as she finally addresses her student. “Did I not tell you that I never wanted to hear the name Indigo Moon again?” 

“It was an accident, Miss Hardbroom. But I’m glad that it happened.” Mildred is certain in her response but Hecate doesn’t believe her. Doesn’t understand how else this could be possible if it hadn’t been Mildred’s doing. 

“Glad?!” She stops pacing to face the girl once again. “The girl is a threat to us all.” 

“She could be a great witch.” Mildred argues back firmly causing Hecate to reel back in distress. “She wants to learn!”

There are so many elements to this situation that don’t make any sense, but what strikes her the most is how Mildred can’t seem to grasp the seriousness of the situation even after everything that had happened only yesterday with her own mother. Entirely out of patience for the girl she snaps, “The only thing she will be learning is the spell for relinquishing her magic. It should never have been given to her. It is a mistake I have regretted ever since-”

Ada stops her with her own reminder for Mildred. “We have no way of knowing that she is able to use magic responsibly.”

Mildred is of course prepared for this argument. Full of defenses that Hecate’s sure she’d spent months preparing for her mother before it was far too late. It hurts more than she’d care to admit that Ada is persuaded by Mildred’s all too innocent arguments and that the two are coming to some sort of agreement to allow Indigo to stay. Here. As a witch.

“The girl does not belong here.” Hecate sneers as she realizes her preferences on the matter have been dismissed entirely. “And she never will.” And with that she transferred to her rooms, hoping for a few moments to compose herself before Ada comes after her to discuss her decision.

In all the commotion of the morning she’d forgotten something - or more accurately someone - rather important. When she materializes in her living room to see Pippa lounging on her couch, focused intently on the maglet in her lap, she chokes on the sob she’d been holding back. 

“Hecate?” Pippa asks looking up at her in surprise. “I thought you were teaching all day. Is everything alright?”

“No.” Hecate laughs miserably at the question that overwhelms her further. She’s being confronted with the very real possibility that Pippa will find out what’s happened and it somehow feels like the worst part of the whole ordeal.

Pippa sits up in attention as she sets her maglet aside. “Darling, what’s happened?”

“I don’t want you to... I just don’t think…” She stops when she realizes that there’s probably nothing she can say that will preserve their relationship and her secret. She paces around the room for several moments, desperately trying to think of a way to salvage the situation before she stops suddenly. “I can’t do this.”

Pippa is clearly concerned now and her voice wavers as she sits up further. “Hecate?”

Hecate shakes her head furiously, her angry magic vibrating on her skin as the panic sets in further. “I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what?” Pippa asks desperately, reaching out to hold Hecate’s hands in her own.

“I can’t do any of this.” Hecate pulls away quickly, hopeful that Pippa hadn’t felt her anxious magic. Of course that hadn’t been the case.

Pippa stands quickly, moving to Hecate’s side. “Darling your magic is out of control. What happened?”

It’s that moment that a knock at the door signals Ada’s arrival. “Hecate? We need to talk about this. I know that you aren’t happy with my decision about Indi-”

Hecate rushes across the room and all but rips the door open before Ada can reveal anything further.

“Miss Pentangle!” Ada’s eyes widened as she took in the scene in front of her. “What a surprise. Hecate hadn’t mentioned you were visiting.”

“I arrived last night.” Pippa is immediately at Hecate’s defense. “I’m sure that Hecate planned to tell you I was here.”

After a brief assessment of the situation it’s clear that her deputy is desperate for a way out of her current surroundings so she smiles gently at Pippa as she moves to Hecate’s side. “I need to talk with Hecate about an urgent matter for a moment. Would you excuse us?”

Ada quickly transfers herself and Hecate to her own quarters and she’s not all that surprised when Hecate doubles over and is sick on her rug. “Ohhh-kay.” Ada breathes out tiredly as she vanishes the mess and leads Hecate to her bathroom where she leans heavily against the pedestal sink.

Ada waits patiently through several bouts of sickness, gently rubbing Hecate’s back in an attempt to provide her with a semblance of support as she tries to process the unthinkable. Once Hecate pulls away and moves to sit on the edge of the tub Ada finally asks the question that she needs the answer to most. “Does Pippa know?”

Hecate shakes her head furiously as she tries to keep the still continuous nausea under control.

“Would you like me to tell her?”

“ _NO!_ ” Hecate’s voice was desperate now, her vocal outburst accompanied by a burst of magic that caused the window panes throughout Ada’s rooms to shake.

“Okay, that’s fine.” She reassures her quickly. “But if you aren’t going to tell her I think it’s probably best if she’s not here right now.”

Hecate’s head is shaking once again and her tears start to fall faster. “I can’t… her mother _just_ died… I can’t send her away… she’ll think I don’t love her.”

“Oh Hecate.” Ada sighs sympathetically. “You’re not in any shape to help her right now. I know that none of this is ideal but if you don’t want Pippa to find out about Indigo-”

“She can’t be here.” Hecate finishes for her. There’s another long pause before Hecate looks up at her with exhausted eyes. “Will you help me?” 

When Ada transfers back to Hecate’s quarters alone Pippa is visibly disappointed. “Ada what’s going on?”

Ada sighed as she felt the tension in Pippa’s magic around the room. “Miss Pentangle I think it would be best if you were to go.”

Pippa stiffens visibly at that while her magic thickened tangibly around them. “If something’s happened to Hecate I need to-”

“She’s asked me to ask you to go.” Ada softens as she watches the blonde witch crumple in mortification.

Pippa’s quiet for some time as she tries to maintain her composure. Eventually she forces a smile as she cautiously gets up from the couch. “Well then. Given that I am not a welcome guest here I should take my leave.” 

“Pippa - this wasn’t an easy decision for her. I hope you understand that.” Ada tries to explain but she’s clearly not having it.

“With all due respect Miss Cackle, I don’t understand any of this.” Pippa snapped angrily as she summoned the remainder of her belongings from Hecate’s bedroom. “I don’t understand why you’ve pulled Hecate out of her own rooms to keep her away from me. I also don’t understand why Hecate is so willing to defer to your authority on every matter regardless of her own preferences. And I certainly don’t understand why Hecate is so loyal to you despite all of these things to the point that she refuses to leave your academy. Whatever the hell you’ve done to her she doesn’t deserve - but I can’t be a part of it any longer.”

And with a flash of sharp gold magic Pippa was gone.

* * *

She doesn’t hear from Pippa after that day. No maglet messages, no mirror calls, and certainly no surprise visits. Hecate considers reaching out to Pippa herself but she doesn’t know what to say. While she’d like to put more energy into considering how to reconcile with Pippa she’s exhausted by the other increasingly constant demands on her emotions and time.

After countless arguments with Ada regarding Indigo’s presence in the academy she’d finally given up. It’s become apparent that the position that Ada’s in - deciding between Hecate’s mental wellbeing and the responsibility of caring for a girl who has no one left in the world - is entirely her doing and that it’s entirely unfair to put Indigo’s safety beneath her own preferences. She also knows that by prioritizing caring for Indigo Ada’s actually protecting her from the potential for further punishments and ostracization if the word spread that a young witch trapped in stone for thirty years had suddenly emerged at Cackle’s Academy.

Meanwhile Mildred’s insistence that she tell Indigo who she is had come to a head a few weeks before when she’d used a glamour to pretend to be her - or more accurately who she assumed Joy would be - to cheer Indigo up. In the detention following the incident Hecate demanded that Mildred detail every interaction she’d had while pretending to be Joy so she could assess the extent of the damage done.The pang of grief she’d felt as she digested Mildred’s assumptions about her romantic preferences - in addition to her ability to have children - had settled deep into her heart leaving her feeling both misunderstood and inadequate. She’d dismissed Mildred from detention early with lines to turn in the next day so she could be alone.

That night had been the first of many that she’d spent awake considering whether or not she should tell Indigo who she is. The longer she’d spent thinking about it the less certain she was about her decision but the potential consequences of the alternative seemed insurmountable. Ada’s lack of faith in her ability to be impartial with regard to Indigo’s examination this morning had been the tipping point of her true realization that simply pretending she had no connection with Indigo hadn’t been working. While she may have been able to maintain the fabricated icy exterior her students largely expected of her, those who knew of the situation had been expressing concerns for weeks.

 _“Hecate dear you’ve got to eat something.”_ Gwen had stopped by her rooms one night with a tray of food after she’d avoided the dining hall all day. “ _That girl doesn’t have as much power over you as you think she does.”_

 _“Miss Hardbroom?”_ Dimity had stopped her in the hallway after she’d all but run into a pillar when she’d seen Indigo running through the corridor with a smile that brought her own childhood crashing back around her. _“Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”_

 _“Gwen asked me to bring you this.”_ Algernon had said awkwardly as he handed her yet another tray of food one lunch that she’d holed away in her office. _“She also told me to tell you that avoiding it isn’t going to help - but don’t worry she didn’t tell me anything else.”_

 _“Hecate you’re making yourself sick with worry that she’s going to find out.”_ Ada had pointed out during their last argument about Indigo. _“I’m not going to tell you what to do but I think you should seriously consider telling her the truth.”_

To top it all off Ethel Hallow had quickly become more insufferable than ever. Between her not-so-subtle attempts to get Mildred and Indigo expelled for the past several weeks and her equally obvious attempts throughout today to sabotage Indigo’s Witching Proficiency Exam, Hecate's not sure what she’ll do the next time her student crosses the line.

She didn’t have to wait long to find out.

It was just after the flying portion of Indigo’s exam and Hecate had finally decided to tell Indigo the truth about who she was given that she’d be staying at the academy when Ethel Hallow moved towards the group of witches outside with what was clearly a Cackle’s Academy student record in her hands. 

It had only taken the words “I found your file, Miss Hardbroom.” for her panic attack to set in but Ethel had continued. “Funny… I didn’t know your real name was Joy.”

After that everything was muffled. She’s aware of an altercation building between Ethel, Mildred, and Indigo but she can’t take her eyes off the young witch who had once been her best friend as she looks back at her in shock, and then disgust, and then anger before she’d bolted out of the courtyard.

She wants to go after her, to try and explain the truth, but she can hardly breathe let alone move so she stays firmly planted in place as Ada hastily moves around her - quickly directing the remaining students inside with a firm indication to Mildred and Ethel that she’ll deal with them later as she retrieves Hecate’s file from Mildred’s own anxiously shaking hands.

After everyone else has gone it becomes apparent that Ada must be speaking to her so she focuses on her voice, trying to understand what she’s being asked to do. “Hecate, are you alright if I transfer us?”

She manages a curt nod before she feels the transportation spell around her and is relieved when she sees her own rooms materializing around them. 

Hecate immediately begins pacing a familiar path around her room, casting here and there to burn off some of the extra magic that was building alongside her anxiety. 

After several laps around the room Hecate began to speak. “I can’t do this Ada.” Hecate muttered quietly. “I can’t stay here while I wait for this to make it through the teenage gossip mill. Mildred’s known for months and now Ethel knows so it’s only a matter of time-”

“Hecate…” Ada tried to stop her.

“I need my confinement transferred.” Hecate doesn’t stop thinking aloud. “Perhaps to another academy? If nowhere else will take me I’m certain I can still get a position at Wormwood with my education from Mistress Broomhead.”

“Hecate!” Ada stops her firmly this time. “Ethel Hallow doesn’t know and you’re not going anywhere.”

“What?” Hecate looks up at her in confusion. “If she had my file surely she…”

“Mother knew that there would always be some unruly students who would go snooping through the records so she kept the real copies of the more… personal... records stored in a secret compartment in the head teacher’s quarters.” She handed the file in her hands to Hecate. “This is only a portion of your record: family lineage, course marks, and graduation information. The rest of your file is safely in my rooms.”

Hecate pours over the documents in her hands, looking for anything that could have given any indication of the incident with the wishing star or her confinement, but there’s nothing. Not even an indication that could connect her to Indigo Moon as a child. “She doesn’t know.” She whispers quietly.

Ada shakes her head in affirmation. “I can promise you that the only two students who know more than that you go by your middle name are Mildred and Indigo and I plan to do my best to keep it that way.”

Hecate all but collapses into one of her armchairs as she tries to process the day’s events. “Indigo’s gone.” She whispered softly. “She’s got no one else. Where would she go?”

“I don’t know, Hecate.” Ada replied gently as she sat down in the opposing armchair. “But I get the sense that you would like to go after her.”

Hecate looks up at her, confusion apparent in her eyes. “I can’t Ada. My confinement-”

“Is more or less irrelevant at this point is it not?” Ada asked with a raised eyebrow. “Your confinement was punishment for turning Indigo Moon to stone, something she has not been for months now.”

“I don’t understand.” Hecate shook her head. “My confinement is a life sentence.”

“Mother left me a document - meant to be used in emergencies - that contains a spell that she believed would release you from your confinement if ever the need arose.” Ada admitted quietly, feeling embarrassed that she’d never told Hecate about it before.

“But the Great Wizard…” Hecate protested immediately.

“Doesn’t need to be involved.” Ada assured her firmly. “As long as you keep quiet he won’t notice whether or not you remain on Cackle’s property so looking for Indigo shouldn’t be a problem.” She pauses for a moment before returning back to a previous point in their conversation. “On the other hand if you would like to leave Cackle’s for another academy that is of course something I am willing to help you arrange, but would likely require the Great Wizard’s approval.”

The room is silent for a long time. Hecate staring pensively at the clock above the mantle while Ada watches her carefully for any sort of reaction.

Eventually Hecate replies. “I would like to look for Indigo first.” Hecate states carefully before continuing. “But I would like to leave Cackle’s once I know she’s safe here again. I need to take some time away from…”

When Hecate can’t finish her thought Ada nods reassuringly to indicate her understanding, though her eyes betray her disappointment. “Of course, Hecate.” 

“When can I go?” Hecate asks quietly as she stands up and heads toward the window looking out at the now darkening sky. 

“As soon as we’ve broken the confinement spell you are free to go.” Ada assures her firmly.

Hecate nods before turning back to her. “This spell. Does it require a potion or…?”

“Frankly, I don’t remember.” Ada admitted with a grimace. “I just know it’s somewhere among mother’s scrolls. In an academy such as this - with an extensive magical history - there are a shocking number of spells that have been left behind ‘just in case’. Honestly, I don’t know what most of them do. But I’m certain that this is around somewhere. I’ll start looking right away. I’m sorry I’m not more certain.” 

“I should finish out the term anyway.” Hecate dismissed her apology. “It wouldn’t be fair to you or the girls to leave this late in the year.”

Ada chuckles tiredly at that. “I think you’ll find that the only one in this scenario that hasn’t been dealt with fairly is you. But I do appreciate your willingness to help finish the girls’ exams.”

“I think I’d like to be alone now.” Hecate is blunt in her response. Uncertain of how to process Ada’s sudden revelation given how many times she’d hoped for one like it in the past.

“Of course.” Ada nods as she moves to take Hecate’s student file from it’s discarded place on the coffee table. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

* * *

A few days later Hecate knocked softly on the doorframe before entering Gwen’s open bedroom door. She’d been let into her rooms by Gwen’s sister who was busy putting some finishing touches on the wedding dress. “I shall not disturb you. I simply wanted to give you my… best wishes.”

“Oh, but you’ll be at the wedding?” Gwen has a knowing tone in her voice as she turns to look at her long former student.

“I fear not.” Hecate replies cautiously, grimacing when Gwen’s face falls in disappointment. She hadn’t wanted to talk to Gwen at all about this but she figures that after everything she’d done for her she owes her an explanation before she disappears from the Academy indefinitely for the first time in thirty years. “I do not believe I am in a position to properly carry out my duties at Cackle’s anymore.”

When Gwen just stares at her in disbelief she continues more firmly. “How can I demand the best behavior from the girls when I myself have behaved unforgivably?”

“Oh, what a lot of cauldron curd.” Gwen dismissed her as she turned back to her vanity. 

“Miss Bat?” Hecate startled, feeling more like a student in trouble with a teacher than she had in a long time.

“It’s all about what one girl thinks, isn’t it?” Gwen starts in knowingly. “The one who’s finally cleared off just as you wanted. Except that’s made you feel even more wretched, hasn’t it?”

“Miss Bat.” Hecate stiffened angrily as she heard her own thoughts being laid out all too simply before her.

“Today is my wedding day and I’m allowed to say what I think.” She stops her quickly. “And I think you love making yourself feel wretched, Miss Hardbroom, because you accidentally got a girl turned to stone. Well, fine. But if you really want to suffer, I have a suggestion. Find her, bring her back, and teach her.”

“Gwen…” Hecate sighs as she recognizes the tactic the elder witch is taking. “I can’t possibly…”

“I also need to tell you that Algernon and I won’t be returning to Cackle’s next year.” Gwen continues once again, far more determined this time. “I tell you this so I can tell you that I stayed here long past my own time to leave in an effort to find the one I loved that I had been missing. Which I did, and I need you to do the same.”

“Gwen I…” Hecate protested again, her hands balling into anxious fists by her side as she tried to resist the urge to transfer away.

“All of my advice applies to Miss Pentangle as well.” Gwen is insistent now. “I think that you’ll find that while you believe staying away from her is what’s best for her as it only hurts you that is certainly not the case. You owe that girl the truth after all this time that she’s stood by you.”

Hecate curses internally as she feels the tears she’d tried to hold back wetting her cheeks. “How can I ask her to love me when I… I kept an unforgivable crime from her for nearly forty years?”

“Hecate, what you did wasn’t unforgivable.” Gwen softens immediately as she turns back around to face the younger witch. “It was a mistake. A mistake not unlike the one made by your own student just this year. You just happened to be much less fortunate in the mentorship department I’m afraid.”

Hecate’s quiet as she processes the ideas that have been presented to her, hands wringing with frustration as she tries to come up with a response. “It occurs to me that perhaps no one has told you this...” Gwen interrupted her thoughts gently. “But you are worthy of being loved, Hecate Hardbroom. Faults and all.”

Hecate’s brow knitted in confusion once again as she processes the sentiment and it takes a moment but her shoulders drop visibly, as if a load has been lifted from them. “No.” She confirms quietly. “No one had. But I very much needed to hear it.”

Gwen nodded knowingly before turning back to her mirror to finalize her makeup. It takes a few moments but eventually she turns back to Hecate. “Now. Will you do me this one favor and just come to my bloody wedding so I can say my favorite student was there on my wedding day?” Gwen asked with a wide grin.

“Of course.” Hecate laughed softly at that while Gwen got up slowly and pulled her into a soft hug. “Thank you, Gwen. For everything.”

Gwen pulled away and studied her carefully for a few moments with a soft smile on her face. “It was a pleasure and an honor to watch you grow up Hecate Hardbroom.”


	17. And Suddenly It’s Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion Episode - S3:E12 "Ethel Hallow to the Rescue"

“Your actions today were not only self-indulgent and reckless, they also put Miss Hardbroom in personal danger.” Ada admonished firmly. “I don’t see what other options we have here Miss Hallow.”

“Miss Hardbroom I’m sorry!” Ethel apologized profusely. “Please,  _ please _ don’t call my parents in. After everything that happened last year they already don’t want me around. They’ll send me away!”

Ada sighs as she turns toward Hecate for her input. She’s not all that surprised to see that her deputy hasn’t moved from her rigid position behind her and she turns back to her student. “Ethel please take a seat outside. We’ll call you back in when we’ve made a decision about your punishment.”

Ethel nodded before making her way to the door with one final, “I didn’t mean for it, I’m sorry.” as the door shut behind her. 

Hecate felt her shoulders drop as the door shut behind the student and she exhaled deeply as she tried to formulate her comment on the situation. Before she manages Ada is at her side guiding her to one of the wingbacked chairs across the room. Once she’s settled Ada sits across from her and waits a moment before making a proposal. “Ethel has proven that she is unwilling to improve her behavior time and time again. I don’t see what options we have other than expulsion.”

Hecate shook her head slowly. “We can’t expel Ethel.”

“Of course we can.” Ada’s confused expression intensified. “Not only did she put the school in danger she expected you to sacrifice yourself to protect herself. Doing harm to another witch is in direct violation of The Code.”

“I know.” Hecate confirmed tiredly. “And I will need to take some time to consider my ability to continue as her teacher. But the Hallows will certainly not accept that Ethel was responsible for this situation once they understand my part in it.” 

“But you had no part in Ethel’s behavior.” Ada argued passionately. “How could they possibly make this about you?”

“The Hallows are a powerful witching family. They would use my own mistake with a wishing star as evidence that my role at Cackle’s as an educator put not only their daughters but a whole school of witches in danger.” Hecate explained tiredly. “They won’t go down without a fight and that fight will destroy whatever’s left of my reputation. I’d like to remain a teacher here and if Mr. and Mrs. Hallow decide to come after me personally, that will no longer be an option.”

“Oh Hecate.” Ada sighed sadly as she summoned a tin of biscuits for herself. “I don’t know what to say.”

The pity in her voice was too much. In the hours since Indigo had returned to the academy Hecate had been on the receiving end of far too much pity.

_ “Miss Hardbroom are you okay?”  _ Mildred had raced towards her anxiously after the wishing star incident was all said and done.  _ “We shouldn’t have sent you. Miss Cackle told me after you left that long distance transfer spells are different than the ones you use around the school. I never would’ve said you could do it if I’d known. I didn’t mean to…” _ She’d done her best to comfort the girl as she tried to make her way inside and away from the rest of the students - all of whom were now privy to a secret she’d kept for decades.

Then there had been Dimity’s reaction to learning about the confinement.  _ “I’m sorry I didn’t realize.”  _ Dimity had apologized anxiously when she’d stopped her in the hallway just outside of Ada’s office.  _ “I should have noticed that something was wrong instead of assuming the worst. I gave you such a hard time for not coming to things that I’d organized for the staff down in the village. If I’d known I… I just never imagined it was because you couldn’t join us.” _

Perhaps the worst of all had been Julie Hubble’s all too understanding response to her and Ada’s request for Indigo to spend the summer with her and Mildred.  _ “We’d love to have Indie stay with us for the summer hols. It’s the least we can do to repay you for everything that’s happened. And it will give Miss Hardbroom some time to process everything that’s happened this year - something I think we can all agree she deserves.” _

For now Indigo was safe with the Hubbles and for now it would have to be enough.

Hecate slowly rose from her chair in Ada’s office. “I expect you can handle Ethel’s punishment on your own. Some sort of probationary period and set detentions upon her return next year seem appropriate.” She felt her own body tremble with the effort it took to remain upright. “I would stay but I am far beyond fatigued and it doesn’t seem appropriate for me to be involved in any further decision making on this matter.” 

“Hecate are you quite sure?” Ada had stopped her gently as she quickly moved to provide her a shoulder to lean on if necessary.

“Ethel Hallow doesn’t have a safe home. A severe punishment from us for a mistake like this will ruin her.” Hecate had nodded firmly. “I will not do the same thing that was done to me to a young witch in my care.”

* * *

Hours later Hecate is startled awake by the clicking sound of her bedroom door latch. Half sitting up she turns toward her door and is shocked to see an all too familiar figure in the dark room.

“Pippa?” Her voice cracks slightly as she speaks. The shadow doesn’t move at all and Hecate’s not at all certain she isn’t dreaming so she calls out again. “ _ Pippa _ ?”

It’s only another moment before Pippa’s closed the distance between them herself and is wrapping her arms firmly around Hecate’s awkwardly positioned shoulders and pressing her lips passionately against hers. 

“I… I’m so sorry.” Pippa apologized quickly as she pulled back and detangled their arms, eyes wide with shock. A quick wave of her hand lit the lights in the room so she could see Hecate’s face. “I shouldn’t have assumed you’d still want that kind of relationship with me.”

“Pippa.” Hecate gasped as the contact between them ended. “Of course I want... Why wouldn’t I?” 

“I left you.” Pippa stated simply, her brow furrowed in confusion.

Hecate smiled sadly as she looked over at the blonde witch who had settled into a seated position at the foot of her bed. “I didn’t really give you much of a choice.”

“You didn’t have a choice!” Pippa argued back passionately before clapping her hands over her mouth.

The accidental confession hit her like a load of bricks. Her heart racing as she tries to understand how after all this time keeping this from her Pippa still managed to find out. Suddenly she feels incredibly exposed and she pulls her duvet around her tightly.

“You know.”

“Julie Hubble called.” Pippa admitted cautiously. “She assumed I already knew… and that we were still together... and she wanted to make sure I checked in on you tonight after everything that had happened.”

Hecate sat in quiet contemplation for several minutes before she got out of bed and began pacing the room. “What exactly did she tell you?” She asked anxiously as she tried to parse what Julie knew of the situation herself.

Pippa shook her head quickly hoping to reassure her. “Not much - I stopped her as soon as she mentioned your confinement.”

“Not much then?” Hecate laughed bitterly at that. “You finally have been exposed to the one thing I’ve tried to protect you from and it’s not much?”

“Protect me?” Pippa’s eyebrows fly up in surprise. “Hiccup why would I need to be protected from this?”

The question is too much. The way Pippa somehow doesn’t understand why she’d kept it from her all these years when the reason is so so obvious. Hecate can’t help but shout in response. “Because you deserve a life Pippa!”

Pippa’s eyes widened in surprise at the volume of her response but she said nothing so Hecate continued.

“Because when you met me you were a fifteen year old witch with your whole future ahead of you. Because you didn’t know about the things I’d done and you didn’t understand that I was responsible for what happened to Indigo. It’s my fault really. I should have never let you in. That was my mistake. But you were kind, and you were pretty, and you were absolutely brilliant, and you stood up for me when no one else did.” Hecate sat down heavily on the edge of her bed as she ran out of breath. “And I made the mistake of letting you. Which meant that when it came time for you to leave Cackle’s...”

“You broke my heart so I would leave without you.” Pippa finished for her softly. 

Hecate nodded. “I didn’t realize at the time that’s what I had done.” She admitted softly. “Truthfully I didn’t realize until last year what I felt for you and when I did I never imagined you’d felt the same.”

Pippa sighed as she crawled across the bed to sit closer to Hecate. “You know that I do now though?” She asked quietly, her voice tinged with desperation. “You know that when I’m with you I feel like my world is complete and that when I’m not I feel like I’m drowning? That you, the witchiest witch I've ever known, are the only person I want to be with?”

“No.” Hecate admitted quietly. “I don’t.” 

“Oh.” Pippa was quiet for a moment before she wrapped her arms around her. “I promise you it’s true.”

“Please.” Hecate pulled away from her anxiously. “You can’t promise me that. Not when you don’t know what I did. Why I’ll live my whole life here.”

“Then tell me.” Pippa insists with desperate eyes. “Tell me what happened so I can decide for myself.” 

And for the first time Hecate tells her story. Not the impersonal and partial one she’d told Mildred months ago, or the snippets people close to her have learned over time, but the whole story. How as a young girl Hecate had been her mother’s  _ “pride and Joy” _ and her father’s deepest disappointment. How because she was not a son, and therefore not an  _ “appropriate”  _ heir to the Hardbroom estate, she was taught to be obedient and to stay quiet for her own protection. How her father used to beat her and her mother at the slightest hint of subordination. How when her mother died when she was nine years old she was left alone for months to fend for herself. How she tried to perform her funeral rights alone. 

How when she went to Cackle’s Academy just two years later she spent the first two forms in near silence and intense fear - terrified that or the wrong answer would lead to the same punishments she received at home. How in her third year she had finally realized Cackle’s was a safe place and all she wanted was a friend but how she had already so effectively isolated herself from the other students to the point that there was no one who wanted to be friends with her. How she had stolen a broomstick one weekend in sheer desperation for and she had visited the nearby village. How it became a habit - nearly every Sunday without fail taking off in the early morning to visit the nearby city and returning in the evening. How she met Indigo Moon, an ordinary girl who believed in magic, and they became the best of friends. How she had been caught.

How when given the option between her expulsion or a magical confinement to the grounds during the school year her father took the opportunity to handle her entirely and had told her in no uncertain terms that she was to never return home again. How the combination of her confinement and certain rejection from her family had made her desperate. How she’d stolen the wishing star intended as a wedding present for Dimity’s parents. How she’d used it to give Indigo magic. How she’d snuck Indigo into the school as a transfer student from Amulet’s and how they had spent months together as witches - Indigo learning the craft and becoming who Hecate assumed would always be her closest friend. How everything had gone so horribly wrong.

How when she’d run crying to Alma Cackle for help when her best friend had turned to stone she’d been met with nothing but hostility and disapproval. How when her father was called in he’d used his position on the magic council to have the Great Wizard extend her confinement for life without a trial. How her father had employed Mistress Broomhead to serve as a tutor and guardian during the Summer. How Mistress Broomhead had nearly destroyed her. How when Pippa transferred to Cackle’s the next year she was a chance she hadn’t known she’d needed. 

“Hecate.” Pippa stopped her then, unable to hold back any longer. “They imprisoned you as a  _ child.  _ They imprisoned you  _ without a trial _ . What they did was  _ illegal _ .”

“I broke The Code.” Hecate argues back automatically.

Pippa shook her head passionately. “Maybe so, but they did too. And they were the adults. You were too young to know better.”

“I was fourteen Pippa! I knew it was wrong!” Hecate tries to explain, not willing to go down the road Pippa’s getting at.

“You were fourteen!” Pippa repeated angrily this time. “You were Mildred Hubble’s age and they imprisoned you for life! You can’t possibly tell me that you would allow the same to be done to Mildred if she’d done the same thing?”

Hecate freezes at that, unable to process the same argument she’d made to Ada weeks ago on Mildred’s behalf as it’s thrown back at her. She can feel the emotional barrier that she’s built over the years beginning to crack. The wall she’s built around herself and her confinement to keep them both from scrutiny is moments away from falling entirely and it sends her spiraling. Her senses quickly became numb as her magic rose angry and red beneath her skin, coming to the surface as to create a barrier between herself and the world around her, a last ditch attempt to keep her own justification of her own confinement intact.

“Hecate?” Pippa asks cautiously as she examines the magic pulsating at the surface of Hecate’s skin, recognizing it as some sort of defense mechanism but unsure how to proceed. “Hecate, please don’t shut me out.”

“Mildred Hubble stole a wishing star and gave her mother magic.” Hecate gasped breathlessly. “She… she figured out how to save her… stopped her from…turning… to stone.”

Pippa’s eyes widened as she studied Hecate’s panic-stricken features. “Hecate what are you talking about?”

Hecate firmly shook her head in frustration as she tried to indicate she wasn’t done. “When she… when she saved Julie she… reversed the spell on Indigo as well… Indigo is… she’s back but she’s… still a child.”

Pippa reached out to place a comforting hand on her shoulder but pulled away quickly when her own magic mixed with Hecate’s and sent a spark back through her hand. “When did this happen?” Pippa asked anxiously as she tried to digest the information, desperate to know how long had this been going on without her noticing. “When did this all happen?”

Hecate’s magic bristled angrily at the question and she grimaced in pain as she answered. “The day...your mother died.” 

A wave of guilt washed over her. “Oh Hiccup.” She reached out again, this time prepared for the reaction between their magic she would feel when she touched her skin. “I never would have left you if I’d known-”

“No. It’s not your fault.” Hecate argued as she tried to pull her hands away from Pippa’s steady grip.

“I should’ve stayed.” Pippa insisted. “Hecate, I knew something was wrong and I shouldn’t have left like that. I wanted to be there for you but I was so angry with you for not telling me what was going on. If I had known-”

“You were grieving.” Hecate replied tiredly. “You were grieving and I wanted you to leave. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It doesn't have to have been my fault for me to wish I had been here for you.” Pippa moved her arms around Hecate’s shoulders and began to press calming magic through her palms. “Please let me be here for you now.”

Hecate took several deep breaths as she felt Pippa’s magic mixing with her own. Slowly but surely her own angry magic calmed and pulled back into her core. It’s only a matter of time before she realizes she’s having a hard time keeping her eyes open. “I’m sorry I’m…”

“Exhausted.” Pippa finishes for her gently. “You’ve had quite a day. Let’s get some sleep.”

* * *

It was hours later when they woke up, sunlight streaming in through the windows. “Hi.” Pippa smiled before pressing her lips against Hecate’s forehead. 

“You’re still here.” Hecate tries to hide the surprise in her voice.

“Well yeah.” Pippa replied with a sympathetic smile. “If you can’t leave then I’m going to be here with you.”

Hecate shakes her head slightly. “Pippa you have a school to run. You can’t just-”

“It is Summer holiday and I can do exactly as I please because as you said I have a school.” Pippa stops her quickly. “For now, I’m not going anywhere without you.”

Hecate smiles but doesn’t say anything as she settles into Pippa’s arms again. She’s just getting comfortable when Pippa suddenly sits up, pushing her out of her arms.

“Julie Hubble said you were at her flat.” Pippa says in sudden realization. “When she called she said you’d just left her flat. How did you get to her flat if you’re confined to the Academy?”

Hecate cringed as she realized they hadn’t quite gotten to the end of the story last night. “Ada released my confinement to allow me to search for Indigo. She’d ran away and I needed-”

“Ada did  _ what?! _ ” Pippa yelled as she pulled back suddenly.

Hecate was unprepared for the absolute fury in Pippa’s eyes when she looked back at her in confusion. “She used a spell Alma had left behind that released the confinement temporarily so that I-”

“What you’re telling me is that Ada and her mother have kept you here for thirty years when they could have let you go.” Pippa interrupted her firmly. “You’re telling me that Ada has kept you prisoner when she could have let you go.” 

“Pippa it’s not that simple.” Hecate tries to explain but she’s finding it impossible to find the words she needs. “I’m still… The Great Wizard hasn’t…”

“How temporary is it?” Pippa’s still angry as she climbs out of the bed and starts pacing the path Hecate herself had paced earlier. “What will happen if you try to leave?”

“I don’t know… Pippa what does it matter?” The exhaustion is apparent in her voice as she sits up herself.

Pippa stops dead center in the room and turns to face her. “Let me take you to my school.”

Hecate shakes her head in confusion. “Pippa I can’t…” 

“That is if you want to.” Pippa adds quickly as she moves back to Hecate’s side. “I want to take you to Pentangle’s where you will be safe. I need to protect you.” 

“Pipsqueak it’s too late. You can’t protect me from this.” Hecate disagrees gently, desperately trying to prevent Pippa from feeling worse.

“It’s not too late Hecate. If you were at Pentangle’s then the Great Wizard will have to go through me to get you back. As an added security measure apparition within our grounds is restricted and he doesn’t have access. At the very least it will buy you time to decide what you want.” Pippa is crying now, tears she’d tried to hold back for Hecate’s sake pouring down her face. “Please let me protect you.” Her final sentence comes out in a desperate plea and Hecate is overwhelmed by the anxiety she can feel in Pippa’s magic.

She’s quiet for a long time before she finally whispers. “I don’t think it will work.” 

Pippa stands up again and turns back with her hand out. “Do you trust me?” 

“Of course.” Hecate insists as she takes the outstretched hand. “But-”

Pippa pulls her up suddenly. “Then hold on tight.”

She barely has enough time to process what’s going on before she feels the overwhelming sensation of a long-distance transportation spell and everything goes dark.


	18. Epilogue - But This Freedom I Cannot Understand

“Miss Pentangle.” Pippa awoke to the voice of her deputy and a firm hand on her shoulders. “Miss Pentangle we should get you and your guest to your rooms.”

“Oh goddess.” Pippa swore under her breath as she took in her surroundings. Even under the best of circumstances a long-distance transfer between Cackle’s and Pentangle’s of just herself wasn’t the best idea so it’s not particularly surprising that she hadn’t quite pulled it off in her stressed state and with Hecate at her side.

While she had aimed for her rooms she was off by a significant margin and the two of them had apparently made a crash landing in the conservatory. Judging by the number of students in the corridor they had probably been there for several hours. Pippa quickly uprighted herself, grabbing onto her deputy’s outstretched hand to stabilize herself. 

“Miss Pentangle are you alright?” Erik asked again, a measure of additional concern in his tone as he worked to keep her upright.

“I seem to have overestimated my own capacity Mr. Whitmore and my friend and I are experiencing a bout of magical exhaustion.” Pippa said pointedly, her voice intentionally elevated to allow her students to accurately overhear before turning to the largest group gathered by one of the large windows. “Let this be a lesson to you all that when your teachers tell you that performing magic you’re not prepared for can be dangerous we’re not exaggerating. Now get a move on, you all have examinations to be studying for.”

Once the group of students had dispersed she turned her attention quickly to Hecate who was curled up on the cobblestones only meters away. “Erik can you transfer us to my rooms? I don’t know if I have it in me yet.”

Erik nodded before focusing for a few moments and transferring the trio into Pippa’s bedroom, his careful work transferring Hecate onto the large bed in the center of the room and himself next to Pippa to stabilize her if necessary. “Perhaps this was a bit forward but I figured you’d want her to have a soft landing spot.”

“No, I appreciate it.” Pippa dismissed him quickly as she slowly moved to sit at the edge of her bed. “I’m afraid I’ve overdone myself quite a bit.”

“I’ll handle the school for as long as you need.” Erik reassured her quickly. “The students are heading home in a couple of days and I’m more than capable of handling anything you’re not up for.”

Pippa smiled gratefully. “I know Erik. Thank you.”

“If there’s anything you or Hecate need please let me know.” Erik before departing with a knowing 

The moment the door closed Pippa felt herself all but collapse in exhaustion. The transfer had truly taken it out of her and in retrospect she was grateful they’d made it to Pentangle’s at all. But they had made it. Hecate was here. For now at least, Hecate was safe.

* * *

When Hecate woke up the next evening it was to a splitting headache and an overwhelming sense of nausea. Unable to open her eyes she shifted slightly in an attempt to ascertain her surroundings but was met with a sharp pain and before she knew it she’d let out a pained groan.

It was only a moment before the doors to the room opened and familiar hands were grasping her own. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here. We’re at Pentangle’s in my rooms.” Pippa soothed her gently. When Hecate groaned again in response she began to fuss. “Are you feeling okay? Darling, what can I do?”

“I feel terrible.” Hecate groaned quietly as she tried to assess her own state. “My magic is… quite unstable.”

Pippa nodded sympathetically. “Does it feel sharp or painful? Maybe like you’re burning through it quickly even though you’re not casting?”

Hecate’s confused at how Pippa’s been able to explain her state before she’s identified it herself. “Yes… how did you know?” 

“I’ve had a few transfer students who have experienced the same thing here.” Pippa explained sympathetically as she summoned a potion from her office. “The magic source at Pentangle’s isn’t strictly speaking a founding stone. The Great Wizard of course didn’t think it was appropriate for an Academy in such opposition to the traditions of witching education to be granted a founding stone so I worked around him. Erik - my deputy - and I worked for years to develop an alternative and it works quite well but it can be a bit of an adjustment.”

Hecate shakes her head in confusion. “You what?”

Pippa sighed as she uncorked the potion. “Drink this. It will help.”

“What is it?” Hecate asks tersely, unwilling to take something an unidentified potion even if it came from the one person she trusted implicitly.

“It’s a potion I developed to help with the transition between magical energy sources.” Pippa explained patiently. “It’s predominantly fenugreek, to help clarify your magic with knotgrass to increase your bind to the source here and a bit of bat drool to speed the process.”

It takes a moment but Hecate eventually opens her eyes to look at her. “Is it always this bad?”

Pippa shook her head sympathetically. “I’m afraid not. But you’ve been with the same energy source for decades and you arrived with magical exhaustion. It makes sense that your magic would react so strongly.”

Hecate nodded before reaching out for the small bottle in Pippa’s hands. “The whole vial?” Pippa nodded and she downed the potion quickly with a grimace at the aftertaste. “That is… quite the flavor.”

Pippa smiled as she vanished the vial to her stores. “I developed it for my students. Forgive me for not making a batch to your own tastes.”

“I suppose I can let it slide.” Hecate smirks as she lays back down. “How long should it take?”

“Only a few minutes.” Pippa reassured her softly as she crawled up to sit next to her on the bed. The pair sits in silence for a while, Hecate slowly relaxing as the pain dissipates while Pippa cards her fingers through her hair.

Eventually Hecate speaks again, and this time her voice is stable and curious. “You said you developed an alternative to a founding stone?”

Pippa smiled as she looked down to meet her eyes. “Of course the first thing you’d like to discuss are my academic endeavors.”

“You haven’t published on it - I wouldn’t have missed work of this importance particularly if it was done by you.” Hecate is now fully engaged in the topic. “Why on earth isn’t this , the implications for witching education access alone are insurmountable not to mention to the potential healing benefits and-”

“We tried.” Pippa cuts her off. “As you can imagine, the Great Wizard isn’t particularly in favor of the freedoms that it provides us. He’s made it very clear to nearly every editor that publishing our work would come with significant consequences.”

Hecate shook her head in frustration. “That’s preposterous and in direct opposition to the Code’s dictations on freedom of publication.” 

“That may be true but Hiccup we can’t fight him on that right now.” Pippa gently took her hands into hers. “First we’re going to need to get your confinement lifted. That’s far more important.”

Hecate bristled at the reminder and tightened her own grip on Pippa. “Pippa I can’t ask you to help me any further. Bringing me here was generous but if you go up against the Great Wizard on my behalf he could destroy your reputation, your school, everything.”

“I don’t care about any of that.” Pippa stops her adamantly. “I spent the last thirty years fighting tooth and nail to build a school where witches and wizards could feel safe and cared for because I knew it was something you never had. Pentangle’s means nothing to me without you and if you’re not free I don’t want any of this.”

Hecate sighed as she pulled away slightly. “Pipsqueak, we can’t know how long this will take. I can’t ask you to do this.”

“You didn’t ask, I offered.” Pippa stops her with a firm kiss. “And as long as it takes, I’ll be right here. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with this story! I've loved writing it and hearing from all of you who are enjoying it.
> 
> I know I've left it somewhat unresolved but I plan to continue this canon exploration as a series. There will be at least two more multi-chapter fics (one between S3/S4 and one following S4) as well as a few one-shots to accompany these stories from the perspectives of some other characters.
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


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